I am My Beloved's, and My Beloved is Mine
by stupidsuckedinreader
Summary: E/B: A Kosherward/Jewella multi-chapter. After college, Edward Cullenman and Bella Swanstein must work on their relationship. Sometimes getting to forever can be a bit meshugana. M for lemons and K for Certified Kosher.
1. Chapter 1: Intro

**I am My Beloved's, and My Beloved is Mine**

**AN: If you haven't read my story Eight Nights of Delights, this story may not make a ton of sense. I highly recommend you read the Eight Nights of Delights first (at least the first two chapters, but all the stories have hints to this story). **

**Huge thanks to Fanpiremama for beta-ing. Please don't freak out this is only an intro. SM owns the characters I circumcised them, and converted their names. **

**BPOV**

_**Three years ago….**_

"Bella, we graduate in a few weeks and I want us to move forward with our relationship."

I stared across the table from my boyfriend of over three years. He was trying this again. I loved him with all of my heart, but I wasn't ready to be all grown-up and married or engaged for that matter.

"Edward, you know I'm not ready for that yet. I love you, but I'm not ready to be your fiancé, not yet."

"You don't want me?" He looked upset, despite the fact that lately we had this argument all the time.

"I'm not saying that. I just want to graduate, get settled first, and then… I wish you'd just quit pressuring me into this marriage thing. How many times can I tell you? I'm not ready."

"No, it's either this or we're done."

The tears welled up in my eyes. _What the hell? He doesn't know what he's saying. He's stressed with all of the decisions about law school and his senior honors thesis, but he never has ever said those words._

"What do you mean were done?" I asked. We had both planned to go to Washington, DC. He was going to go to Georgetown and I was lined up to teach at an inner-city charter school.

"It's over. You're either with me or against me." _Oh no, he's quoting George W. Bush. This can't be good. _

"Edward…" I pleaded.

"No, we're done." His face was devoid of all emotion. I was used to his pig-headedness but not to this extent.

"But…but…I've given you the best semesters of my life." I stammered, looking up to see the love of my life, Edward Cullenman, throw a twenty on the table and walk out the door and my life.

**AN: I have posted this initial intro chapter in two places with Eight Nights of Delights and also on it's own. Please put I am My Beloved on alert the next chapter will be posted shortly. Oh and don't freak out about the heartfail. Thanks**


	2. Chapter 2: Schmear vs Cream Cheese

**AN: ****If you haven't read my story Eight Nights of Delights, this story may not make a ton of sense. I highly recommend you read the Eight Nights of Delights first (at least the first two chapters, but all the stories have hints to this story).**

**Huge thanks to Fanpiremama for beta-ing. SM owns the characters I circumcised them, and converted their names. I tend to play up some stereotypes; it is all meant in good fun. If you are offended, let me know, or just hit the x button on your browser window.**

**Chapter 1: Schmear vs. Cream Cheese**

**EPOV**

_**Present day…**_

My parents were in town for graduation and of course my mom was helping me pack up my room. I was moving to New York.

"Edward, what do you want me to do with this box?" Mom asked.

I quickly glanced at the unopened box but instantly knew the contents – my heart. Three years ago, I stupidly walked away from my everything. Since that day, I had realized how wrong I had been, but first she stopped taking my calls, didn't respond to my emails, and then she changed her number. Her parents claimed they passed on my messages, but she never responded. The Swansteins retired and moved to Arizona last year and so I only knew that Bella was teaching in New York City.

I should have kept in better touch with my high school friends. Jasper Whitlosky had proposed to his long-time girlfriend, Alice Brandonberg, or so said the synagogue's newsletter. According to Facebook, Emmett McCarty was in a relationship with Rosalie Hayles. All the couples from our youth group had miraculously survived but us, the presidents, the leaders.

"This get's packed, as well," I said, indicating the box of Bella stuff. I wasn't ready to throw it out. I was hoping I could track her down when I got to New York. My parents nodded, and Mom grabbed an empty box and Dad's hand to go pack up the contents of my bathroom.

Yes, my parents were packing up my bathroom. It's not like I had anything to hide. Zayin, my penis hated me. He only worked when I thought about Bella. Other chicks, other tits, even porn didn't work on Zayin.

Oh, I tried. I even dated this one girl during my second year of law school. She was the anti-Bella – blonde, tall, not Jewish, from a very old family in Rhode Island. We went for a few weeks; we even had sex, but she just laid there and let me do all the work. If that wasn't bad enough, she gave me a blow job, if you could call it that – she was all teeth! I was right about one thing; she was absolutely nothing like Bella.

After my experience of having sex with her, Zayin was traumatized. He wouldn't perform unless I thought of Bella. Yup, he only had eyes, or eye for her. So, it was me and my right hand for law school and a very raw, flaccid Zayin. If you looked carefully, you could tell that my right arm was bigger than my left.

As if law school wasn't miserable enough, I found a way to be even more miserable through my three year education. Sure, I had friends and all, but part of me was missing. When recruiters from the big law firms came, I only even considered the ones that were in the Big Apple, because that is where she lived. Hence, the big move.

The plan was to move up to New York, secure a small studio apartment, study for the bar exam and look for Bella. Now, it wasn't that I didn't take the bar exam seriously, but I was told I didn't need to get serious until after the Fourth of July. That left me almost two whole months to track her down. In this day and age of social media, she couldn't hide forever.

"Carlisle, I know he is my son, but he was a schmuck to that girl. You don't walk away from love. You don't," Mom whispered loudly from the bathroom.

"Ma, I can hear you," I shouted back.

_Geez, even my own mother thinks I'm a schmuck. I am. I know I am, but does she have to point it out – all the time? _Menopause had not been kind to my mother in the past five years. She'd gone from the relaxed, put-together mother I grew up with, to an overbearing, loudmouth, harpy practically overnight. We kept hoping that she'd return to normal but so far, she hadn't.

As thankful as I was to have my parents help me pack, and drive the U-Haul up to New York from Washington, DC, the tension headache that came from being around Mom had started to grow. I tried to drown her out with my iPod.

I knew I could pass the bar, I knew New York City held possibilities, and I knew that this schmuck was going to fix things.

**BPOV**

You know how you say things and you mean them, but maybe your tone was too harsh? That's what happened that night with Edward. For months, I replayed that night in my head. Thinking if only I had… but I hadn't. It took almost a year of therapy to even stop having nightmares of him walking away from me. That's what hurt the most – he walked away from me.

At first, he called, and I wanted to pick up the phone, but my friends said he'd come begging back and not do this over the phone. He didn't come. Eventually the calls stopped and a few months later, so did the emails. For awhile, I thought I could go to Washington, DC and try to talk to him, get back on our plan, but as days turned to weeks, and week turned to months, life got in the way. I felt paralyzed and couldn't do it. Instead Rosalie and Alice dragged me to New York City with them. I had already missed the start of the school year in DC, but quickly found a position in New York City Public Schools. It wasn't a great school, but it was a job. Those 200 or so miles between New York and Washington, DC may have well have been 2000 miles.

Eventually, I moved on with my life, but I didn't forget him. I still used the stupid Prada key ring he had bought me for Hanukkah our sophomore year of school. Most of the other things I had from our relationship were hidden away, but that stupid gift, I used. Edward always did hold the key to my heart.

I had hoped I would meet someone one day, I even tried to date. Edward Cullenman would be my one who got away and while I wasn't pleased with the way things had turned out, I didn't do much to change the situation. I could have looked him up, kept tabs on him. Heck, I could have told my parents to talk to his parents, but I didn't. Looking back, all the reasons that had once rationalized my actions, no longer made sense in my head anymore.

School was finally out. It was my last year of teaching. I was going back to grad school in the fall to get my Master's in Business. I wanted to one day run a non-profit organization and being a teacher, wasn't going to cut it. After eating ramen noodles four times a week, for a few months, I had enough in savings to not have to work all summer. My goal was to pretend I was one of those trust-fund kids, the ones who sat in cafes and sipped coffee in the middle of the day while all of us little people worked.

No café for me today, I wanted a giant, New York bagel, overstuffed with cream cheese. I threw on my flip flops, and my favorite baseball cap, which was his and hobbled down the steps of my apartment building. Rosalie and I shared a one –bedroom that we had converted into two by erecting a wall. I pretty much lived in a glorified walk-in closet, but Rosalie only made me pay a-third of the rent.

The bagel place was empty, despite being the weekend. New York, with the exception of Times Square and Midtown, cleared out on weekends in the summertime. Everyone was in the country, the Hamptons, or Down the Shore. Everyone, but me. I might have been able to afford not to work all summer, but travelling was not in my budget.

"Nice hat. Did you go there or do you just wear the hat?" the guy behind the counter asked.

No one ever asked me about it. I had taken it from Edward years ago. "No, I didn't go to Harvard," I replied. I just like the hat, but I could only get away with wearing it when Rosalie was away.

" I'll have an everything bagel with chive shmear." Yeah, I called it shmear now not cream cheese like the rest of the country.

It's not like I was going to be kissing anyone. Sure, Rosalie and Alice had put me on that Jewish dating site. You know the one with ads in Times Square, where every Jewish mother goes to hock her child so that they could meet a nice Jewish boy or girl and give them Jewish grandbabies.

I went out a few times, but not with anyone who I even remotely wanted to even practice making grandbabies for my parents with. _Yuck. _

Sure, I had gone through a period, albeit brief, where I had slutted myself up a bit after I got over the initial shock of being dumped by Edward Cullenman, but I could never do it. I mean I tried. Oh had I tried. I dated every guy who was the opposite of Edward. There was Alistair, who was dancing with the idea of being a Catholic priest, Muhammad, he was Muslim and didn't believe in the State of Israel. _Yeah, that didn't last long. _Then there was Peter, the musician and anarchist. They weren't _him_, which was the initial appeal, but that was also why they never progressed passed a second date.

Some days, when I was feeling overly pessimistic, I figured I would end up an old maid or perhaps in a few years I could visit a sperm bank and give my parents grandchildren with a frozen pop. Sometimes, when Rosalie was over at Emmett's, I would turn on Fox News and leave it playing on the background while I graded papers. It was like he was there, but then no one was yelling at Bill O'Reilly. I missed him yelling at Bill O'Reilly, but not really having to watch Bill O'Reilly every night; he was a pinhead.

Hating to eat alone, I pulled out my dog-eared copy _Deborah, Golda and Me, _pulled my hat down and continued to eat my bagel.

I didn't look up when the bells on the door jingled, nor did I look up when I heard a faintly familiar voice order the exact same thing I had ordered. I did look up when the guy behind the counter told the customer they were out of everything bagels.

"Awh, shit," the customer cried, slamming their fists on the counter.

That made me look up. I knew that ass. I could pick that ass out of a line up. I had bitten that ass. I knew that ass. My eyes traveled further up, stopping at the hair peeking out from under a baseball cap. I knew that hair; that distinct hair color. Oh yes, those curtains matched the drapes. With the identity confirmed, I went into panic mode. Leaving would be too conspicuous, instead I started riffling through my bag trying to find my giant sunglasses.

Of course, being the klutz that I am, I knocked the chair next to me over when I reached for my bag and the commotion caused him to turn my way.

**EPOV**

A month of living in New York and I knew she lived in this neighborhood. It wasn't as if I was stalking her, but I did spend an inordinate amount of time in the area, hoping to bump into her. I had another three weeks until the Fourth of July, and then my activities would be suspended while I focused on the New York State Bar Exam.

I had my books in my messenger bag and had planned to read in the park, until it got too hot, but first I was craving a decent bagel. The stories about New York bagels are true. They are bigger than other bagels. It reminded me of my penis theory: the more a group of people is oppressed, the larger the size of the penises of those people. Not that New York was oppressed; rumor was the water is what made the bagels bigger.

"Everything bagel with chive crème cheese, please," I asked the dude behind the counter.

"Just sold the last everything bagel of the day," the dude said.

"Awwh, shit," I cried, banging my fist against the counter. I thought about it for a few moments. "I guess I'll have poppy seed bagel instead. Suddenly, I heard a commotion behind me and I turned around and caught her eye.

Our eyes locked for what seemed to be eternity, but it was only long enough for my bagel to be ready. I paid the guy, barely capable of focusing on the bills I laid on the counter. She picked up the chair as soon as I had turned my eyes away, even if it was for a few moments.

With my food in hand, I walked toward her. My love. "Bella?" I asked. It was more of a question, permission to sit down, or for her to acknowledge me, anything.

She was pretending to read her Jewish feminist book, she had read that book a million times. "Hi," she replied softly, placing her book down on the table.

"I can't believe it's you. How are you doing? Do you mind?" I asked, grabbing the chair that had fallen and sat down.

She didn't respond.

I sat and took her in. She was doing the same. I wonder if the guy behind the counter would mind if I threw her down on this table and let me have my way with her?

_Baruch Ha-Shem._ She was even more beautiful than I remembered. There was something different about her eyes that I didn't recall from our undergrad days. Pain. Sorrow. I recognized it when I looked at myself in the mirror.

Our bagels remained on the table untouched.

"What are you doing here?" she asked breaking the silence.

"Studying for the bar exam. Can you believe it? I survived law school. I've got a job at some big firm." I didn't want to be that asshole who named dropped. Most firms in New York sounded something like Jew, Jew, and Irishman or Irishman, Irishman, and Jew or some variation on ethnicity usually with the inevitable one partner who was Jewish.

She didn't respond. This was awkward. She began to rub her collarbone and move her fingers over the top of her breasts. Zayin twitched. _Fuck. I had forgotten the effect she had on him. Hello, old friend, nice of you to decide to work, now. _There is nothing like being a 22 year-old and developing a psychologically-induced erectile dysfunction disorder because only your ex-girlfriend could turn you on. Three years later, I was still dealing with Zayin not cooperating.

"So, what have you been up to?" I asked. I knew bits and pieces.

"What's it to you?" she spat, her entire body tensing up. "You walked away. You never came back. I don't even know what I am doing sitting here talking to you." Bella went to gather her things, but I stopped her with my hand.

"I was a schmuck. I know I don't deserve it, but please let me explain. You didn't let me try to explain – I tried, but you refused to listen to me."

She sat back down, her lips were quivering. I wanted to kiss them to make them stop.

"I'm listening now."

"I called and emailed you. You never responded."

"But Edward, you never came back. Anyone can make a phone call, you couldn't take a few minutes and try to talk to me in person?"

"I tried a few times, you weren't home and then I had to pack up for Georgetown and I was so torn. I almost didn't go. I was so stupid and stubborn. I'm so sorry. Please I'll do anything for you to forgive me. Anything – I only want to talk for one afternoon and after that, if you don't want me around I promise, I'll leave you alone. A few hours is all I ask, to apologize."

"Wow, when I woke up this morning I never thought the day would take this type of turn of events. I've missed you, every second we were apart. You were my best friend. You were my everything and you just ended things because you didn't get your way at the exact moment you wanted to. As much as my heart has missed you, I can't forgive you, though."

_Oh? _My heart, which for a brief moment of being back in Bella's presence had begun to fill again, quickly deflated. It hurt. I quickly flexed my fingers in my left hand – they weren't tingling – good, not a heart attack. It hurt though, it ached.

"So, you're staying in New York?" she asked. I was confused with her line of questioning.

"Yes, this is where I have decided to make my home," I responded.

"Why here? Of all the cities in America, why'd you come here?"

"You. I knew time wouldn't heal all wounds, but I had to find you, beg for your forgiveness, find some closure if that was…"

"You want closure?" she asked.

"I…I…I just had to see you again. Even if you hate me and can't forgive me, ever. I just had to see."

"You left me. You broke me and now you want closure? You want forgiveness?"

I nodded.

She sat there, biting her lip as she thought. I could see her mind trying to figure out my logic. I had to actively think about not reaching across the table to touch her.

I picked at my bagel. She picked at hers. I slurped my orange juice.

Finally, Bella looked up at me. "I can't forgive you."

I nodded my head, resigned at the worst possible outcome of our encounter. "I deserve that. I'll leave you alone."

She shook her head looking frustrated. "No! That's not it. What I meant to say is I can't just forgive you for walking away from me three years ago, but I can see if I like the person you are now. " Her fingers grazed over my hand that was resting on the table, begging me not to walk away again.

"You'd give me a chance?" I rubbed my thumb over her tiny fingers. They were cold. Bella always had horrible circulation.

"I don't know, but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least give you a chance."

I wanted to ask her what she was doing for the next fifty years, but I thought that might be too presumptuous.

"You have plans for the rest of the day?" I asked, throwing studying by the wayside.

"I've got nothing, I'm all yours." Bella shrugged.

Not yet, but if I had my way, she would be again.

**AN: More to come. I will try to update as often as I can.**

**Zayin = Penis in Hebrew**


	3. Chapter 3: The AntiSchmuck

**AN: ****If you haven't read my story Eight Nights of Delights, this story may not make a ton of sense. I highly recommend you read the Eight Nights of Delights first (at least the first two chapters, but all the stories have hints to this story).**

**Huge thanks to Wheathe79 for pre-reading and FanpireMama for beta-ing. SM owns the characters I circumcised them, converted their names, and forced them to eat my brisket. I tend to play up some stereotypes; it is all meant in good fun. If you are offended, let me know, or just hit the x button on your browser window.**

**Chapter2: The Anti-Schmuck **

**BPOV**

Edward was like the Bush tax cuts. I didn't want to like them, but how can one not like something that saved money. Okay, that was a horrible metaphor, but I couldn't help but to like Edward – again. After we had left the bagel shop, we spent the afternoon together, and then we grabbed dinner and then ice cream. We were still catching up, so we met up again the next day and then the next and the next. We met around his bar exam classes and his homework, but the days started to not feel complete without at least speaking to him.

Maybe a better metaphor would be to say he was like my favorite pair of shoes that got thrown in the closet and had recently been rediscovered. Although, unlike shoes that were worn in public, I was very secretive about talking to Edward again. My friends and definitely my parents would freak out if they had known we were talking again.

I think my parents would be relieved, especially my mom. She had always blamed me for the breakup and thought I had been stupid not to say yes to Edward. Sometimes, I liked to call my mom Mrs. Bennett, because she was like the mother in _Pride and Prejudice, _whose was intent in marrying me off. She was sure Edward Cullenman would be the best _suitor _for me and I had pushed him away. Sure, she got that I wasn't ready to be engaged, but they had adored Edward. He had been the one to walk away from me, but I had been the one to reject him. Since it had been several wrongs that tore us apart, I wasn't sure how everyone would react. So, I hid the fact that we were talking.

It was easy to do since my friends were all working and I was the poor slob bumming around the city all summer. I wanted to be inspired to do something more worthwhile like volunteer or cook my way through a cookbook, like that one woman who blogged about it and then wrote a book, and then had the book made into a movie, but usually I ended up reading. Since the breakup, I had stopped reading for a while, and even when I did occasionally read, it was usually one of the classics like Dickens. I had avoided romances, until this week.

Slowly, but surely, hope was returning to me. _Shit! _I have to stop getting lost in my own thoughts. I was cooking Edward dinner. It was stupid; we lived in a city where every type of food was readily accessible. Rosalie and I rarely used our kitchen. In fact, I had to take our knee high boots out of the oven so I could use the broiler.

I didn't want to cook anything too heavy, so I was making steak salads and brining them over to his apartment. With all of his studying, I figured he could use a home cooked meal, but the June heat that had blanketed the city hadn't made it conducive to anything too heavy.

Was a home cooked meal too much? Maybe I was trying too hard. I was trying too hard. What would he think of me cooking him a meal? What would I think if the tables were turned? Well, I would think he was trying to move out of the friends' zone. I think we were in the friends' zone; we were talking and hanging out. We weren't sucking one another's faces, although the thought had crossed my mind. I should pick up burritos or something.

**EPOV**

I was finishing up my assignment for my Barbri class to prepare for the New York state bar exam when the doorbell rang. It was Bella. My plan was working – we were talking. Better yet, Zayin was happy again. Well as happy as a penis could be with my right hand but seeing Bella had caused him to spring back to life, literally. I wanted to kiss her, but I wanted to take it slow, make sure the timing was right and she wouldn't freak out.

Slow. We had never done anything slow. Since we had gotten together, over a game of dreidel on the first night of Hanukkah four years ago, to losing our virginity eight nights later – nothing we did was ever slow. Even proposing, I had rushed her and for the past three years, I had sworn I would never rush her again. I would never push her again. Yeah, I was still totally pussy-whipped by this girl.

"Hey," I said, opening the door. I wanted to say 'hey, beautiful' but I was trying to show some restrain. She looked gorgeous in a pair of jeans and long tank top. Her tits were definitely bigger than they had been in college. If they continued to grow they'd be huge by the time we reached our golden years. Of course, she could wear a burlap sack and still be beautiful. _Or she could wear nothing – ugh, I needed to shut Zayin up! _During our time apart, her body had become even more curved and womanly.

Bella smiled at me and held up a shopping bag. "I cooked dinner."

Was this a sign? Did she want to be more than friends? I was hoping we could keep working on our friendship and then after the bar, maybe move the relationship along. Of course, my planning in the past had proven disastrous.

"Come in. Let me get some plates. Make yourself at home."

Bella walked in, put the bag on the table, and began to unpack it as I ran to my tiny kitchen and pulled out some plates and silverware. I placed them on the table.

"Wine?"

"Red, please. We're having steak salad."

Meat. She made me meat. _I had some meat for her. _I was going to die taking this slow. I ran to my small wine rack and pulled out a red wine from a small winery in Washington State. Sure, Washington wasn't known for its wine, but Bella was the only person I could think of who would get a kick out of it.

I grabbed two glasses, holding them between my fingers and the wine bottle. Before opening the bottle, I displayed the label in a very Vanna White-like fashion.

"Columbia Crest, it's from Washington State," I announced.

"Shut up. Is it any good?" She was already sitting down and when she said that she looked up at me, biting her lip. I missed those lips.

"I don't know. My parents gave me a bunch of wine from their collection to get my own collection started. You know, it's no Baron Herzog, but let's give it a whirl." I tended to do that a lot with Bella, bring up things from our past to remind her of our past. Not that I needed to remind her, but I had avoided so many things that reminded me of her for so long that it was like a floodgate.

"You do that a lot," Bella commented as I was pouring the wine.

"What?"

"Mention things from our past. I didn't forget any of it."

"I know. I didn't either." I took a gulp of the wine; it wasn't half bad. The wine helped loosen me up. "I'll stop if it makes you uncomfortable; it's just I avoided a lot when I was in law school."

"I avoided a lot of things too."

"Bella, I avoided anything that made me think of you."

She nodded and started serving me salad.

"So, have you told anyone that we're talking?" She asked.

"My parents, but they knew I was seeking you out. I haven't told them everything just that I've seen you and we talked."

"Past tense?" Bella took a sip of wine.

"I didn't want to get their hopes up and I didn't know how long you would be talking to me," I shrugged. _That sounded nonchalant, didn't it?_

We ate in silence. I had successfully killed the conversation.

"Bella, did you tell anyone we're talking?"

"No, not yet, at least. I am still unsure what I am going to say when I do decide to tell them."

"So, you're planning to tell them?"

"Whoa, holy line of questioning, counselor. Edward, I'd be lying if I said I didn't like spending time with you."

_But…_

I waited for a _but_, but it didn't come. _Holy shit. Come on, say something back you schmuck! _

"I like spending time with you too. I've missed hanging out with a normal person."

Bella snorted; well it was more of a giggle-snort.

"Me, normal?"

"Well, compared to a law student and definitely compared to someone taking the bar exam. Somehow you always find a way to ground me."

"I didn't avoid everything that made me think of you, Edward."

I looked up and waited for her to elaborate. She had my attention – mine… Zayin's…

"When no one else was around, I sometimes would put on Fox News and pretend you were in the room. Sometimes I would leave it on and turn the sleep mode on and fall asleep to the O'Reilly Factor," Bella confessed.

I really wanted to fucking kiss her. Instead, I reached out and squeezed her hand. She squeezed back and didn't let go.

Had I just pulled the anchor on the friends' zone? Were we setting sail to the land of relationships? Not bad, Cullenman. Not bad at all.

**BPOV**

I didn't want to let go of his hand. So we ate with our rights hands, while our left hands remained intertwined on top of the table. The steak was too chewy and my jaw was already starting to get sore. Not that it mattered; it wasn't as if I was going to give him a blow job or anything.

I was going to have to tell everyone about Edward. I didn't want to hide this, but I wasn't ready to share him either. Besides, his schedule with studying for the bar was only going to get worse and I didn't want him to feel like he had to live up to people's expectations, let alone mine.

"Listen, Edward, your main focus right now should be on taking this bar exam and passing. You don't want to be like JFK Jr."

"Bella, I already don't like to fly."

"Ughh, no, still too soon. He had to take the bar exam three times in order to pass. Your job depends on you passing – I get it. I refuse to be the reason why you didn't pass."

"You'd never be…"

"Cullenman, you may not say it but I would know it. I'm a bum until late August, that's when my pre-term orientation starts. So, when you are free and want to hang out – call me."

"How enterprising, you'd be my beck and call girl?" Edward replied, smiling.

"Shut up! No, but if I'm not busy – we'll hang out."

"I was just teasing, you know. You never cease to amaze me – going from teaching to getting your MBA. What would you want with a douche bag like me?"

"Oh, come off it, Edward. The job market sucks for lawyers and for you to be an associate at some big firm – that says a lot."

"We really are over-achievers aren't we? Even in breaking up – we really over achieved in really screwing things up."

"We can't go backward and regrets are just that regrets. We have both learned a lot and grown as people," Edward said. When did he get to be so wise? I thought law school was supposed to be pretty useless.

"That's good. I may have to use that when I tell people."

"Tell people what?"

"Tell people about us. I will say just that – we both made mistakes the only way you and I both know how to do something – with 100% commitment to making them. The past is and will be the past and our future is…well, our future is unknown," I stated. I hadn't expected to be so philosophical at dinner.

"There's one date in the future that needs to be known."

I looked up at Edward quizzically. Was he planning our wedding again? I still had two years of b-school to get through.

"The Fourth of July – it's sort of the last unofficial day I can take off before the bar exam. I hear Macy's does a pretty good fireworks display over the East River and well, you see I have a roof top deck here. Would you want to come over and watch the fireworks with me?"

"Just me?" I asked. Usually Alice and Jasper hosted a barbeque at their apartment. The past couple of years I had done that with them.

"Yeah, just you. Since we aren't telling anyone about us, and the only other people I really know in the city are a few people from law school and a few of my AEPi fraternity brothers; I thought we could do something low-key- just you and me. Hey, that rhymes."

My imagination was going wild with images of Edward and me having sex on his rooftop deck as fireworks went off in the sky. As much as the image, excited me it scared me, because my next thought was that he was setting me up. He wanted to fuck me and then never call me again. I saw myself staring at my phone, willing it to ring. I was starting to think that this was just some elaborate scheme for revenge. I had to get out of here.

"Bella!" Edward shouted my name and it shook me out of my thought stream. "Stop over-analyzing this. I see the panic written all over your face."

"Panic? Me? Pshawww," I replied, brushing away the thought with my hand. Of course I was lying. I wanted to trust him. I wanted to believe that he missed me and had sought me out because of that – not some trite revenge plot.

"Talk to me, Bells. Let me into that head of yours. We aren't going to get derailed by some overplayed miscommunication plot-device that the writers of _Three's Company_ used a thousand times."

I swallowed hard. If I told him I thought that he could be only doing this for revenge, he'd only deny it. If I didn't say anything, he'd know I was covering up and that something was still bothering me. I wish my parents could be here. My dad would give Edward that scary 'what are your intentions toward my daughter speech'. Of course, my parents were pro-gun control so it isn't like he'd pull a shotgun on Edward.

Nope, my dad wasn't here. So, I'd have to look out for myself. "We've caught one another up on our lives over the past three years, and it's been great, but I have to ask before we go further, what are your intentions for seeking me out besides apologizing? Is this some sick game?"

Edward's mouth dropped in disgust. "How? How could you even think…? Do you think that poorly of me? What the fuck? Really?" He stopped.

I could practically see the smoke coming out of his ears. I fucked up. I shouldn't have said anything, but maybe he was mad because I was right.

"No, sorry I shouldn't have blown up at you just now. I was the one to walk away from you three years ago; you have every right not to trust me. I sought you out to apologize and because I miss you. That is all, nothing else. Would I want to try to get back to where we were? Yes, I would, but better, stronger…"

"The six million dollar relationship – better, stronger, faster?" I joked.

He chuckled along with me. "You don't change, you know that? You're still using humor to deflect during serious conversations."

I nodded. "I know, but our breakup isn't just on you. I rejected you in the worse kind of way. We were both wrong in different ways, but we were 22 and maybe we needed time to grow up."

"You never answered me. Fourth of July – my rooftop – you and me? Are you in?"

Oh, he definitely had something planned.

"How can I say no to you? Erm, bad choice of words – ummm, yes, yes I'll be there."

**EPOV**

She was still my Bella – always saying the wrong thing at the wrong time or deflecting with humor. It was something I knew her college friends would often be annoyed with, but frankly, I missed it.

Tonight opened my eyes to so many things I hadn't wanted to see all week. While we had caught up, there was still a lot of healing that we needed to accomplish together. Of that healing, sexual healing was definitely not off the table _oh, yeah! _ We had a lot to work on, but we would get there. I couldn't wait to tell my parents.

Luckily, it was still early in Washington.

"Edward, how's the studying going?" My mom asked, she picked up the phone within the first ring.

"It's going, Mom. So you know how I told you Bella and I had talked? Well we have been talking and I had dinner tonight with her…"

"And…"

"We're still talking. We've been catching up and tonight we talked a little about where we went wrong. I think she missed me as much as I missed her. She even cooked for me."

"She cooked? What'd she make?"

"Steak salad."

"Oh, I bet it was tough – she broiled the steak right? I marinate mine for days – melts right in your mouth." I pinched the bridge of my nose. This is what my mother had become in the past few years. "Let me get your father… Carlisle…Carlisle, Edward's on the phone," she screamed right into the phone and my ear.

My poor father got on the line. "Edward, how's it going?"

"He lied to us. He and Bella have been talking all week," Mom volunteered.

"That's wonderful! How's it going?" He asked.

"Slow, but steady, Dad. She agreed to come over to watch the fireworks with me."

"That's terrific!" He replied encouragingly.

"Do you think it's best to be starting something with her this close to the bar exam? She could be a big distraction to your studies."

"Ma, Bella is fully supportive of me taking the bar. She knows the Fourth of July is it until afterI take the test. She's really got her act together. I told you she got into NYU's School of Business. She's getting her MBA so she can run a non-profit."

"Edward, keep doing what you're doing. Your mother and I support you. We always knew you and Bella would be running the world one day."

"Thanks. I should go. I have some studying to do before my class tomorrow."

"Edward, one more thing…" my mom started to say, "don't mess this up again and don't be a schmuck."

**Schmuck: meaning an obnoxious, contemptible person; one who is stupid, foolish, or detestable. Reviews are like butter - like a big stick of butter!**


	4. Chapter 4: Boom, Boom, Plotz

**AN: ****If you haven't read my story Eight Nights of Delights, this story may not make a ton of sense. I highly recommend you read the Eight Nights of Delights first (at least the first two chapters, but all the chapters have hints to this story).**

**Huge thanks to wheather79 for pre-reading and FanpireMama for beta-ing. SM owns the characters - I circumcised them, converted their names, forced them to eat my brisket, and gave them matzo ball soup when they were sick. I tend to play up some stereotypes; it is all meant in good fun. If you are offended, let me know, or just hit the x button on your browser window.**

**Chapter3: Boom-Boom-Plotz**

**EPOV**

New York City at the end of June was hot as balls. It wasn't as bad as the summers I had spent in DC, which was like as hot as balls on a fat man at the gym, but NYC was soupy. Luckily my window air conditioning in my apartment was working quite well, which is more than I could say for Bella's. She didn't want to impose, but I knew she loved getting out of her apartment as much as possible, so she would often stop by and cool off. Though, being the nice Jewish girl that she was – Bella would never arrive empty handed. Menus, brownies, ingredients for cooking dinner - she seemed to really enjoy spending time with me and I was determined not to fuck this up.

From spending so much time together, more time than I could have ever imagined, I learned Bella didn't want to fuck whatever we were going to be up either. She hadn't said it out loud yet, but she had hinted at in conversation and had tried in other ways, like cooking and bringing me baked goods, that our disastrous breakup wasn't solely on me. We both had failed and although I was comfortable with freely saying the words out loud, Bella, being Bella, was always a bit more stubborn.

I didn't expect any less from her. She was Isabella Swanstein. She was tough, smart, and could command a room. Being a Jewish girl named after a queen who actually expelled the Jews couldn't have been easy. Okay, that's a bit of a stretch, I'm sure Bella hadn't even realized that she shared a name with her. It's not like she's named Adolf or anything. On second thought, maybe she had. I used to think I knew what was going through that girl's head, but I was never going to assume anything anymore.

Zayin was happy and I was glad water was included in my rent, because of the copious amount of time I spent in the shower. I didn't know when we would ever be more, and actually get physical. Heck, I hadn't even given her a peck on the cheek. I was thinking the Fourth of July and the fireworks on my rooftop deck would be the perfect backdrop for our first re-kiss.

I had the day planned in my head and I had avoided phone calls from my mother, because if I told her what I was planning she'd criticize it. So, when I wasn't studying, jacking off, spending time with Bella, or sleeping, I was planning. My rooftop deck was a mess. It was small, but it was mine and a quick order to CB2 took care of furnishing it. Thankfully, I had a small signing bonus and my parents had yet to make me relinquish their credit card.

So, it should all be ready for the big day. There I go over-planning things all over again.

**BPOV**

They, whoever "they" are, say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Clearly, I was overcompensating for not apologizing and taking some ownership in the downfall of our relationship. Gosh, that makes it sound so epic, but then we had been epic. Edward was my best friend and it was so easy for us to bring back the whole friendship side of things. So easy. Too easy. I did plan to formally apologize during our Fourth of July celebration. Of course, I wasn't sure how'd he take it. I think he would be okay with it and would want to move forward, with well, I don't know what we were attempting. The thought had crossed my mind of what if he rejected my apology and our short reconciliation was just that – a short reconciliation. I didn't want to lose him, again. I needed to have a contingency plan if that did occur.

"Oh, my, gawd! Is that my roommate, Bella Swanstein? It looks like her, but wait, she doesn't hang out here anymore." I heard from the door of my apartment opening.

I turned and saw my tall and very blonde bombshell roommate, Rosalie Hayles. We had been best friends since one of the first days of Hebrew school. Rosalie was an assistant salesperson at the only Ferrari dealer in Manhattan.

"Oh, hey. Yeah, I'm home tonight." Edward had a study group and it was expected to go late.

"So, what's his name, Bella?" Rosalie asked as she threw her purse on the counter and came to sit next to me on our couch.

"What?"

"Oh, come off it, you've been going out almost every night. You are happy for the first time, like ever," she said as she kicked off her shoes and plopped down next to me.

I needed a good lie. I couldn't tell her I was seeing Edward again. Not yet. I wasn't ready to share him and let people know what was going on before I figured out what was really going on, but maybe I could hint at it.

"Well, umm, I had an idea. I was wondering if you could ask Emmett to friend Edward on Facebook?"

Rosalie gave me a look like I had just taken a giant shit on the coffee table.

"Okay, hear me out. I was thinking. He must be done with law school and I am wondering where he's living. I mean maybe he's in DC, but maybe he's not. I'm curious. I've spent a lot of time the past few weeks thinking about the past and well, I miss him." I was being a little deceitful.

"You could friend him."

"I could, but I figured if Emmett did it wouldn't look like I was desperate or anything."

"When you put it like that – it's not a horrible idea. Let me go change and I will call him."

Rosalie and Emmett were pretty serious, but Rose's parents were super strict and would never allow them to live together unless she had a ring on her finger. Let's just say Rose totally overplayed that Beyonce song. Emmett had also moved to NYC after graduation and had a job doing some type of financial analysis for the NFL.

I checked my phone to see if Edward had called, but he hadn't. I knew I would have to get used to not hearing from him for several weeks while he focused on the bar exam. It scared me how comfortable it was to fall back into so many of our old habits of hanging out together – of course, we weren't physical at all. Holding hands and hugs were about the extent of that.

"Done. Emmett sent Edward a friend request. He said he'd call when Edward accepted," Rosalie said, emerging from her bedroom in an outfit mirroring mine – tank top and boyshorts. It was too hot to wear anything else.

It wouldn't take long for Edward to accept as he was attached to his smart phone and was always checking email and such.

"Thanks. I don't know Rose, am I crazy for thinking about him?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "No. Seriously, I don't know what those Brandeis friends of yours were thinking – why didn't you talk to him when he tried to talk to you? Why did you ignore him? Alice and I both thought that was the stupidest thing in the world."

"I don't know and trust me I regret it. My college friends thought I needed time to cool off, they thought he'd be around and then he wasn't and I had too much pride."

"And now? Do you have too much pride?"

"No." My response was immediate. It had taken me three years and Edward having the balls. I smiled at the thought of his balls. He was wrong to walk away and I was wrong to not try to talk it out when he tried to.

Of course Rosalie's phone chimed with the football ringtone she had assigned to Emmett's number. I could only hear her end of the conversation. "Hey. Yeah, great. So, where is he living? It says New York? Shut up. Wait, let me tell Bella…"

Rosalie turned toward me. "He's living in New York. Emmett may try to meet up with him. He always liked Edward. Is that okay with you?"

"New York? Oh my!" I feigned shock. "Umm, I don't care. Emm can do whatever he wants. They were so close in high school – I won't begrudge him."

"Thanks, umm, I'm going to take this in my room, Bella. Something has definitely come over you, but it is good whatever it is."

* * *

I wasn't trying to seduce Edward, but he had invited me over for the Fourth of July and we were going to spend the afternoon reading outside. Given the amount of time I was going to be spending outside, I needed to wear a bathing suit and mine just happened to be a bikini. Examining myself in the mirror, I couldn't help but notice how much my butt had become toned walking around New York. I wasn't fat in college, but I definitely had some schmaltz on me from drinking and such. Most of that had been burned off from the frequent gym trips I now took each week.

I threw on a cotton jersey sundress over my bathing suit and examined my to-be read pile of books looking for something good to read. I didn't want anything too heavy and finally picked out a book that had been on the bestseller list. I probably wouldn't have much time for reading for pleasure once I started school.

I arrived at Edward's later that afternoon. He answered the door wearing khaki cargo shorts and a vintage t-shirt. There is something about Edward's bare legs that always turned me on. His bronze leg hair and his toned calves were just utterly lickable.

"Hey," he said, opening the door.

"Hi," I said, biting my lip. Why was this so awkward? It's not like we were going to have sex or anything.

"Let me get the cooler and we can head up to the roof deck." I nodded.

Yup, definitely awkward.

Edward fiddled with ice and the refrigerator in the kitchen.

"Do you need help?" I asked curious as to what he was doing.

"No, I got this, but umm, so, Emmett McCartney friended me on Facebook earlier this week."

"I know."

Edward reappeared and motioned us to leave with his head. We climbed the staircase to the roof deck and I was amazed at how well it was set up.

"Wow! This view – wow! Edward, this is great. You must be paying a fortune for this place."

He shrugged. _Awkward. _"So," I continued, "I thought that if Emmett befriended you on Facebook then when I tell my friends that we are…" I didn't know what to say. I wasn't sure what we were.

"It makes sense, besides I've missed Emmett. Does he really work for the NFL? "

I nodded my head, relieved Edward didn't want to venture down that whole "what are we" conversation territory.

"So, I packed up some snacks for us. You've been cooking for me so much I thought I'd do something." Edward pulled some containers out of the cooler. "Zabars."

Shaking my head as I sat down on one of the padded chaise loungers I replied, "You didn't have to go to all that trouble. I'm a simple gal."

"Oh, I know. I'm grilling hotdogs tonight." The thought of doing dirty and suggestive things to my hotdog as I ate it came to mind. I think the same thought flashed in Edward's mind, because his lips curled up and he looked away.

"Well, these dumplings look delicious." I grabbed one from the plate and popped it into my mouth.

"Good?" Edward asked, taking the chaise next to me and pulling out a very large Barbri book out of his bag.

"The flavor explodes in my mouth," I replied, my mouth half-full. Edward laughed at my response. He probably, no he definitely was thinking something inappropriate. "Okay, I am not going to disturb your studying. I brought a book too."

I took my book out of my bag and relaxed into the chair. It only took a few minutes in the blazing heat for me to strip off my sundress and layout in my bikini. Edward didn't outwardly gawk at me, but I did catch a few sideways glances my way. It didn't help my focus when he became too warm, and took off his own shirt.

We spent much of the afternoon together, but in our separate worlds, except when we were secretly checking out one another. Occasionally we'd talk but I tried to give him some quality study time. I busied myself with reading a book, flipping through magazines and texting with Alice and Rose. They were out in the Hamptons. Rosalie refused to spend any weekends in the city during the summer. She said only poor people and tourists choose to be in Manhattan in the summer. Sometimes she could be a real snob.

I hadn't had a chance to really speak with Alice in depth – she and Jasper were living together and lately the world had been centered on her. She hadn't even planned their annual barbeque, because she was so overwhelmed with her Alice drama. It was always something – the few times we had spoken the conversations centered around her issues – Jasper left the toilet seat up, she felt she always had to do things with his friends, her job was stressful. While I didn't have anything I wanted to share with her, it would have been nice for her to at least ask.

The sun started to go down and Edward went back to his apartment to get the hotdogs and everything for dinner. He refused to allow me to help him. When he returned, I knew better than to even ask to help with the grilling. Edward loved to grill and the small grill he had on the roof deck was only big enough for one person to man it. It reminded me of the summers back in Forks when the Cullenmans would host huge barbeques.

"Are you sure you don't want any help?" I asked, looking at the sides Edward had set on the table.

"You relax, I've got this."

I put my dress back on since it was getting too dark to read and I didn't want to be rude by talking on my phone. _I should apologize to him about my part in our breakup. I should do it now._

"Edward?" I asked, my voice trembling.

"Bella, I told you relax. I got this. Please let me do this for you."

I bit my lip. "No, I wanted to tell you something and it may piss you off, but I want to put it out there." He didn't respond, so I continued. "The breakup wasn't entirely your fault. I'm sorry for not hearing you out and for completely shutting you out after you tried to talk to me. I was really stubborn and I thought that you would stay around until I calmed down, but when I did calm down, you were gone. Edward, I had too much pride to find you and chase after you. You may have walked out on me after I said no to marrying you, but I walked away from trying to get us to work."

Edward put the tongs down next to the grill and walked over to me, but he still didn't say anything.

My eyes were tearing up from apologizing and from his lack of response. "Edward, I'm sorry. I will never walk away from you again."

His hand reached for my shoulder and pulled me closer to his bare chest. He smelled of sweat and sunshine. "Thank you," he murmured into my ear. I wanted to look up and maybe even kiss him, but I didn't and instead basked in his closeness.

**EPOV**

I was blown away by Bella's apology. She didn't have to do that, but she did. I wanted to kiss her and hold her all night, but the hotdogs were going to start to burn. So, after a few moments of having Bella close to me, I glanced at the smoking grill and realized I needed to pull away.

"I don't want dinner to burn." She nodded her head. "Why don't you run downstairs and grab the pitcher of sangria I have in the fridge?" An idle Bella was never a good thing.

She nodded her head and smiled before making her way down the steps. Her absence gave me plenty of time to put my shirt on, prepare the table, and set the food up. Besides hotdogs, I had several different types of salads and a variety of pickles.

Bella returned and we sat down in silence. Pouring the sangria into two plastic cups, not the classiest, but they held a lot, I knew I needed to say something. _Come on, Edward man up. _

"Bella, you didn't need to apologize like you did," I said between bites. "The past few weeks with you have been amazing. I feel like we have really connected again. I can't make any promises until after I finish with the bar exam, but I want us to try again."

"Edward, I want that too. I had forgotten how good it felt to laugh with your best friend. I don't ever want to forget how that feels."

"You won't, but I need you to be patient. This exam is a big deal and I know you understand that."

"I know it is. I've waited this long, three more weeks is nothing."

"I know we are comfortable with us, but why don't we ease our friends into it. How about I plan a post bar exam party at a bar? I will invite Emmett and let him know to bring his friends. We will have to come clean about our secret meetings, but I think it would be better if we do it then."

Bella sat there contemplating my proposition. "That sounds good. If they have a problem with us being together, then they obviously don't know us. Rosalie already suspects something is going on with me."

"Really?" How would Rosalie know about us?

"She doesn't know what is going on; she just knows I've been happier since that day in the bagel shop."

"I have been happier too. I had forgotten how spellbinding you can be."

She arched her eyebrow. "Spellbinding? Really?"

I didn't have a chance to answer. The fireworks display that Macy's sponsored started with a large boom, startling both of us.

"It's starting!" I cried. "Do you want to watch from the table or from the chaise loungers?"

"Oh! Let's watch from the chaise loungers." Bella lifted her cup of sangria and stood up. I followed her but noticed the goose bumps on her arms.

"Are you cold? I could get you a sweatshirt or a blanket."

"No, I don't want you to miss the fireworks," she exclaimed.

I moved in closer to her, putting my arms around her. I rubbed her arms and hoped my body heat would warm her up.

"Better?" I asked.

She nodded. I took her by the hand and led her toward my lounger. "Sit with me; I'll keep you warm."

I sat down first and she followed with her back to my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and she leaned back into me. Together we watched the fireworks against the iconic New York skyline. We oohed and awed together and as the final fireworks flashed in the sky, I brought my lips to her cheek. My lips didn't find her cheek, Bella had turned her head toward me and my lips instead were meant by hers.

Suddenly, the fireworks started all over again, expect this time they weren't in the sky.

**AN: People who review receive replies with teasers in them. Just saying, this isn't some Jewish mom guilt trip, but…**


	5. Chapter 5: Look to the Cookie

**AN: ****If you haven't read my story Eight Nights of Delights, this story may not make a ton of sense. I highly recommend you read the Eight Nights of Delights first (at least the first two chapters, but all the chapters have hints to this story).**

**Huge thanks to wheather79 for pre-reading and FanpireMama for beta-ing. SM owns the characters - I circumcised them, converted their names, forced them to eat my brisket, gave them matzo ball soup when they were sick, and then I made them feel guilty for making me do all of that. I tend to play up some stereotypes; it is all meant in good fun. If you are offended, let me know, or just hit the x button on your browser window.**

**Chapter 4: Look to the Cookie**

**BPOV**

"Ring. Ring, you stupid phone. Come on, ring," I begged the cell phone sitting next to me. Edward hadn't called in several days. I knew he was busy studying and I shouldn't expect him to call, but that didn't stop me for wanting him to call. I was becoming _**THAT**_ girl.

I needed to get out, but Rosalie and Alice were both at work, my friends I had made from teaching now were working summer jobs, and I had already become the outcast in that group. They always seemed to talk about the new curriculum for next year, which I wouldn't need to know. Besides, it was raining.

My parents had invited me to come out to Arizona for a few weeks, but Arizona in July? I would rather stay here in the rain. It wasn't like I wasn't used to the rain, I had grown up in Forks after all. I wanted to see Edward.

Huffing, I flew back and rammed my head down hard on the pillows of my bed. I thought back to a few weeks ago when we had kissed on the Fourth of July. It had started out slow and innocent, and then as I kissed him back there was a bit more intensity. I would have totally slept with him that night. It had been way too long since I have had sex with an actual man. However, we showed some restraint. I mean, if we had just hopped right from talking back to sex, then it would complicate things so much more. Right? Sex complicates things. Of course the last time we had gotten together, sex was the topping on a Hanukkah holiday sex-spree and that was losing our virginity to one another.

Fuck, I'm horny. Why won't he call? Only a few more days and the bar exam will be over and we will have to face our friends, our family, and a future. We couldn't just pick up right where we left off. I knew that, but it seemed so easy to slip into where we had been.

What to do? What to do? I reached for my remote and turned on the television and somehow I stopped on Fox News. It was almost as if Edward was in the room with me. There must be something about the ringing tone of the "Fox News Alerts" because within minutes my eyelids became heavy and I succumbed to the guilty pleasure of a nap on a rainy afternoon.

I woke up to the sound of my phone buzzing next to me. Looking at the screen, I saw that it was my mother. I would normally let it go straight to voicemail, but I was bored out of my mind.

I picked it up, reluctantly, "Hi, Mom."

"Bella! It is so good to hear your voice. How are you doing? What's new? You are never going to guess what your father and I did to today!" My mom was practically screaming into the phone.

"I'm…." I thought about it for a few seconds. I was actually in a good place, despite my crazy, psycho, when is he going to call, freak out. "Good. Actually things are really starting to look up. So, what did you and Dad do today?"

"Oh, not much, just sat by the pool. What's his name?" She responded quickly, wanting to get on the subject of a possible suitor.

"Whose name?"

"Bella, I'm your mother and I know when you sound that upbeat and that it's usually about a guy. You haven't sounded that good since college when you were with Edward. Oy! He was such a nice boy. I still don't understand what happened between the two of you. I mean, you explained it and all,but it made no sense. You loved him; he loved you, what was so complicated?"

"You know Mom; I am starting to think you are right on that – we did overcomplicate things. So this guy, I am not quite ready to share the details."

"Tell me one thing – is he Jewish? I read in the B'nai B'rith magazine that the intermarriage rate is at 51%; we're becoming extinct, Bella. It's up to your generation to carry on the faith. If he's not, at least raise the children Jewish. It would be such a shonda if my grandchildren told me they liked Christmas instead of Hanukkah. A shonda."

"He's Jewish, Mom, geez." Oy, this woman could be exhausting. I wasn't sure whether to look forward to or to loathe the day I broke the news that Edward and I were back together.

"Now, he was a Jew," Mom commented.

"Who?"

"Jesus."

"Goodbye, Mom!"

"Be safe, Bella."

Why did everyone always tell me to be safe? I wasn't that much of a walking disaster. Okay, maybe I was, but I was my own worst enemy. The phone rang again. I didn't even look at it; it was probably my mother again.

"What now?" I shouted into the phone.

"Bella?" It was Edward.

**EPOV**

The last advice the Barbri instructor had was to not study the night before the bar exam. She said to get out and do something that relaxes you and then proceeded to give examples like go out for a nice dinner, go to the movies, or go bowling.

All I could think about was blow jobs. In fact, for three weeks all I could think about was sex - of which blow jobs were a subsection. When I wasn't studying, sleeping or eating, I was spanking off to the thought of Bella. Bella naked, Bella fucking me, me fucking Bella, fucking Bella's tits, sucking Bella's tits, Bella giving me a blow job – sitting, standing, her on top, missionary. Sex, sex, sex. It was like I was a teenager all over again.

This wasn't good for studying for the bar exam. So, when it was suggest that we do something that relaxes us, it reminded me of college when Bella and I would study together. We would quiz each other with a game we called Strip Study Buddy. The rules were simple - if you got the answer right, the person asking the question would take off an article of clothing. Usually, it led to us having sex.

I couldn't ask her straight out. "Hey, Bella, I've got a lot of pent up energy. Would you mind dropping to your knees and sucking me off?" I had to think of something else. Maybe, I could invite her over to hang out and by hang out, I would secretly mean hang out with Zayin.

Shit! I realized I hadn't called her for a few days. Fuck, I hadn't even texted her. I'm such a shit. I could never ask her now. It was worth a try though so I called her up.

She picked up instantly, but sounded angry until she realized it was me.

"Who were you talking to before me?" I asked after she realized it was me.

"Oh, I thought you were my mother calling back to further annoy me. I had just about given up on you calling me," she explained. Even though, all she would have had to have said is "my mother" and I would understand. Seriously, I would understand. Luckily, my own mother was keeping her distance after being screamed at by my father. He could relate when he had taken his medical board exams eons ago. Her last comment wasn't lost on me either. _Fuck. I fucked up._

"I'm sorry. I should have called; it's just if I had stopped studying and talked to you – I would have messed up my whole concentration. There are times when I still pinch myself in disbelief that you are even talking to me let alone open to the possibility of…" I let my sentence hang. I hoped she could understand what I was trying to convey – that I was completely pussy whipped.

After a pregnant pause, she finally responded. "No, it's okay. I shouldn't have expected you to call me. You even forewarned me about how insane this whole bar exam is."

"I should have called." She didn't reply, so I changed the subject. "And how are Renee and Charlie doing?"

"Oh, living the high-life in Arizona with the rest of the retirees. So, are you ready for tomorrow?"

"What's tomorrow?" I joked.

"Edward! Come on, are you ready? Shouldn't you be cramming away?"

I took a deep breath. She had just given me the perfect lead in. "No, actually we were told to do anything but study. The Barbri people said to do something that relaxes us – you know like hang out with friends, see a movie, go for a walk."

"I see," she said quickly, but I could almost hear the gears of her brain churning with ideas.

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come over and hang out." _And by hanging out, I mean my cock and your tits._

"I won't be too much of a distraction?"

"Bella, get your ass over here. Your presence in my life automatically calms me down. You don't want me to get edgy, do you?"

"Wow, you really know how to woo a girl when you put it like that, but sure, I'll be right over."

After getting off the phone with Bella, I rushed around my apartment trying to straighten it up. I didn't know if we'd be using it, but just to be safe I changed the sheets on my bed, because I honestly couldn't remember the last time I had done so. I also made a point of making sure all my dirty underwear found its way to my hamper rather than the floor. _Mental note – once I start getting a paycheck, it's time to bring in a cleaning service. _

Just as I was checking myself out in the mirror, the doorbell rang.

Opening the door to Bella's smiling face and short skirt was the highlight of my day. Not only did she decide to show off her legs, but she was wearing a v-neck top that accentuated her boobs. To top it all off, she brought baked goods.

"So, in this neighborhood is this bakery and it has been there for like over 100 years. They have great black and white cookies," Bella held up one little white box tied up with string. "But they also have amazing brownies!" She held up another white box.

Bella and I had eaten black and white cookies before. Besides being racial harmony in the form of a cookie, they are one of those cookies that solidify being a couple. See, it worked out that Bella liked the chocolate part and I liked the vanilla part. It worked out perfectly for us to share a cookie together as it was always an even split for us.

We always worked out that way, always in balance. We made our way to my sofa and sat down, the baked goods in front of us on the coffee table.

"I was thinking, why don't we watch some old school Adam Sandler movies?" Bella suggested. I immediately thought back to our first time hanging out when we had watched _Don't Mess with the Zohan_.

"But, I could get steve," I joked, since Adam Sandler's poor Israeli accent had the word "stiff" sounding more like Steve.

"Steve? Who's Steve?" Bella replied, using a line from the movie.

We ended up watching the movie or we started to at least. Bella pulled out one of the cookies and broke off bite size pieces of the vanilla side and fed them to me. I moaned in delight.

"Is this relaxing for you?" she asked, popping a piece of the chocolate side into her mouth.

"I'm definitely starting to feel relaxed."

She moved her hand to my thigh. I looked over at her and she was biting her lip. Bella's lip biting always made me go insane and she knew this. "How about now? Does this help you relax?"

I didn't have to respond, because Zayin did. "I guess so," Bella said, moving her hand up further to the Promised Land.

Of course, I couldn't relax because I was worried about coming in my pants from just the sensation of her hand near Zayin. So I thought about Nancy Pelosi – naked. That always did it for me. Nancy and Eleanor Clift were my go-to thoughts to not blow my load. It had been forever since I had thought of them.

Bella's fingers traced the outline of my cock through my jeans and then slowly made their way up to the button and then the zipper.

"Bella, you don't have to…" I started to say. _Oh, but I so want you to._

"I want to."

I slid out of my jeans, throwing them on the floor. Bella went digging into my boxer briefs until she found her prize. She lifted the waistband down and pulled out a very erect and very happy Zayin. She slid down on the couch so that she was lying on her stomach, her face directly over my crotch.

"Hi, Zayin. It's been so long. How are you doing? I've missed you. My, you have grown."

I looked down to see Bella with Zayin in hand. She was talking to my cock. My girl was talking to my cock. I quickly glanced toward my bedroom and looked at my top bureau drawer where I kept her ring. It would be hers one day. No other girl would ever talk to my cock like that; it was purely Bella. She was like no one else.

Her warm wet lips wrapped fully around my shaft as her entire mouth engulfed me. I heard the faintest sound of gagging. _Deep throat. _What had I done to deserve this? I didn't at all. I shouldn't be the only one having fun.

"Sit on my face," I moaned.

Bella pulled out of my mouth and looked up. "What?" she asked.

"You heard me, sit on my face."

She licked her lips and then brushed them across Zayin's tip. "No, tonight is about getting you to relax. Just lay back and enjoy." She pushed my chest with her fingers so I reclined further on the couch.

_Well, if you insist. _I took another glance at that bureau drawer before closing my eyes and enjoying the ride.

I didn't last long, because even thoughts of socialist reform sweeping America couldn't distract me enough from the pleasure I was experiencing. True to her nature, Bella swallowed.

"Wow. It's good to know you haven't lost your touch. Let me get you something to drink," I offered, scooting off the couch.

"Water would be great or Diet Coke if you have it," Bella replied. "It was like riding a bike."

"What was?" I walked back in carrying a glass of ice water for her. New York City tap water – nothing but the best.

"Giving head – let's just say it's been a while."

My heart floated on air as I thought how neither Bella nor I had really found anyone to replace one another. It just further solidified my argument that we were meant to be. I think she knew it too.

**BPOV**

I wasn't sure what had come over me at Edward's. I had this overwhelming desire to relax him and I knew that a really good blow job would do the trick. I just hoped it didn't distract him too much tomorrow. My mouth hadn't been on a cock in a long time, but luckily I hadn't lost my touch.

We cuddled through the rest of the movie and even kissed a little bit. It was like we were in a bubble though, and I knew once we went public, we were bound to face some resistance. We had both tortured our friends and family for three years. I expected them to be skeptical at us making another go at it. I sure was and I continued to be, despite how smoothly things were between us.

When the movie was over, I knew it was time for me to leave. Edward needed a good night's rest and my presence wouldn't bring that.

"Okay," I yawned and put my shoes on, "I'm going to head back home."

"You're not walking at this hour of the night, are you?"

"Edward, it's not that far and it's not that late. Besides, it's a Monday night – I'll be fine. I've lived in this city long enough. This isn't exactly a rough neighborhood."

"Well, if it's not that far then you are fine with me walking you there."

"You need your rest. Really I'll be fine," I insisted.

"Let me walk you. Some fresh air will be good for me and I'm not exactly tired yet either. I'd rather spend the time with you then staring at my ceiling, trying to count sheep." He was making a wonderful argument.

"Fine."

Our walk back to my apartment building was fairly quiet and uneventful, except that we held hands the entire way there. I couldn't remember the last time I had walked down a street holding someone's hand and it was sweet.

"Edward, it's going to be fine. You are going to do great on this test. Remember how nervous you were for the LSATs? What happened? You scored a 168. You will be brilliant tomorrow."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, love."

Did he just call me "love"? My heart started to flutter. Was this moving too fast? What would happen when he went to work and I started school? Sure, it was easy now when I could mold my schedule to fit his needs, but what would happen when things started to get real?

We stopped in front of my building. "This is me."

"That's a great building. I'm glad you have a doorman."

"Rosalie is very generous, but I figure it will be great not to have a huge rent during school." I turned so that we were facing one another, setting him up to kiss me. I think if this was some romantic comedy or a television show, this would be the point in the night where I'd invite him up for coffee, but I think that is a cheesy line.

"Bella, thank you for tonight. It really helped take my mind off the bar exam."

"You're welcome. Umm, if you aren't too tired, call me and tell me how tomorrow goes. If not, call me when you recover on Thursday."

"I will probably be drained and pass out, but I'll try. Hearing your voice tomorrow night may be just what I need to refresh myself for Wednesday's portion of the exam."

I smiled hearing that. It was comforting that our feelings for one another appeared to be the same. "I should head up, so you can get to bed," I said, trying to gracefully say goodnight.

Edward glanced up at my building and then looked back at me. "I should get into bed."

Part of me wanted to ask him to come up and stay the night, but there were so many things wrong with even thinking of doing that. First, he had his bar exam tomorrow. Second, Rosalie was probably up there waiting to pounce on me with questions. Third, it was too soon. Sure, oral sex is part of sex but it isn't completely sex, sex. It just wasn't the same.

"Good luck tomorrow." I leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. He placed his hand on the small of my back and pulled me in closer, deepening the kiss.

"I don't need luck. I have you. Goodnight, Bella," Edward replied, as he walked away.

Once inside my apartment, I let out a deep sigh.

"The jig is up, where have you been?" Rosalie asked.

"Gah!" I turned and saw her sitting on the couch, her face covered in some type of mud mask. "Out with some of my teacher friends." I could spout off their names, but Rosalie never paid much attention to them.

"Come sit down. We need to talk," she said, patting the cushion next to her. I plopped down and waited for the other shoe to drop. No one uses that phrase with good news.

"Emmett got invited to Edward's post bar exam celebration at some bar on 2nd Avenue on Thursday night. He is brining Jasper along. I think we should have a girl's night with Alice and crash his party. I'm curious what would happen if you two wind up in the same room together. "

"Umm…." Fuck. "Okay." I wasn't sure what else to say, but I knew I would need to talk to Edward about how we were going to approach this. My friends had been very supportive of me and I wasn't sure how they were going to take to Edward being back in my life. This was going to take some serious acting skills from both of us. _And the Oscar goes to…_

**AN: **

**Shonda:Yiddish for a shame or a shameful act**

**People who review receive replies with teasers in them. Just saying, this isn't some Jewish mom guilt trip, but…**


	6. Chapter 6:That's Zayin A Lot

**AN: Huge thanks to wheather79 for pre-reading and FanpireMama for beta-ing. SM owns the characters - I circumcised them, converted their names, forced them to eat my brisket, gave them matzo ball soup when they were sick, sent them to Hebrew School, and then I made them feel guilty for making me do all of that. I tend to play up some stereotypes; it is all meant in good fun. If you are offended, let me know, or just hit the x button on your browser window.**

**Chapter 5: That's Zayin A Lot**

**BPOV**

I think I may have been just as stressed out as Edward was. It didn't help that he hadn't called on Tuesday night. I had hoped he would, but he didn't, which was fine. He was probably exhausted and passed out. He had another day of the bar exam the following day, so I understood his exhaustion. He didn't call on Wednesday either, so instead of being a whiny bitch, I texted him, but he didn't respond either. He had probably passed out then too.

On Thursday morning, I awoke to find a text message waiting for me.

_**Call me when you wake up – XOXO Edward**_

Hmm… do I call him immediately, or do I let him sweat it out a bit? I hated playing games, but I had started to feel like I had made myself too available to Edward. Maybe I was putting myself out there too much? So, I didn't call him and showered instead and then I ate breakfast and didn't call him. I didn't call him after I got dressed or put on my makeup. Then my mom called and it disrupted my train of thought. She seemed to call a lot now that she knew I wasn't working. I probably shouldn't always pick up, but I always felt guilty if I let it go to voicemail. What if something had happened and I didn't pick up the phone?

"Mom! What's going on?"

"Same old, same old. Pool, canasta club, your father is at a B'nai B'rith Lodge meeting. I started knitting, again. Do you want me to make you a scarf? What colors?"

"Mom, it's July. I have no idea – I don't even want to have to think about scarves and cold weather yet."

"Fine. Fine. Oh, guess who I spoke with yesterday?"

"I don't know – Nanny?"

"No, Esme Cullenman."

"What?" Oh goodness, do the Cullenmans know? Did Esme tell my mother about us? Oy!

"Yes, well I didn't want to say anything after you and Edward had broken up, but Esme and I email all the time and we talk on the phone on occasion. She and I have been friends for a long time, sweetheart. Just because things didn't work out between you and Edward didn't change that. I just figured you were better off not knowing. Besides, we rarely talk about you kids. She keeps me apprised of the latest Forks gossip. Like did you know Miriam Whitlosky had to pay a fortune to ship out her mother's ring to her son? Don't say anything to Alice about that, by the way."

"Jasper is going to propose? That's wonderful." Of course, those two seriously needed to go to therapy first, but they seemed to be happy together, most of the time.

"How is that mystery boy you are dating?"

"He's good. I think, but he's been busy with work stuff, but things with him are going well."

"Well, then I will tell you what else I heard from Esme. Edward is living in New York City," she paused waiting to hear the shock and disbelief.

No time like the present to start acting. "Oh! I can't believe he's living in the same city as me."

"Not only that, but he lives a few blocks from you. He's met someone, Bella. Esme told me he thinks she's the one."

Oh my goodness, this was comical. If I didn't know any better, which I did, but if I didn't and this was some formulaic sitcom, then I would jump to the conclusion that Edward was seeing someone else on the side and she was the one his mother was referring to. She wasn't though, it was me. Edward was already vocalizing his intentions to his parents.

This didn't surprise me. Esme and Carlisle Cullenman had encouraged and then paid for us to lose our virginity. It was so contrived that we not drive back and forth between Forks and Port Angeles two days in a row, so instead, they put us up in a hotel.

"Good for him. Edward is quite the catch. I'm sure she's a lovely girl," I choked up, trying not to giggle.

"That's very mature of you." Or it's me.

All this talk about Edward made me want to talk to him. I wanted to know how he had done. I was a little mad at myself for not calling him as soon as I woke up.

"Mom, I have a ton of pre-reading to do for Stern. So, I'll talk to you later," I lied.

I quickly hung up my phone and glanced at the clock. It was closer to noon when I did finally get around to calling him. _I suck._

He picked up on the first ring; it was so Edward. "Hey, how'd it go?" I asked with maybe a tad bit too much enthusiasm.

"Hey, beautiful. I've missed the sound of your voice."

Oh, really? Why didn't you call? Oh, yeah, you were too busy telling your parents I was the one.

"So…"

"I honestly have no idea how I did. It is like a blur now. It just wiped me out completely and that is why I didn't call. I could barely talk by the end of the day yesterday. How's your week going?"

"I spoke to my mom this morning. Did you know she still talks to your mom quite a bit?"

"I knew that they emailed but they rarely talked about us, because my mom never passed on any information about you. Why?"

"Well, your mom told my mom that you told your parents that you met someone. Do they know about us?"

"Yeah, they do. They knew you were a driving factor in my decision to move to New York. Why?"

"Okay, well, my parents don't know about us yet. Oh, and that the other thing – you're little celebration tonight…"

"How'd you know? I had invited Emmett and asked him to bring Jasper along. I was going to see if you wanted to stop in as well."

"Rosalie told me."

"Oh, so, do you want to come?"

"See, that's the thing. The girls and I were going to go and sort of crash, but I have an idea that could slowly introduce our friends to the idea of us together." I then proceeded to tell Edward the elaborate scheme I had thought up.

**EPOV**

I arrived at the bar early and secured a table. I gave the waitress my credit card to open a tab for the whole table. Sure, it probably would be an expensive night, but if it meant Bella was more comfortable in our relationship because we were outed, then it was worth it.

It wasn't difficult to recognize Emmett and Jasper as they walked through into the door. Neither of them had changed that much since I had last seen them in college. Of course, we had all filled out a bit. Emmett was sporting a little extra weight, but Jasper was still the bean pole he had always been. Not that I could talk, I had put on a few extra pounds – my six-pack was now more of a four pack and quickly turning into a two liter. Long hours in the library seemed to do that to me. At least it wasn't a keg or anything.

"Edward, hey man! How are you?" Emmett called, as we clasped hands and patted one another on the back in the ubiquitous man-hug.

"Good."

"You remember Jasper, right?" Emmett gestured to Jasper who had hung back a bit.

"Yeah, of course." I stuck my hand out and did the same with him. "Guys, I've got a table. What are you drinking?"

"Sam Adams?" Emmett answered and Jasper nodded and shrugged.

I flagged down the waitress and placed the order. "So, how have you guys been?"

Jasper shook his head, "Dude, this is so trippy. I swear Alice would kill me if she knew where I was." I fought the urge to smile, since I knew she did know where he was.

Biting my fist to keep from laughing, I replied, "Why would she be pissed?"

"Alice hates you. First, you proposed before I did. Then you broke Bella's heart. When Alice and I moved to New York after we graduated, I had no idea we would be babysitting Bella. I mean, it's Isabella Swanstein, kosher drill sergeant. She was a shell of the person she was and now is; you broke her man. Her college friends were morons telling her to cut you out, but she listened to them and when she stopped listening, she felt it was too late."

"Okay." I took a big gulp of beer and set the bottle back down on the worn-table, nervously playing with the label. I looked up at Emmett.

"Sorry, dude, Alice does hate you. Rosalie, on the other hand, doesn't. She hates Bella's college friends – she calls them the Branditzes."

My beer came shooting out of my mouth; that was such a great nickname. Why hadn't I thought of that?

"Edward, we're cool though, it's in the past. So, you're a lawyer now?"

"Yeah, well almost. I finished law school and I just took the bar exam. What about you guys?"

"I work in IT. I could elaborate, but most people just tune it out," Jasper said. He was still as cool as he was in high school, nothing ever fazed him. Well, except little Alice Brandonberg. I still couldn't believe that such a high-strung, clothes obsessed, little thing and this overgrown Phish-fan could get along, let alone be together, but they had been making it work.

"NFL – I'm an analyst," Emmett said quickly.

"You get tickets to games?" I asked.

Jasper shook his head disapprovingly.

"Everyone always asks me that – occasionally I do but it's rare. Sorry, everyone asks me that question. It gets annoying."

"No, man, it's cool," I said, and then out of the corner of my eye I saw Bella, Rosalie and Alice saunter in. I quickly made sure I wasn't looking at them as they moved up to the bar to get drinks.

The guys and I caught up. It was cool to spend time with them again. I hadn't really talked with them since before Bella and I had broken up – it must have been spring break.

A couple of my law school friends who had also moved to New York joined us at the table. The conversation was first focused on introducing my past to my present. It was pretty clear that neither group wanted much to do with the other group. I tried to steer the conversation toward neutral subjects like movies and such, but it was just awkward.

It didn't help that I was distracted, waiting to see when Bella would walk over. And then she did – while the guys were discussing which was a better Matt Stone/Trey Parker movie – _Orgasmo_, _BASEketball_, or _Team America, World Police_. I had to admit it was a rough debate – a Mormon in pornos or puppets espousing the greatness that is the United States.

I wanted to jump from my seat and run to her, but I knew I had to stick to the plan. Instead of running to her and putting my mouth on hers and marking her as mine for everyone in this generic neighborhood pub to see, I sat in my seat and feigned interest in the conversation between these two factions of friends.

Just on cue, Bella passed by. I wanted to turn my head, but I didn't. Well, my head didn't but my eyes couldn't help but follow that ass.

My buddy Benjamin, who I had met as a 1L and was my go-to guy for study groups, bumped my arm with his elbow. "That chick has got the perkiest ass I have ever seen."

Benjamin must die. No seriously, I would kill him. I clenched the bottom of my chair, trying to hide my rage.

Bella slowly walked back to her spot by the bar. On her walk back, she did a double take and our eyes met. That was my cue.

A few minutes later she returned, flanked with Rosalie and Alice by her sides, her hands on her hips. Damn, her tits looked good in that dress.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Edward Cullenman. What are you doing here?" she cried, trying to sound angry and disgusted. I had to remind myself to look at her face, but I really wanted to bury myself into her tits and motorboat those bad boys! _Focus, Edward; there will be time for motor boating later._

I cleared my throat. "Bella, I have spent the last three years thinking about you. Knowing that you were here and I was not killed me; please give me a chance to just talk to you."

I turned away from her to observe the looks on our friends' faces. My law school friends were gawking at Bella, they had often questioned if she has been real. Emmett and Jasper were trying to avoid eye contact with their significant others.

"Jasper," Alice hissed, "What are you doing here? We are Team Bella. We'll talk about this at home, come on now." She didn't stop there, though. She turned toward Bella, "Don't go with him. He doesn't deserve your time. He walked away from you."

Bella sighed. Rosalie rubbed her back to comfort her. "He may have walked away, but when he tried to come back, I turned away from him. I owe him a chance. There are no teams, this is for Edward and I to discuss."

I stood up from my seat and followed her into the back room where the pool tables were kept. It was private enough that no one could see us. The room was empty, so Bella sat on the edge of one of the tables and I moved in and stood between her legs. Her legs wrapped around me and pulled me closer.

"Blah, blah, blah…," she said.

"Womp, womp, womp," I replied, arching my eyebrow and emulating the teacher from _Charlie Brown. _

"Shut up and kiss me," she commanded and I quickly complied.

Her lips tasted like cranberries and vodka. I wrapped my hands behind her head and tried to get her closer. It wasn't enough. It was never enough.

**BPOV**

The plan was working. I knew Alice would be the biggest issue, but she was a very loyal friend and in her eyes she was being just that – loyal. Rosalie knew that if I ever had a chance to run into Edward again all bets were off.

Oy vey! Edward was reducing me to a puddle in his arms. It had only been two full days since we had last kissed, but that had already seemed like two days too long.

_Should we have sex? Is it too soon? Ugh, it had been too long since I had something that wasn't made in China inside of me. Ugh, he wanted to take it slow, but we both really needed a good fuck. We're on the same page and I trust him. What more did we need?_

"Oh, my gawd!" a shrill voice shouted. We stopped our make-out session and turned to see Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett all standing in the doorway of the billiards room.

"That was fast. Really? We give you two ten minutes and you're swapping spit?" Alice asked, but she didn't stop there. "For three years, I have listened to you go on and on about how awful Edward was to walk out on you, and then tonight you finally admit that you were partly to blame, too? Then voila, you two are back together? This makes no sense, Bella. Do you know what you put me through? "

Where did Alice get off?

"Bella, Jasper and I have been stalling our relationship because I was worried about hurting you."

Jasper turned to Alice, "We have?"

"Shut up."

Shit. Now Jasper was going to have to deal with Mega-Bitch Alice. "Okay, okay… the truth is Edward and I ran into one another weeks ago. We wanted a few weeks to talk and figure us out," I explained.

"We needed to work on rebuilding our trust between ourselves without anyone else intervening. I know I can speak for Bella by saying that she wanted to tell you so many times, but we both made the decision to hold off until I finished the bar exam. I must say to all of you – thank you. Thank you for being there for Bella the past few years," Edward interjected.

I looked over at Edward; yup I'm definitely having sex with him tonight. He just sealed the deal and probably didn't even know it.

"You still lied. Come on, Jasper. We're leaving," Alice snapped, pivoting out of the room.

"She'll calm down. I've got some killer stuff at home that will chill her out. If you two are happy – it's cool," Jasper said, following Alice out.

Rosalie and Emmett had both been quiet during Alice's temper tantrum.

Rosalie's face was deep in thought. "You lied to me. We're best friends and you've been lying for the past few weeks?"

"Rose, you know why I did it," I tried to explain. "I'm sorry."

Emmett looked down and didn't say anything. "I don't know, man. You just better not hurt her and you," he pointed at me, "better be good to him too. Alice isn't wrong; we put up with you for three years whining and complaining – get your shit together and spare us all the drama. Come on, Rose."

I had a feeling it was better to give Rosalie her space. She was supposed to go out to the Hamptons tomorrow so maybe a few days away would be a good thing.

Edward and I didn't say anything at first. _Awkward._

"Wow! We really know how to clear a room!" he exclaimed.

I snickered and then stiffened up. Alice would be upset and call her mom, her mom would call my mom, and I would never hear the end of it.

"Shit, I have to call my parents and clue them in – word travels fast."

"You stay here – I am going to see if my law school buddies are still out there or if they were sufficiently scared off."

Edward left me in the backroom and I pulled out my cell phone. I took my time dialing the numbers, afraid of the wrath that would be on the other end.

"Bella, what's wrong, it has to be late there. Why are you calling so late?" My mother cried quickly, answering within a single ring. They should really get a dog or something.

"No, it's not bad. In fact, it's good news, Mom. You know how you told me about Edward Cullenman seeing someone else?"

"Yeah, so what does that have to do with you, baby? I don't understand. Do I need to get your father? He's watching the Golf Channel. Charlie, Charlie, Charlie! Bella's on the phone. Don't you want to talk to your daughter? She says she has good news for us."

"Mom, please don't scream into the phone. You know there is this button called hold and you can use it…" It was no use; she'd never learn.

"Bella?" My father's voice said over the phone. He sounded annoyed.

"Hi, Dad. Okay so now that I have you both on the line… Edward Cullenman and I are back together!" I stated quickly.

"What? What?" My mother asked. This could have the potential to be a long, drawn out conversation. Edward had returned and was standing in the doorway waiting for me, listening.

"Crrr…crrr… Oh, Mom, looks like my reception just went down a few bars. I'll call you in the morning we'll talk." I hit the end key on my phone and turned it off.

"You know she's going to call my mom."

"Oh, yeah."

"You know they are going to be plotting out the rest of our lives."

"Let 'em. Only two people are calling the shots in this relationship – you and me."

"Three," Edward corrected.

"Three?"

"You, me, and Zayin."

"Oh, I forgot about him."

"That's okay, he didn't forget about you – let's go back to my place. Zayin has a few decisions already made for the rest of our night."

**I tease in my review responses. Not saying you should review, but just putting **_**that **_** out there. Thanks to those who have recommended this story.**


	7. Chapter 7: Better When It's Wetter

**AN: Sorry this chapter was a little late in getting out. I developed an awful stomach bug and then had a hard time writing this week. Huge thanks to wheather79 for pre-reading and FanpireMama for being my beta, and for JadedandBoring to stepping up to beta this chapter. SM owns the characters - I circumcised them, converted their names, forced them to eat my brisket, gave them matzo ball soup when they were sick, sent them to Hebrew School, shipped them to Florida to see their grandparents in Palm Beach County, and then I made them feel guilty for making me do all of that. I tend to play up some stereotypes; it is all meant in good fun. If you are offended, let me know, or just hit the x button on your browser window.**

Chapter 6: Better When it's Wetter

**EPOV**

Neither of us let the drama of the big reveal ruin the rest of our night. I personally think that Alice Brandonberg is still a bit of a drama queen, but I guess people don't change that much over the years. Nope, we were not letting it ruin our night. We walked back to my apartment hand-in-hand, both of us sporadically squeezing the other in anticipation. With each reassuring squeeze, Zayin was awoken from his flaccid slumber.

The empty elevator only led to more groping, and by the time we stepped off onto my floor, my shirt was untucked and my pants were unzipped. Bella couldn't keep her hands off of me. It was awesome. I stumbled around trying to find my keys and then dropped them as I jingled them in the lock. I flung the door open and stepped inside, turning on the lights. Bella followed suit, closing the door behind her.

I turned around to tell her something, when I saw her – wearing only her panties. I almost jizzed right there. I opened and closed my mouth several times, my eyes darting back and forth between her face, the curves on her body, and her dress, which lay in a pool on the floor.

"Make love to me," Bella commanded. Her voice was soft but firm. She walked over to me and began to slowly remove my shirt from my shoulders. We danced our way back into my bedroom, kissing exploring, stopping only for me to step out of my pants that had gathered around my ankles. Thankfully, I wasn't wearing socks, because black socks and underwear reminded me too much of my father drinking coffee in the morning at the kitchen table.

Zayin was raring to go. Bella stepped back from me and hooked her fingers into her panties, which were really cute on her, frilly and all. She slid them down her slim legs, and then kicked them over to the other side of the room. She then climbed up onto my bed and made herself at home on the right side. It was the side she always claimed as her own. I stood there admiring her now completely naked body on my bed. Things were so familiar, yet still so new.

"_Dude, you have Bella naked in bed, begging to be fucked. Why are you standing there?" Zayin asked me._

Silent, Bella beckoned me to join her with her finger.

I climbed up on top of her, and moved so that I was straddling her body, my weight resting on my bent knees. "See, I can make you come with just my little finger," she said with smirk.

"You don't even need to use your finger to make me come, baby. You. All I need is you," I replied into her ear. My tongue slowly circled her lobe as she let out a gasp and bucked her hips against the fabric of my boxer briefs.

My tongue moved down her neck to her collarbone. My fingers circled her nipples. She moaned, her hands gravitating to Zayin. Her fingers moved upward to the elastic waistband of my underwear and slowly started to work them down.

Impatiently, I pulled my attention away from kissing her to free Zayin from his Calvin Klein-branded prison. We were both naked and I slid my legs down and lowered my face back down to hers. Our mouths met as she wrapped her legs around me, pulling me closer to her wet pussy. She was dripping wet – for me.

"Please," she pleaded between kisses, taking my cock in her hand and dragging it along her wet entrance. I wanted to push in, but we had always used condoms.

"Let me…" I didn't need to finish as I rolled over to my side and pulled open the nightstand drawer. I fumbled around until I located the Costco-size box of condoms and pulled out one of those turquoise squares. I tore it open only to find it dried up.

"What the…" I cried. Bella rolled over and looked at me. Flipping on the light, I examined the package. "Shit, they're expired," I explained. It dawned on me that this was the box I had bought for our last semester of college. It had remained untouched for most of law school. Well, except for that one time…

"Shit. Shit. Shit," Bella repeated, shaking her head. "I went off the pill a while ago. I wasn't dating anyone and well, it was making my face breakout and the hormones made me crazy," she explained.

"I could run down to Duane Reade or something – I think there is a 24-hour one open on 86th Street," I offered, flipping the light off, sliding back down onto the bed, and turning back toward Bella while I waited for her answer. I really didn't want to run out, but I would. Anything for her.

Bella bit her lip like she was contemplating something and leaned back against the pillows. Taking a deep breath, she let out a sigh. "This is going to kill the mood, but I'm clean. I was tested at my last appointment with my ob/gyn."

Just the words "ob/gyn" made Zayin retreat a tad.

"Did you have a reason to not be clean?" I should have just asked her point blank how many guys she had fucked when we were broken up, but I was trying to be a gentleman.

"I went through a period, albeit brief, where I sort of slept around. I kept searching and searching, but what I was looking for wasn't out there. They weren't you, Edward. Now, what about you? Are you clean?"

I wanted to demand she tell me every single of one of their names so that I could hunt them down. I wanted to be angry, but I knew deep down inside that I had no right to be.

"There was one girl. She was the anti-Bella. Everything you are, she was not, and that included being a goddess. We went out a couple of times and slept together once. It made me realize that I couldn't ever just forget about or let you go."

Shit, I made her cry. Tears drops rolled down her cheeks and fell onto her pert nipples.

"Baby, I didn't mean to make you cry," I said, wiping her tears on her cheeks with my fingers. "We don't have to – well, you know…we could cuddle?" I suggested. Zayin was calling me a pussy.

"I want you, Edward." Bella curled her leg over mine and drew herself closer to me and my semi-flaccid cock. The heat radiating from her pussy was making me hard again, but should I be? She was crying; it seemed wrong. _Pussy! _

"I am tired of thinking," Bella continued between kisses, caressing my arm with her fingers. "I over-think and over-analyze everything. Let's just be – us – in the moment. Now." Her mouth traveled up to my lips as she climbed on top of me and brought herself down on me.

She was so warm and she felt so tight. _Don't come. Don't come. Nancy Pelosi, Michelle Obama, Ariana Huffington, Hilary Clinton. _I went through my reel of Democratic women, picturing them in bikinis. My mouth tried to move to offer to run out to get condoms again, but the feeling of Bella against me bare was un-fucking-believable.

**BPOV**

I was never one to make a rash decision, so while it seemed rash to jump onto Edward and ride his cock bareback, it wasn't. I was due for my period in a few days and since going off the pill I could totally tell when I was ovulating. Gross, right? The chance of Edward impregnating me was very slim. It felt so good sliding up and down on his cock. I loved watching his face as I made him come.

After he had told me that he hadn't had sex in a long time, my expectation lowered greatly. Reality surely did meet my expectations, when I rode him up and down a few times and I felt him quiver.

"I'm so sorry, baby," he replied breathlessly. "It's just been a while. Why don't I make it up to you? Let me clean up and then I will take care of you."

"We could just wait and go again in a little bit?" I suggested.

"Bells, I'm not 22 anymore. You sort of got me peaking," he said sheepishly. "Oh, but from what I have read you won't peak for a couple of more years…"

Oh, so that is why there are cougars. That explains it. I rolled over as Edward sopped up his spooge with a handful of tissues. Why did sex have to be so messy?

I leaned back against Edward's wrought-iron headboard – it was that one from IKEA, like most things in his apartment, heck like most things in anyone under 40's apartment who lived in New York, and waited for him to worship me. Yeah, that sounded horrible, but he's gotten his – twice now and all I have gotten is a lot of sticky sperm in and around my body.

"Now, where were we?" Edward asked as he started from my toes and began to kiss his way up my body. I expected him to stop and pay attention to my clitoris, but he graced by it. I coughed a little to get his attention. "You okay?"

"I thought you were going to go down on me?"

"Will you just sit back and enjoy?"

I complied as his lips continued to make their way up my body. He took turns licking, flicking and sucking each of my nipples. He palmed my breasts with his strong hands. His lips rarely left my body, always discovering a new inch to kiss. Slowly, he slid one hand off my breast and trailed his fingers south until they reached the wet pool that had formed between my legs. His index finger began to slowly trace circles on my clit, causing me to buck my hips.

"More," I moaned. He swapped his thumb for his finger and pushed two fingers inside. He pumped and I bucked, but I wanted more. Why couldn't he be hard again and make me come? Boo, I missed pre-law Edward.

"Awwh!" I don't know what he just did down there, but a wave of emotion overpowered me as I bucked my hips, making my toes curl and my release come.

I couldn't stop smiling, but I also couldn't keep my eyes open. I had forgotten about Edward's magic fingers. Everything about him was so wonderful. I curled up around him and rested my head on his chest. My fingers played with the patches of hair he had. Edward wrapped his arms around me and kissed my keppie.

"I'll be ready to go again in the morning. Do you want a t-shirt to sleep in?" he asked.

"Naked. It'll be easier for me to seduce you in the morning," I replied.

"You want to get under the sheets to sleep?"

"I suppose that would be a good idea."

After we were under the covers, we resumed our cuddle positions.

* * *

We spent the next day in Edward's bed, reconnecting physically. Edward's morning wood woke me up and I took another ride on Zayin. In fact, we spent the entire weekend inside Edward's apartment. It turned out to be one of those wretched weekends with torrential summer downpours. So, we bunkered down in Edward's apartment and didn't even leave to go out to eat – thank goodness for takeout!

We never did run out to get condoms. We probably could have gotten those delivered too, but nonetheless I wasn't worried. Though, I was internally debating whether or not to go back on to the pill. I sort of lied to Edward when I said it made my face breakout. It did that, but it also sort of made me a raging bitch and I almost got arrested for attacking a saleslady on the shoe floor at Saks Fifth Avenue.

Alice had dragged me down there because she wanted to shop on the shoe floor that had its own zip code. I couldn't even afford one of the free pedis that they gave away to try on shoes there, but I figured it would be fun just to try on. Well, some bitchy saleslady made a snide remark about my lack of a designer purse and I sort of went ape-shit. I had a cramp. She just was snarky at the wrong time.

Condoms. Edward would have to get condoms. Maybe we could go to the new Costco in Harlem, I think they deliver. We both had the next two weeks free and then I started business school. Where had this summer gone?

"Are you ready?" Edward asked. We were cuddling on his couch, both of us with our cell phones in hand. We were synchronizing turning them on.

"Ready! On the count of three – one, two…" I winced, "three!"

"Ha-ha! I've got 25 missed calls, fifteen voicemails, and almost double the number of text messages," Edward boasted.

"Chump change. Fifty-eight missed calls; my voicemail is full, and sixty-three texts."

"Impressive, but between Alice and your mother it's not that impressive."

We started listening to our voicemails; the first couple of messages were from my mom. She started out confused and then angry, not that Edward and I were back together, but that I wasn't picking up my phone.

Alice also called a lot to apologize and later on in the weekend she called to find out if I wanted to go shopping. I had forgotten she had wanted to go to the Barney's Warehouse sale – again. She goes multiple times. I find it really gross, because there are no dressing rooms and you have to like practically strip in public to try on clothes.

"Alice apologized," I say in a very blasé manner.

"Really? Do elaborate… Oh, by the way, my mother has found a fabulous band for our wedding."

"Wait, what? Our what?" I was dumbfounded.

"She's crazy. Forget I even mentioned it," Edward replied, shaking his head, but his eyes were on me trying to gauge my reaction.

"Yeah, so Alice was all like – oh, Bella I'm sorry for being so bitchy tonight. She's actually really happy for us. She said she was stressed out with Jasper and work. I don't know. She can be such a drama queen. I know she really wants Jasper to propose soon, but she is really going to be a bridezilla. I swear she is going to turn me off from the entire idea of marriage or make me want to elope."

Edward coughed. "You want to get married?" he asked like he wasn't sure if I even wanted to get married.

"Yes, I want to get married. I've only been able to picture myself marrying you, but school has to come first. Business school is tough enough as it is let alone throwing wedding planning on top of it." Not that I expected Edward to propose right then and there, nor did I want him to. Lately, however when I pictured my future, he was in it.

"We'll figure it out, baby. We'll figure it out," Edward replied, shaking his head and staring out at his bedroom.

Well, duh. It wasn't like we were running down to Atlantic City to get hitched or flying out to Vegas. Do they have rabbis who dress like Elvis out there? I made a mental note to Google that later when I was home. Home. Rose. Shit.

"Rose never called. She was probably stewing over everything when she was being all fabulous out in the Hamptons. I should get home; make her cookies or something to win back her love."

"Emmett called me – he gave me the heads up that she's been pretty distant all weekend."

"Shit. I better pick up some ice cream too. Oooh! Idea – I'll make homemade ice cream sandwiches with the cookies and her favorite ice cream."

"Hey – " Edward started to say. He was going to get all pouty that I wasn't going to make him any ice cream sandwiches.

"I will make you some later this week. Besides, Rose likes mint chocolate chip ice cream." Edward crinkled his nose. He could be such a baby.

* * *

I had just enough time to get the sandwiches in the freezer before Rose walked in, bags in tow, looking tan and fabulous, but none too happy.

"You," she declared, pointing a finger at me. "You were the reason I had a lousy time this weekend and not the intermittent rainstorms we kept having. I kept thinking about you and all of your lies. It really pissed me off." I opened my mouth to say something, but she put a finger in front of my face. "Wait, and then I thought about how miserable you have been without Edward and how much I wished you would grow a pair of balls and just contact him for the past three years and I couldn't help but be relieved. "

Rose, who has never been much of a touchy-feely type of person, threw her arms around me in a hug. "By the way, I made Alice apologize to you over the phone."

"Thanks for that. She's such a drama queen."

"Ugh, I know. She's on pins and needles waiting for Jasper to propose and he knows it. He is going to keep postponing the more she keeps asking when he's going to propose and then he's only going to do it after she stops asking."

"Shut up. Does he know he's also torturing us?" I asked.

"He told me to tell you, he said he'll fix your computer the next time it crashes."

"Thinking of making amends, I made you double fudge cookie ice cream sandwiches with mint chocolate chip ice cream."

Rose's eyes got bigger. "You,bitch, you're trying to get me fat!" She said cried jokingly.

I shrugged and proceeded to give her the highlights of my weekend rained in with Edward. For the first time, things felt normal again – whatever that was.

**AN: Since this was late, I will do my best to get the next chapter back up on schedule, but this past week was mishugina. Oh and as always, you review, I tease.**


	8. Chapter 8: The MOTHER of All Chapters

**AN: Sorry this chapter was a little late in getting out. I developed an awful stomach bug and then had a hard time writing this week. Huge thanks to wheather79 for pre-reading JadedandBoring for stepping in once again while FanpireMama goes through computer fail . SM owns the characters - I circumcised them, converted their names, forced them to eat my brisket, gave them matzo ball soup when they were sick, sent them to Hebrew School, shipped them to Florida to see their grandparents in Palm Beach County, embarrassed them, and then I made them feel guilty for making me do all of that. I tend to play up some stereotypes; it is all meant in good fun. If you are offended, let me know, or just hit the x button on your browser window.**

**This chapter is super long, hence the name.**

**Chapter 7: The Mother of All Chapters**

**EPOV**

"Mom, I start work in a couple of days. I don't really have time for you to come out."

"Edward, I have this ticket, your father is working – I can take you to get some new suits for work."

I wasn't sure why I was even attempting to argue with her. Arguing with my mother was completely moot; she always railroaded everyone, including me, into doing whatever she wanted. Three years at a top-tier law school didn't change that.

"Okay, I guess."

"Your father mentioned that he would pick you up something you needed from Costco. I'll bring it with me and he is adding you to our membership."

Costco. Costco. Oh, shit – condoms! "No, Mom, I can get my own membership and my own stuff."

"He already went, Edward. Oh, and is Bella free?" she asked in a very nonchalant way, which gave me reason to believe she had more up her sleeve. She always had more up her sleeve.

"She's starting school in a couple of days, but I'm sure she'd love to see you. Are you going to stay with me?"

"Edward, don't be ridiculous. I'm a grown woman. I am not going to force my son to sleep on his couch. I am staying at the Waldorf."

"Okay…"

I quickly got off the phone with my mother and texted Bella about this incoming attack from the west. Knowing Bella, she would stress out about seeing my mother again. She had only experienced the insanity that has become Esme Cullenman toward the tail end of our undergraduate years, but she was so much worse now. I knew there was one thing I would have to do before she came – clean my apartment; it reeked of sex.

* * *

"Edward, I'm not really sure why your mom insisted that I come with you to meet her at the hotel. Wouldn't she want some time alone with you? I can meet up with you later for lunch or something," Bella protested, pulling at the hem of her cotton sundress. She probably thought it was too short, but frankly it was too long in my opinion.

I wondered if she was wearing underwear under the dress. She probably was, not that her little panties ever stopped me. I had to stop thinking about Bella's panties and what I wanted to do to them. We were trying to take it slow, which meant sex every other day – always at my place, using the condoms I had picked up at Duane Reade – ribbed for her pleasure. Bella was trying to ease me into the fold with her friends.

Mom had taken the red-eye from Seattle and was waiting at her hotel to take us for brunch. She wanted to take all of us youth group kids out for dinner later on tonight. It was sort of awkward to invite Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice and of course Bella to dinner. My mom promised their parents she'd take them out for a good meal, but the fact that I hadn't seen Alice and Rosalie since the night they blew up at Bella was going to make it a bit strange. Emmett and Jasper had met me out a couple of times to check out Seahawks games. Guys were always easy like that.

"Baby, she insisted and you don't want to get on her bad side. I don't want to get on her bad side." I leaned in and kissed her neck. We sat for a while in the lobby, people watching.

"I'm hungry," Bella whined.

"She should be down any minute."

"Bella, baby doll!" A loud voice came booming across the tranquil, posh lobby. I looked up to see Renee Swanstein, along with my mother, striding toward us.

Bella's mouth dropped and she and I exchanged glances that conveyed one thing – oh shit!

"Surprise!" My mother shouted as she walked up to me. "Oh, no don't get up to give your old tired mother, who traveled thousands of miles to see her only son a hug."

And so it began.

I corrected my actions and jumped up to enthusiastically hug my mother and greet Mrs. Swanstein. I had been on terms to call her Renee a few years ago, but I didn't want to assume anything. She quickly corrected me when I tried to call her Mrs. Swanstein.

We all exchanged greetings for a while. To say hugging Bella's mom was a little uncomfortable was a complete understatement. I had spoken to this woman countless times in which I was told Bella didn't want to speak to me. Before that, I had spoken with her and her husband in person to ask for their daughter's hand in marriage. Yeah, awkward.

It didn't get better from there. We walked to a local bistro for brunch. Luckily, it was still early and we had no trouble getting a table. Bella sat next to me with her mother across from her and mine across from me.

After we had ordered and Bella and I had both started drinking Bloody Marys, my mother reached into her bag and pulled out a box."Edward, your father went to Costco and got these for you. He said your membership should be activated now too." She handed me the giant box of condoms to me.

I looked at Bella and her mom. Bella was blushing and Renee's eyebrow was cocked eyeing me suspiciously.

Bella looked at her mom and then looked at me. "Oh Esme, thank you so much. This should last – what a week? Right, Edward? Your son is such a tiger in bed." She made a paw with her hand. "Rawr." Apparently the vodka was getting to her.

Renee's mouth dropped open as did my mother's and I tried my hardest not to crack up. No one said anything for a few moments until Bella muttered a quick, "Kidding, geez," under her breath. She quickly excused herself to go to the ladies room, probably hoping that the moment would pass upon her return. It didn't.

As soon as Bella left the table, Renee turned to me and with a straight face sternly said, "If you break her heart again, my husband has a gun and a shovel; he's not afraid to use them." She wasn't joking.

I looked over at my mother for backup, but she raised her eyebrow and nodded. Wait, Charlie Swanstein was a bleeding heart liberal. "Charlie has a gun? Since when? I thought he was pro-gun control."

My mom's mouth curled up in smile and she shook her head. Renee rolled her eyes. "Living in a border state has changed his stance on the Second Amendment. I am sure you two will have a wonderful time discussing it at some point."

"Oh, well let me assure you and your husband that my intentions toward Bella are nothing but altruistic. I know now that both she and I are far better off together than apart. I'm not going to rush her into anything."

Both mothers nodded in agreement as Bella sat back down and the table fell silent again. Luckily, our food arrived quickly thereafter.

**BPOV**

Could today get any worse? My mom came along with Esme, which was horrible. I had enough stress before starting school - dealing with my friends, and making sure things worked with Edward - to add my mom on top of that. Oh yeah, and my period just came. Like a few minutes ago, Aunt Flo decided to come and visit.

To make matters worse, Edward left me. He left me alone with the two vultures at our brunch table. I was defenseless against their attacks, which started as soon as Edward left the table to go to the bathroom.

"Bella, you have grown up so much since the last time I saw you. You went from being this tiny thing to being so… so…zaftig," Esme said, in a somewhat insulting manner. She was trying to be nice, but zaftig? She was calling me fat.

I nodded. "Uh, thanks, I think. Esme, did you change your hair color? It looks different?" I retorted, trying to insinuate that she was going gray.

"Touché, Bella. Touché," Esme replied, smiling that I could hold my own against her.

"Bella, were you serious about you and Edward going through that box of prophylactics in a week? You're still a virgin, aren't you? " My mother asked. She was being completely serious. My family had a "don't ask, don't tell" policy when it came to sex. My parents didn't ask and I didn't tell. My mom was now in violation of this unspoken policy. Esme rolled her eyes.

"Mom! I was joking…" I started to say, but was interrupted by Esme.

"Renee, the kids are 25, I'd be worried if Bella _was_ a virgin. They were together throughout college – don't you remember what it was like for you and Charlie back then?"

Ewh. My French toast was going to come back up now.

"Just remember – marriage, then babies," my mom scolded me.

"Well, practice does make perfect and our grandbaby is going to be perfect," Esme joked, sipping her Bellini.

"Grandbabies. I want lots and lots of them!" My mom retorted, clinking her glass against Esme's.

_Cheers. Fucking cheers! _I spit out my Bloody Mary. _Edward, where the fuck are you?_

The bill came just as Edward sat back down. I made a half-hearted attempted to pay for it, but who are we kidding, I'm a dirt poor student. Surprisingly, Mom picked it up – Esme was paying for their hotel room for their visit.

We split up after brunch, Edward spent the day with his mother – she wanted to accessorize his apartment. I spent the day at the Museum of Modern Art with my mom. Edward and I texted throughout the day; I missed him a lot. Luckily we were regrouping at dinner with my friends – or our friends.

* * *

"You're staying over, right?" Edward asked, as we walked holding hands after dropping off our mothers at their hotel. It was a long walk back to our neighborhood, but it was a nice night and we had barely talked all day.

"Oh yeah, after this day, I could really use a really deep hard - massage. Okay and maybe a little sexy time. Oh shit, Aunt Flo is visiting," I replied, leaning into Edward and squeezing his hand.

"Ewh. Really? We could just cuddle?" He suggested like it was an offer to butcher puppies.

Edward was many things, but a good liar wasn't one of them. Cuddle? Who was he kidding? "Or I could give you a blow job," I replied.

"Like you even have to ask? So, dinner wasn't a total disaster. I mean, Alice is speaking to you again, which I guess some people would say is a good thing. Jasper didn't show up stoned, which was also a plus. "

"Yeah, but did my mom have to go into a tirade about people living together when they weren't even engaged? I mean, it's not like it is 1918 or something. Alice was so humiliated and Jasper was mad too. It really isn't her business what they do. She looked so happy when Emmett announced that he and Rosalie would never live together until they were married."

"She's just relieved," Edward said curtly.

"Why?"

"If Rosalie doesn't move out, then you won't be in need of a new home."

"Why would I move out? I guess I could get a new roommate, but then finding someone to pay the majority of the rent might be hard. Finding something at what I am paying now might be tough. I might be able to go into student housing, but a dorm? Where would I go?" I asked, confused. Rosalie's parents were pretty strict religiously and refused to supplement her income if she and Emmett lived together.

"You'd move in with me, of course."

"But we'd have to be engaged or else my parents would flip. You know my dad bought a gun?"

Edward tilted his head back and laughed. "Yeah, I heard."

"He's afraid of people breaking into their house. My mom isn't pleased at all – she prefer for him to have a handgun or a semi-automatic shotgun or something. I don't really understand guns and the differences between them."

Edward stopped walking. "Whoa, a handgun - your mom? Get out."

"She says if my dad uses the rifle to shoot an intruder, then it will leave residue on her wallpaper and she doesn't want to mess it up. I wish I was making this shit up, but I can't."

"Bells, you know the difference between a rifle and a gun?" I shook my head. "This is my rifle, this is my gun, this is for shooting and this is for fun," Edward chanted making a gesture to his crotch.

"A gun, really? I thought we were calling him Zayin?"

"Yes, yes, Zayin. He misses you."

Only Edward could personify his cock in such an endearing way and I didn't know how to respond to him. What could I say, 'Yes, Edward, I like talking to your cock?' It didn't seem to work, so we walked in silence.

Edward coughed, trying to change the subject. "Um, so yeah, tomorrow is going to suck."

"Why, what are we doing? When you had said your mom was in town, I didn't plan anything in case you wanted me to tag along, but now that my mom is here with yours, I guess I am tagging along. So, what are we doing?" I asked.

"We're shopping at some outlet mall. My mom wants to get me some new suits for work, maybe a new dress coat and such."

"Oh!" Shopping. Great. Edward actually didn't mind shopping like most boys tended to. He usually brought a book and would read while I looked for myself and he liked my help with his stuff, at least that's what I remember from when we were together. I had a feeling we were going to this massive outlet center about an hour from the city. I had been there once or twice with Alice and Rosalie. It was totally overwhelming and overrun with foreign tourists. "There's always a ton of foreign tourists there shopping with suitcases."

"That's because our monetary policy is horrible and our dollar is weak."

I couldn't argue with that and I was too drained to get into a political debate with Edward.

We recounted the night a bit more and shared about our time away from one another today before we reached my apartment. I ran inside, packed a few things into a bag, and left for Edward's. Rose was spending the night at Emmett's so I suppose we could have stayed at my place, but my room was so small that it seemed more logical to go to his place.

When we got back to Edward's, I was beat and got ready for bed. Being with him in his apartment still felt so surreal. We had just gotten back together and yet we were so comfortable with one another.

Edward was fucking around on his computer with something – I think he was making plans for tomorrow night with our moms, but he was being pretty secretive. I tried to keep my eyes open and wait up for him, but after all the necessary drinking that came with being around both my mom and Esme, I was exhausted.

I awoke to find my hand stroking Edward's cock over his underwear. I turned my head and saw his eyes still closed, so I slid under the covers. I slowly pushed down the waistband of his boxer briefs, freeing Zayin. He stared back at me with his one eye and Edward moaned. I pushed the comforter back and saw that Edward's eyes were still shut.

For a minute, I slowly debated the pros and cons of hand jobs versus blow jobs, but one time, maybe our sophomore year of college, I had come to the conclusion that no matter how hard I tried, my hand jobs would never be as good as Edward whacking himself off. So, I had usually resorted to blow jobs. Today was no different.

I started slowly, licking his shaft in long strokes with my tongue, before making my way to his tip. I flicked my tongue over it a few times, before taking him completely in my mouth. When I had dated a few other guys a couple of years ago, I had finally seen my first uncircumcised cock, and to be honest, it scared me. I decided I only liked kosher salami.

The few moans that escaped Edward's mouth only helped to cheer me on and I started moving my mouth over Zayin faster and faster.

Edward started to stir and then exclaimed in a groggy voice, "This is the best alarm clock ever!"

I took my mouth off of his cock and softly said, "Beep." I brought my mouth back down and deep throated Zayin and then took it off and repeated. "Beep." I did that for a while, with each beep getting louder and faster.

Edward started to tense up and I could taste and sense that he was close. I stopped the whole beeping thing and concentrated on getting him off. I moved my fingers and cupped his balls, gently yanking them as my mouth did the heavy lifting.

"Arrghh!" Edward screamed out as I braced for the load he let loose in my mouth. I swallowed it quickly to avoid tasting as little as possible.

I pushed myself up and rested my head on Edward's chest and he kissed my forehead. "Babe, that was the best wake up I have ever had."

* * *

This outlet mall was huge – it was a vast outdoor complex with a ton of stores ranging from the moderately priced to pure luxury. Esme had said that Edward needed to have more suits for work along with some ties and such. It made sense that we should split up, but we didn't. Esme had insisted that I approve of Edward's new wardrobe. I guess she wanted me to become more experienced in men's fashion, which I had about as much interest in as women's. It was strange, but she and Renee seemed to be in cahoots about something because they kept checking the map and nodding at one another. I was having cramps from hell and had probably taken a few too many Advil, so I spent the day in a bit of a fog.

There were several high-end department store outlets where we would split up and then meet back up. My mom was able to find a few outfits on the clearance racks for herself, and I found some school clothes. It seemed strange to be able to go back into dressing in college mode, although MBA's didn't really rock the pajama pants and sweatshirt look. So, I could use most of the clothes I had worn for teaching. I still needed to find my own interview suits. Nothing fit me or just looked really old lady-like.

Edward, on the other hand, was having lots of luck. I loved watching him strut out of the dressing room, clad in his flat-front pant suits. Esme was picking out expensive suits, and boy did those fabrics lie nicely on Edward.

"Bella, what do you think of this grey Burberry suit?" Esme asked.

I wanted to say he looked totally fuckable. In fact, I couldn't help but picture giving him a lap dance while he wore that suit, perhaps to a Led Zeppelin song. I tried not to stare at his crotch, but I did and inadvertently licked my lips. "He looks good," I mumbled, swallowing hard.

Edward smiled back at me and winked. He surely did play the part of Ken doll quite nicely.

"Edward, what about a new tuxedo?" Esme asked, holding up a black tuxedo. I swallowed again, the thought of Edward in a tuxedo was almost too much to handle.

"Mom, what would I need a tuxedo for?" Edward asked, placing his hands in the grey suit's pockets. I was going to faint.

"Your firm is going to have a holiday party… weddings…nights at the opera…" she rambled.

"Moonlighting as a cater-waiter?" I added. I couldn't picture Edward taking me to the opera – it seemed too grown up.

"Oh, I didn't even think about formalwear," my mom stated, turning to me. "Bella, you need a gown. Do you have a full length gown?"

I shook my head and allowed my mom to pull me in the direction of the dress department. After trying on countless gowns I ended up with two – both black, since we did live in New York. One was short and form fitting and the other was long and flowing. Esme had joined my mom, allowing Edward a respite to rest and read in a comfortable chair.

After both Edward and I had done significant damage, the moms ordered Edward to take the bags back to Esme's rental car while they whisked me into some type of lingerie store.

I nearly died when I looked at the prices. $45 for a thong and that was the outlet price? I wasn't going to pay that much to wedge something between my ass.

"Bella, what do you think of this?" Esme held up a light blue chemise that was completely see-through.

"Uhh…"

"Here, try this on," she replied, shoving it into my hands.

Between Esme and my mother, they had me trying on all types of lingerie and worse yet, they had me modeling it for them too. I almost died. My mom insisted on buying me a long white nightgown with a matching robe, but she said she wanted to put it away. Esme bought me a few chemises and a bustier too. She said she wanted to keep most of them but made me pick one of them to have for now.

What the heck were they saving this for and why were they buying me lingerie? Neither would really say anything, but they just smiled at one another and nodded, knowingly.

It was strange and I even pulled my mom aside to ask her about her about-face. "Mom, yesterday you were shocked I wasn't a virgin and now you are buying me lingerie. What gives?"

"Oh honey, I was just teasing yesterday. Your father and I both know you and Edward had been intimate. We just don't talk about those kinds of things. Esme and I talked last night and we both wanted to do this for you."

"What is this?" I asked, only she didn't respond and brushed me off.

**EPOV**

Shopping with Bella was fun, but shopping with Bella and both of our mothers? It was pure and utter torture. I think I would have rather spent time at the Democratic National Convention. We were all exhausted, so we dropped the moms off at the Waldorf and Bella and I took a cab back uptown.

Bella stated she didn't have room in her closet for her new clothes and asked if she could leave it at my place. I gladly cleared a space in the closet for her clothes and drawer in my dresser too. While I was clearing out space, I also gave her a shelf in my medicine cabinet. I tried to make it seem like it was just for convenience, but one of these days I wouldn't let Bella leave. We both took a short and nap before we regrouped later that night to have a light dinner with our moms.

It was a bit bittersweet, since both of our moms were flying out the next day. Although we hadn't wanted their intrusion on our lives, I think both Bella and I would miss them. I wasn't sure when I was going to see my parents again – Thanksgiving , probably. The Jewish holidays were out of the question. I wasn't even sure how I was going to swing getting those days off.

Bella and both moms insisted on tapas. Really? Lots of little things were supposed to fill you up? Maybe if I had a vagina. I muddled through it, but seriously why couldn't we have gone for burgers or something with meat? And I don't mean tiny bits of meat in the form of meatballs or on a skewer.

"Edward, both Renee and I want to go out -you know and be seen. Let's go to a club or something – some place that is really New York?" My mom asked.

I smiled, because I had figured we would go out tonight. I led the group to the place I had scoped out – a small piano bar.

"Oh, Edward this is marvelous," Renee stated as we sat down.

I sat next to Bella and kept my hand around her back. It was a little cheesy, but the moms adored that the singer at the piano was crooning Billy Joel. It was no Sinatra, but a bit more their speed. We ordered drinks. Well, the moms both got glasses of Chardonnay, Bella ordered a gin and tonic, and I had a whiskey – straight up.

"Honey, you should play. You could play that song we danced to at your bar mitzvah," my mother requested. Bette Midler? Wind Beneath My Wings? I could play it, but I had something else in mind.

"I have something else in mind, Mom," I said, looking at Bella and rubbing her back. She smiled back at me and my heart felt like it was going to burst. "Let me find out if I am able to play."

"Edward, you still play?" Bella asked.

"I tried to keep it up in law school as best as I could. I have keyboard in my apartment, but I haven't really taken it out that much." I said, lying through my teeth. Truth was I had taken it out and practiced, but not when Bella was around.

I left the table and sought out someone from the bar to find out if I would be able to play. I knew that they allowed open mic and requests from my research. It took a few minutes but I was quickly told I could go on next. I hadn't played for an audience in a long time, but there was only person I cared about – Bella.

I returned to the table and quickly told them I would be next.

"Oh, I can't wait to hear Bette Midler, she's one of my favorites," my mom cried.

"I love her too. Charlie and I saw her in concert last fall – she was amazing," Renee added.

"I am not playing Bette Midler," I restated as I walked toward the piano, shaking my head.

"Maybe he'll play Barbra!" I heard behind me. I cringed.

The MC announced me and I sat down at the piano and let out a deep sigh.

"This song goes out to a very special woman in my life – Bella, the song explains it all," I said into the attached microphone as I began to play the intro.

"When a woman loves, She, she loves for real, When a woman loves, She, she, she loves for real, She took me back, After I broke her heart, About a thousand times, She gave her life to me, With no regrets, she followed me, And she, and she, the girl she raised me, And I'm forever indebted, I'm forever indebted, I'm forever indebted to her cause, When a woman loves, She, she, she loves for real…"

I sang and played the accompanying music to R. Kelly's soulful ballad. Every time I heard the song, I thought of Bella and I wanted to convey how much I loved that she was back in my life through the music. I wanted our mothers, especially hers, to know that I wasn't going anywhere and I regretted our time apart.

As I was singing, I kept trying to lock eyes with Bella, but she was tearing up and laughing at the same time. I almost stopped. Was I off key? Did I do something wrong? I looked around the room, everyone else seemed to be enjoying my performance.

I finished up the song and thanked the audience, but I was absolutely petrified about facing Bella now. She was laughing at me? Why?

I made my way back to our table where I was showered with praise from both my mom and Renee. Bella was quiet. She sat with a smirk on her face.

"What did you think?" I asked, bracing for the worst. She hated it and was going to leave me. I looked down, afraid to see her face.

"Edward," she said, putting her hand on my forearm. "That was incredible. What a wonderful song!"

"Why were you laughing?"

"Let's go outside and talk," she said, using her head to motion to our mothers. I followed her out the door, where we stepped away from the huddle of smokers who were gathered on the sidewalk in front of the bar. "Edward, you sang R. Kelly. It wasn't you I was laughing at – it's my own fault. Every time I hear R. Kelly, even now, I think of Dave Chappelle singing "Piss on You." Now whenever I hear R. Kelly, I think of golden showers."

I shook my head, laughing. Only Bella would and could take a completely tender moment and add such a bizarre comedic twist to it and I loved her for it. I loved her. "Come here," I said, motioning toward me with my arms out. She ran into my arms and I held her close.

"Edward," my love whispered into my ear, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for spoiling this."

"No, you didn't spoil it. You acted as only you could act and I love you for it." I mumbled that last part.

"What?"

"Bella, I love you. I never stopped."

"I love you too, Edward," she replied. Her words were like music to my ears. This woman owned me. Heck, if we could handle a visit with both of our moms, I was sure we could handle anything. Right?

**AN: Dave Chapelle is a comedian, who used to have a sketch show on Comedy Central. Here is the clip of the song Bella is referring to: ****( dot) com/watch?v=qy15di-Ftas&feature=related**

**Barbra = Barbra Streisand (like there's any other Barbra?)**

**The R. Kelly song Edward sings is "When a Woman Loves." Obviously, I do not own this either. **

**A huge thanks to all the sites and people who have pimped; I really appreciate it. Especially Sue, who worked hard to get this chapter a beta.**

**Do you have any crazy mom stories? Yes, my mother-in-law and my mom took me lingerie shopping. As always, people who review also get teased. Not telling you to review, but saying you are rewarded for your efforts. **


	9. Chapter 9: Black to School

**AN:. Huge thanks to wheather79 for pre-reading and Arfalcon & FanpireMama for beta-ing. I also need to thank everyone who reads. So, SM owns the characters - I circumcised them and then did a ton of crazy shit to them like let them dress up as static cling for Purim. (you wear a white t-shirt and safety pin a sock on to the front). I tend to play up some stereotypes; it is all meant in good fun. If you are offended, let me know, or just hit the x button on your browser window.**

Chapter 8: Black to School

**BPOV**

I slowly walked up the steps of Gould Plaza and entered the Kaufmann Building to start my first day of pre-term orientation at NYU's Stern School of Business. Could this place get anymore Jewish? I felt like I was back at Brandeis. The schedule included a ton of social events and lots of getting to know our blocks – smaller groups with whom we would have all of our classes. I had to remember to ask Edward if he wanted to attend the spouses/partner wine and cheese event on Thursday. I mean, he wasn't either, but we were exclusive.

As I walked to the Schimmel Auditorium in Tisch Hall, I noticed they had a buffet set up with bagels, several types of danish, and fruit. I looked around, trying to find a friendly face, but who was I kidding; I didn't know anyone. Luckily, the first half of the day was spent with presentations about the honor code and a bunch of other boring stuff.

At lunch time, we were broken up into our blocks to have a boxed lunch. I walked through the halls and finally found the room where my block was assigned.

"Bella?" A male voice called out.

I turned around, and lo and behold, standing there was Jake Blackavitz - my first blow job. Wow! He had really cleaned up. Jake had been a bit of a hippie at leadership camp – always listening to Phish, wearing tie dye, and walking around barefoot. That was not the man standing in front of me at all. Eight years later, Jacob had short spiky hair, dressed in preppy clothes, and was very bulky, like Emmett. Jake had also dumped me at camp after I had given him that blow job in the woods, but not until after he bragged to all of his friends about me sucking him off. Now he was being all friendly?

I wasn't one to hold a grudge, but this had the potential to be uncomfortable. Not that I would let that happen; I had been a silly kid back then. It didn't even matter, I had Edward now.

"Jake?" I replied, making sure I was right, since the Jake Blackavitz I had sucked off was a fraction of the man standing in front of me.

He shook his head in disbelief. "What are you doing here?"

I mimicked him, shaking my head too. "I should be asking you that too. I am getting my MBA," I replied, stating the obvious. I didn't exactly look like I was delivering the sandwiches.

"Me too. Are you in Block 3?" he asked.

"Yeah, I am. Are you?" Oh my g-d, he must think I am an idiot. "Of course you are, why else would you be asking me that. So, how are you? What have you been up to for the past eight years?" I bit my lip to try to stop myself from speaking further.

"Good. Uh, I went to Wisconsin for undergrad. Smoked a lot of weed and then decided to grow the fuck up. I worked as an analyst at a big bank up until about a month ago. Oh, and very single," he said, eyeing me up and down like I was something to eat.

"Cool." I crossed my arms across my chest and looked around.

"You? What brings you to b-school?"

"I was actually teaching fifth grade for the past couple of years, but I came to b-school so that I could run my own non-profit one day. Do you remember Edward Cullenman?"

Jake nodded, "Yeah, he was my bunkmate at camp - tall, reddish hair, heartless Republican?"

"Oh yeah, that's Edward. Well, he and I are actually…" I wasn't sure what to say. Boyfriend seemed too casual, but soul mate was a bit too deep for a casual conversation. Involved? "We're involved. It's pretty serious. He's going to flip when I tell him you are in my block. What a small world!" Flip might be too light of a description. He could very well mark me as his territory; he did seem to like R. Kelly, but I had already told him I wasn't into golden showers after he had sung to me.

"I see." Jake's eyes might as well have flashed "Game Over."

As soon as we sat down to eat and listen to the second year MBA who was leading our block in a discussion on study habits, I pulled out my phone and texted Edward.

**Bella: You are never going to believe who is in my block.**

**Edward: I don't know. Do you want me to guess? An Olsen twin?**

**Bella: No! Jake Blackavitz from camp.**

Edward didn't respond immediately. I think I could hear his growling all the way down to where I was in the Village.

**Bella: Don't be jealous – I told him we were together. He says hi.**

**Edward: Oh – I say hi back. I miss you. When will you come home?**

Home? He meant his apartment, right? I had been spending a lot of time there. I had pre-term events all week.

**Bella: Not sure. These days are supposed to be really long. Broadway show tonight and a booze cruise tomorrow.**

I didn't see Edward all week; hopefully the rest of the semester wouldn't be so rough. We talked though, and I could tell he was a little concerned about Jake. On Thursday, he came to the wine tasting. It was nice to know we weren't the only two trying to make a go at it while one partner was in b-school. Business school was known for breaking up couples, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried. Maybe it was the worry or the stress of the long week, but I drank way too much at the wine tasting.

I went from red to white to blush, then back to red. Cabernet, Sauvignon Blanc, Merlot - it didn't matter. Edward drank but in much more moderation. Why was he always so in control? My eyes started getting droopy at our table and Edward led me outside to find a cab back from the Lower East Side.

The next thing I remember is my head in Edward's lap as we navigated the congested downtown streets.

"Is she giving him a blow job?" I turn my head, and a girl and her friend are walking by our cab. Was she talking about me? Ha-ha! She was talking about me!

I closed my eyes as Edward caressed my hair. For a brief moment, I considered actually giving him head, but what kind of tramp does that in the back of a NYC cab? A drunken one!

Except I didn't; I passed out, or I must have. My eyes flittered as I saw Edward taking off my heels, pulling my dress over my head, putting a trashcan by the bed, and bringing me water. I watched as he disrobed and climbed into his bed, next to me.

"Edward…" I called out in a voice slightly higher than a whisper. "I'm horny…" My second wind hitting me, I sat up and rolled over so that I was straddling him, tracing the lines of pectorals, his abs, and his magical 'V'.

"Bella, you're drunk. Don't you have school tomorrow?"

"I'm just meeting my block for lunch; nothing in the morning, though." I nuzzled my nose into his chest and then licked my way up his neck until my mouth was over his. I grounded myself against him, his cock hardening with each touch.

"You're drunk," he said, trying to argue.

"I'm taking advantage of you. You may be a good negotiator, counselor, but I have an argument you can't win," I whispered in his ear, sucking on his lobe.

"How?" he moaned.

"Not how. Show. Show you…" My mouth moved down his body, until my teeth found the waistband of his underwear. I tried to bite down and pull them off with my teeth, but that didn't work too well. I eyed his hard-on like it was a giant Hebrew National all-beef hotdog. I licked his cock through the cotton.

"Hi, Zayin. Won't you come out and play?" I asked, my voice an octave or two higher than its normal tone.

"Bella…" Edward cried, pulling down his undies. Zayin bounced up and down as Edward sat back down. Boing-boing-boing. How did he walk with that thing?

I lowered myself down onto him, pushing my panties to the side. I was so wet he slid right in.

"Mmmmh….Edward…," I moaned.

"Condom…"

"Feels so good. Just for a little bit?" I moved myself up and down on his shaft, my body moving in a snake like motion as I tried to envelop him. Edward put his hands on my shoulders.

"Bella…," he warned. He looked at me like I was a bad girl.

I scooted off of him, narrowing my eyes. "Have I been a bad girl? Do you want to spank me?" I snarled, positioning myself on all fours.

Edward tilted his head back and laughed. He reached into the night table and grabbed a condom. "I love you," he said, shaking his head.

I pouted. "But, I've been a bad girl…," I started to say, as my eyes fluttered closed.

I felt him coming up behind me, placing his hand on my hip. His hand guided his sheathed tip to my entrance and he slid in. In and out, in and out. Rubbing, pulling, twisting – his hands were all over me in a wonderful tangle of limbs. I felt myself get closer and closer as did he. Warmth, heat, blurring lines, until I collapsed onto the bed with him on top of me.

**EPOV**

It had been a rough few weeks. I still had time before starting work, but Bella was back at school. It didn't help that I kept thinking about that douche bag Jacob Blackavitz being around her all day. I didn't like him years ago and I doubt any of that would change. Being a guy, I knew every time he looked at her he was probably thinking about how she had given him a blow job. I hated it. No matter how much I tried to rationalize that it was years ago and it didn't matter, I still didn't like it. Not that I would ever tell her; as far as she was concerned, I was the supportive boyfriend.

I relished the time she and I had together, but I was concerned that this is what the next two years would be like. Most of business school seemed to be one big networking event with lots of alcohol flowing. The people I met at the wine tasting seemed pretty nice, but you could never really tell at those types of things. Not to go all Holden Caulfield, but most of them seemed like a bunch of phonies.

That wine tasting thing was great in theory, but turned out pretty badly. Bella had a horrible hangover the next day, but since I didn't have work I got to care for her. I had yet to decide if the benefits of crazy drunken sex outweighed the cost of her hangover the next day. If there is one thing I can't handle it is vomit – yuck!

Thankfully, Jasper had invited us up to their share house for Labor Day weekend. I know he wanted Alice's closest friends there when he proposed. Of course, that meant that Bella and I were relegated to the pullout sofa in the living room, but it beat sleeping on the floor. I had never been to the Hamptons before and was eager to see what all the fuss was about. When I was in DC the past couple of summers, I had made a few trips out to Dewey Beach, which was one big frat party. My law school friends were really into it, but to me it was a bit sad to see thirty and even forty-somethings acting like drunken buffoons.

Bella and I took the Jitney out and then a taxi to the share house. The trip seemed to take forever and we were exhausted. The house was about a half mile from the beach and calling it a house was a bit of a stretch – the two bedroom cape was more of a cottage. Bella was pretty excited about going out there with her friends. Jasper and Emmett and I had picked up our friendship, but the girls were still a bit wary of me. Emmett picked up sandwiches for everyone and we ate them at the house before we waited a half hour for a taxi to pick us up and take us to a club.

The girls had no idea Jasper was going to propose this weekend. I was a little worried about Bella's reaction - not saying she would be jealous of her friend, because she wouldn't be – but I was a little unsure of how she would take it. Bella was not pushing for marriage, unlike our mothers, who practically took Bella bridal gown shopping. I knew not to push her. School came first and I was letting Bella dictate the terms, even though it killed me to relinquish control.

The cab ride was great – we all crammed in with Bella sitting on my lap. She was wearing these tiny white shorts, a halter top, and a thong. She never wore a thong. It didn't help that she was sitting on my lap. She could definitely feel Zayin waking up.

"Tell Zayin, he and I will hang out later," she whispered in my ear while everyone else was talking.

That didn't help. The club was overpriced, pretentious and full of assholes. The girls danced, but when a bunch of guys tried to join them, us guys had to cut in. I tried as best I could to swing my hips and grind against Bella to the beat of some random rap song. Bella nursed the same fruity girly drink the whole night. After her vomit-fest from the wine tasting, I was glad she was taking it easy. We didn't stay out too late.

We spent the next day at the beach. Bella was white as a ghost, so I was glad when she came to me that morning with a huge container of sunscreen.

"Edward, schmear me like bagel," she commanded, handing me the bottle, and shimmied out of her sundress.

Her black bikini accentuated her creamy smooth skin. I took my time lathering her up, my hands lingering on her sides. Bella returned the favor and put sunscreen on me too. She took her time as well, massaging the lotion into me. Her small hands felt so good as she worked the lotion into my skin. Zayin pressed against the inside of my board shorts.

"Bella, tell everyone we'll meet them at the beach," I moaned, wanting more. Always more.

Although we were a little sticky, we had a quick romp on the couch. It was pretty easy with us being half naked already. Baruch haShem. I loved this woman.

I couldn't stop looking at her as she lay out on the beach, reading a book on financial accounting. She was so dedicated – it was so sexy. Everything about her drew me in and Emmett and Jasper had to keep tossing me the football to keep me from just staring at Bella. I hated Jasper at that moment. I hated that l knew later tonight he would have a ring sitting in his pocket and would be hearing yes.

That's exactly what he heard. We grilled hot dogs and hamburgers at the house and then Jasper took Alice for a walk on the beach at sunset. It had actually been a great dinner and the girls were really starting to warm up to me. They even laughed at my jokes. Neither Rosalie nor Bella thought anything of Alice and Jasper taking a walk, but their eyes grew wider as they heard a screech coming from the beach. Emmett and I had to assure them it was okay. It didn't take long for Alice to come running back to the house with Jasper in tow.

"I'm getting married," she screamed. The girls ran up to her and examined her ring. It should have been Bella. They then started jumping up and down, squealing. Jasper approached Emmett and me, and we both shook our heads. Emmett knew the pressure was on him.

I may have had my mom breathing down my neck, but everyone knew that a summer together wasn't enough time. Bella wasn't ready and although I feigned happiness for the newly engaged, I was a bit sad it wasn't us. It took me back to the night she had said no and I had lost her - the night I walked away. I held her extra close that night as we tossed and turned on the sofa bed.

For the rest of the weekend, it seemed the wedding was on the tip of everybody's tongue. Rosalie and Bella had jogged into town Sunday morning and picked up a ton of bridal magazines and the girls were preoccupied all day. They sat there on the beach, ignoring us guys as they debated strapless versus cap sleeves. What were cap sleeves anyways? Much to Jasper's dismay, they kept asking him questions. He didn't know, nor did he care. He kept asking why they couldn't get married on a beach. I knew I didn't want to do that – who would want sand in their shoes? Maybe we'd get married at our synagogue in Forks.

Fuck, I just wanted Bella forever. We went for a walk on the beach Sunday night alone. It was the first time we had spent together all day.

"Learn anything interesting in those bridal magazines?" I asked, hoping maybe Alice's fervor was contagious. I looked over at Bella hopefully.

"Ugh, I learned that Alice is going to be a bridezilla and that weddings are full of a ton of details and stress. Alice has been engaged for less than 24 hours and she has spoken to her mom about a thousand times over little details and shit. Edward, I'd die if I had to talk to my mother that much. They say that marriage is pretty useless these days anyways. Maybe not getting married isn't a bad thing."

I had never considered not getting married. What was she saying? My chest hurt in an ache I had felt for three years.

"You don't want to get married at all or just not to me?" I asked. My voice trembled and I picked up my pace as my fight or flight instinct kicked in.

"Edward," she cried as she hurried to catch up. "I was just talking. This wedding stuff is total insanity – our mothers. Oy! Can you imagine them?"

I stopped and turned around. The sun was lit a burnt orange and the wind was blowing sand. The sea salt from the ocean caused her tendrils to stick to the side of her face.

"They wouldn't be that bad." Lie. I reached out and grabbed her arm, hoping to pull her closer, but she shrugged me away.

"Do you know what they were doing at the mall with me?" she asked. I shook my head and placed my hand on her shoulder. "They bought me my trousseau," she sighed.

"What's that?" I had no idea what she was talking about.

"I didn't realize it at the time, but I read an article about it today in one of those magazines. It's lingerie for our wedding night and honeymoon. Edward, we've been back together for a few weeks and already they're taking control. Our wedding would be a disaster, not to mention our wedding night."

"You don't know that and so what if it would be? It'd be ours. I want you. I want a future with you, Bella, but if you don't want that or don't see yourself wanting that, you've got to let me know."

"I do want a future with you too," she replied softly, looking up at me, her eyelashes fluttering, her lip all pouty in a cute way.

I brought my lips down gently on hers, kissing her softly.

We pulled apart ever so slightly. "Thinking of futures, what are you doing for the High Holidays?" she asked, biting her bottom lip.

I loved when she did that. I hadn't thought about Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur yet. I didn't even know if I could take the day off of work. I shrugged my shoulders in answer.

"I'm making a brisket and I can get us tickets to services at the NYU Judaism Center. You game?"

"Of course."

As the sun set on summer, our relationship continued to grow. I was excited about our future, but maybe a little bit more excited to dig into Bella's tender brisket.

**As always, people who review also get teased. Not telling you to review, but saying you are rewarded for your efforts with fun teasers. I also try to post picteasers and teasers on the fictionators (though they tend to be different then what I put in review replies).**

**Baruch Ha Shem means "Blessed be the Name" (or Blessed be G-d)**


	10. Chapter 10: Blow It Out Your Shofar

**AN: Huge thanks to wheather79 for pre-reading and Arfalcon & FanpireMama for beta-ing. I also need to thank everyone who reads. So, SM owns the characters - I circumcised them and then did a ton of crazy shit to them like gave them mango hamantshens (cookies for Purim). I tend to play up some stereotypes; it is all meant in good fun. If you are offended, let me know, or just hit the x button on your browser window or however you mac people close windows.**

**Chapter 9: Blow It Out Your Shofar**

**EPOV**

"Oh my, that is so good. Ughhh… Bella, I can't get enough." I opened my mouth wider and a little drool slid out. "I want more…"

"Edward," she replied, shaking her head.

"You're amazing," I shook my head in disbelief.

"Stop."

I moaned. It was just so good.

"Bella…"

"Edward, for Christ's sake, it's just brisket."

"It's so delicious though," I replied, looking up to see Rosalie rolling her eyes at me. "Don't take the Lord's name in vain."

"He's not our Lord," Bella replied, shaking her head at me again. I was on thin ice.

I piled more meat on my plate and also grabbed an extra apple, dipping it in the honey. Some of the honey dripped onto the table. Without thinking, Bella took her finger and scooped it up, sucking it into her mouth and then licking her finger.

Fuck! She had awoken the beast, the beast known as Zayin. Maybe I was getting too old for my penis to have its own name. I adjusted my pants under the table, hoping the girls didn't realize what I was doing. I pretended to readjust my napkin on my lap.

"Cullenman, were you able to take off work for Rosh Hashanah tomorrow?" Rosalie asked, crossing her legs, like it was a test. She wanted to test me to see if I would check out her legs. I had known Rosalie since we were little kids learning our alephbets. Who did she think she was kidding? I knew she was trying to get my attention; she and Emmett were fighting, again. I really didn't fucking care, but it seemed Rosalie was on the warpath tonight; the warpath or maybe the rag. Perhaps both. She was being such a raging bitch. She kept glancing at the empty seat across from me, the seat Emmett would have been sitting in. I had already been subjected to her male bashing all night. I reminded myself to beat his ass - if I ever had social life again.

I kept my eyes on hers and didn't even glance down at her long legs in her short skirt. "I am taking a half day and coming in at three."

Working at the law firm had started off a little slow - orientation, filling out forms, but now I was working on a brief with one of the partners; luckily he was Jewish too. My hours had started out pretty light, in at 9 and out by 7, but in the second week they gradually began to increase with my workload and billable hours. Coming in at three in the afternoon meant that I would work until midnight and be back in at 7 AM the next morning; so much for the second day of Rosh Hashanah.

She sighed at my response and the Jewish guilt engulfed me. "What about your classes, Bells?" I asked, wondering if her classes had been canceled or not.

"I'm skipping classes tomorrow. A few of them are being rescheduled, but I have some reading to do in the afternoon," Bella shrugged.

Rosalie looked at Bella and then back at me, her eyes narrowing.

"How _is _school going?" Rosalie asked, her voice dripping with venom.

"Fine," Bella replied.

"What's Jacob doing for the holidays?" Rosalie asked, looking pointedly at Bella. What was she getting at? Who did she think she was, Diane Sawyer?

Bella paused. She fucking paused. What the hell was that? "He's flying home for Yom Kippur, but I think he'll be at the student center tonight and tomorrow." That just proves that kid is a dumbass. Who flies home for the one holiday where you don't eat? Everyone is miserable on Yom Kippur: it is the Day of Atonement and we're all moody from fasting.

"Wow! I guess you two must talk a lot?" I asked. Since starting my job, my time with Bella had been significantly reduced as we had both anticipated, but we never expected that we'd both be too tired to even talk. I had every plan to rectify this situation with dinner at a five star restaurant on Saturday night.

Bella slammed her fork down, causing it to clink against her parents' old dishes. "I told you that. He's in almost all of my classes and he is one of the few finance people who's actually nice to me. There's a whole group of guys in my class who are just – assholes. They were all analysts at big banks and this is some big rite of passage for them to be big investment bankers, work for hedge funds, or get their foot in the door of some venture capital firm. If you can't provide any value at all to them, they treat you like dirt. Then there are the girls who are these super sluts sleeping with these guys because they want a giant mansion in Connecticut in a few years or their only interest is in luxury marketing. When I tell them that I want to run a non-profit, they look at me like I have a cock growing out of my head. So, yes, Jake is one of the few people I hang out with and yes, he's my friend and no, you shouldn't feel threatened by this! Geez!"

Rosalie and I watched as Bella pushed her chair back from the table and stormed off to her room. I looked back at Rosalie; she was smirking. _Bitch. _"Should I go after her?" I mouthed, thinking she was going to say yes, but Rosalie shook her head.

"Give her a few minutes, she's just stressed out. Why are you so worked up over Jake? You know she loves you. You don't think that you having a young officemate, who happens to be female, bothers her too?"

Huh. I hadn't thought of that. I had mentioned Leah in passing to Bella, but I never saw her like that. We didn't even work for the same partner, but since we were both first year associates, they threw us in an office together. I did mention she was nice and we had lunch together a few times, but… "Fuck!"

"She'll be fine. So, has Emmett mentioned me at all?" Rosalie asked.

"Rose, if I haven't had time to speak with Bella that much, why would you think I would have had time to chat with Emmett about how you two are perfect for one another and are both too pigheaded to admit it? Don't do what I did, and fuck something up that was perfect, because you have too much pride. Listen, stop being a bitch. If Emmett says something is bothering him, talk about it and don't storm off. Which…" I pushed my chair back and walked to Bella's room.

I lightly tapped on the door, but instead of waiting for her to say it was okay, I twisted the handle and walked in. "Bella…"

She was sitting on her bed with her hands wrapped around her knees; she'd been crying. "I'm sorry," I cried out. I couldn't bear seeing her with tears in her eyes, it was like my kryptonite. Yeah, I'm totally pussy whipped.

"No, I'm sorry. I am acting all hormonal. I went back on the pill and it makes me insane. I hate it! You have to trust me. Jake and I are just friends."

"I do trust you, baby. I just miss you so much. We knew this was going to be hard, but anticipation and reality are two very different things." I walked over and sat next to her on the bed. She put her head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around her.

"I trust you too," she said, kissing my neck.

"If the pills make you this crazy, then go off of them. We'll just have to be more careful." I paused and waited for her to insist that they weren't that bad, but she didn't. Although, I wouldn't mind if she got pregnant with my child. The idea of her belly swollen with my baby was making my dick twitch.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Come on, before we incur more of the wrath of Rosalie."

Bella pulled me back down on to the bed. "That bitch instigated this, she can wait," she said, bringing her lips down on mine.

I had to pull away before we took it too far –sex and the High Holidays just didn't mix. It was wrong.

**BPOV**

I loved sitting in the Rosh Hashanah service next to Edward. I even braided the fringe of his tallit. I think mine is at my parents' house. I don't see that many girls wearing them here. I used to braid my father's prayer shawl when I was little and never paid attention to the service. Even now, I flip through the prayer book and figure out which page the hymn, _Adon Olam_, is on. The singing was magnificent during the service and I really tried hard to pay attention.

I spied Jake a few rows in front of us, he even turned around and waved. I waved back and saw Edward give him a head nod. It was better than nothing. The rabbi's sermon focused on making decisions, growing up, and feeling a sense of loss to dreams that were once held but never realized. Overall, it wasn't a bad service, but I still missed our synagogue back on the Olympic Peninsula, even if my parents were no longer members and I hadn't been there in years. It was where I had met my best friends. As pre-teens, Alice, Rosalie and I ruled the women's bathroom; hanging out in there for half the service. We would hang out with the guys and a few of the other kids outside if it wasn't raining during the rabbi's sermon. I wondered how Rabbi Cope was doing.

I thought back and tried to remember the sermon from last year, but I couldn't. Every year the rabbis stand up and try to instill some nugget of thought to get you to change. How much had my life changed? Who I was a year ago wouldn't recognize who I am now if they met on a street. I looked over and grabbed Edward's hand, weaving my fingers through his.

After the service, we went back to Edward's apartment. We ate lunch there and cuddled together in his bed before he left to go to work and I went to school. We parted with promises to try harder, but I only received a simple "I love you" text from him that night. I kept reminding myself that we were both adjusting and it wouldn't always be like this, but telling myself one thing and believing it are two very different things. That was the first night I clutched one of Edward's t-shirts and cried myself to sleep.

The next day, I sat next to Jake in temple. He was definitely a good friend, but I had to keep reminding him I was in a relationship with Edward. Jake wouldn't relent and kept putting his arm around the back of my chair. He even chastised me for trying to braid the fringe of his tallit. When the service ended, we hung out and kibitzed with a few people we knew. I really wanted to go home and take a nap, maybe even sulk a little bit, but Jake pulled me into a diner to grab some lunch.

I tore up my straw wrapper as we waited for our food.

"Bella, why are you with him if he makes you this upset?" Jake asked, reaching out to grab my hands, but I moved them off the table and onto my lap.

"Jake, you don't understand the history that Edward and I have. We were together through most of undergrad. Almost all of my best college memories have Edward in them and we didn't even go to the same school."

"Wow, so you've been together for what – seven, eight years?" Well, we would have been, except… fuck, how do I explain this to him.

"Umm… no." I then proceeded to tell him the tale of how Edward and I had broken up, gone our separate ways, and then came back to one another again.

His mouth gaped when I explained why we broke up, but once I recounted what had occurred in a little bagel shop, he shook his head incredulously.

"Fuck. I'm sorry, Bella." I shrugged. What could I say? "No, I'm sorry for trying to mack on you before. Shit, I'm not…" He put his hands up in defense and then my phone beeped.

**Edward: Finishing up work. You, me, apples, and honey – my place tonight?**

**Bella: Like you have to ask!**

Jake noticed the smirk that's affixed on my face. "What's so funny?"

"Edward… Just when I think he's too busy to even have a relationship, he does these little things. You know, summer camp was a long time ago; you two may actually like one another now." I took a long sip of my soda.

He shrugged. "Maybe. So, how are those debits and credit coming for you?" he asked, changing the subject. I hated accounting. Hated it.

"Don't ask. I get it, but then sometimes the specifics confuse me."

Jake and I went on talking about school. I had a passing thought of trying to set Jake up with one of my friends, but we were so focused on talking about school that I forgot to mention it to him.

I remembered as I was going through reading for my Organizational Behavior course. It really had been too long since Edward and I had sex – reading about Porter's Five Forces was turning me on. Okay, so just the word "forces" was sort of doing it for me. I texted Edward to figure out what time he'd be home. It took him forever to even respond.

**Edward: Leaving the office now. Starving!**

**Bella: I've got something for you to nosh on!**

I smiled at the thought of Edward going down on me. A little nosh? He was starving; I could find something for him to eat.

I raided our tiny fridge and found several apples, sliced them quickly, placed them in a plastic bag. I then grabbed the half-filled bear shaped honey bottle from the other night and a Tupperware container filled with brisket. Edward could have it; I didn't want to see brisket for a long time. I was brisketed out. He could always go for more meat. I ran to my bedroom and threw a few more things into a bag and headed to Edward's. It felt like each time I went to his apartment, I was leaving more and more of my stuff there.

A few New York minutes later, I was knocking on Edward's door. Why didn't he just give me a key? Edward took his sweet time walking to the door and when he opened it, he looked awful, despite the fact that he was wearing only boxer briefs.

"Youbringfood?" he mumbled. I held up the cloth shopping bag in one hand and he grabbed it and went padding into the kitchen.

I had barely set my things down when he returned, his face buried in the Tupperware_. So romantic. Not_. Is this what we were becoming?

"How was your day?" I asked, already knowing it was long and he was tired. I plopped myself down on his couch. There was already a slight indentation in the cushion that seemed to match my butt.

"Brutal. I didn't even get a chance to eat lunch – I'm starving," he replied in between bites.

"I'm sorry to hear that." I started to unbutton my Oxford shirt. Not too far down, but enough to show a bit more cleavage. Edward sat down next to me, turning the TV on, and throwing the remote back onto the coffee table. Of course, it was on Fox News.

I groaned internally and sat there for a few minutes. _I wasn't going to let us get this complacent, not without a fight. _I had an idea, it was a bit campy, but Edward needed to wake the fuck up. Maybe it was because I had sat through High Holiday services with all the talk about being inscribed in the _Book of Life_ and this is the time of year when Ha Shem would determine who would live and who would die over the next year. I wanted to live; I wanted to feel alive.

I grabbed the remote off the table and shut the babbling nonsense off.

"Hey…" Edward cried, not even looking up at me. I walked over to his entertainment system, spun the playlist on his iPod and found what I wanted.

The song was so overly cheesy, but this had always been on my dirty to-do list. As the intro played, I ran and brought back the bag of sliced apples and the honey bear. Edward watched me, his eyes following me as I went back and forth.

_Pour some sugar on me…_

Def Leppard started to sing as I straddled Edward, slowly drizzling the honey on his chest. He just looked at me like he was scared what my next move would be. I picked up an apple and ran it through the line of honey I had made on his chest. I brought the apple to mouth and then holding it with my teeth; I placed my mouth over his. He took the apple from my mouth like Adam taking from Eve.

As he slowly chewed the apple, I ran my tongue down his chest, licking up the honey. Of course, being me, I picked up a stray chest hair or two and that made me start to gag a little.

Okay, so I started wheezing like a sick cat so much so that I pulled myself off of him and ran for the bathroom. _Fuck. _

"Bella, what the hell was that?" Edward called out from the couch. He hadn't bothered to chase after me.

It took a few minutes but I finally coughed the hairs out. I walked back into the living room. The song was playing on repeat and Edward was sitting where I had left him on the couch, eating the apples from the bag. I just realized they had turned brown. Shit! I forgot to soak them in lemon juice.

"Hi," I said, shyly.

"Umm, hi? What the fuck was that?" He put his hands up to his sides, silently communicating what the fuck to me.

"I had all of these leftover apples and I missed you. I thought combining the two would be fun," I replied, jutting my lip out in an over-exaggerated pout.

"I'd kiss you right now, but I'm really sticky. Bells, you don't have to do stuff like that. I'm going to go shower and then we'll talk." He walked past me and shut the door, leaving me stunned.

I wanted to just leave and cry, but instead I allowed tears to stream down my face as I shut off his iPod and stripped to my pjs before climbing into his bed. I wasn't sure why, but when he finally emerged from the bathroom, I pretended I was asleep. I couldn't handle any more rejection that night.

* * *

Edward spent most of Saturday in the office, which was fine with me. We hadn't really spoken since the honey incident. I took my cue from him in the morning and he didn't broach the subject, so I didn't either. He did tell me wanted to take me to a nice restaurant for dinner. His first paycheck had come and he wanted to celebrate. I agreed and hoped that maybe he had just been tired.

Studying was pretty much useless as anxiety-ridden thoughts invaded my brain. I couldn't help but hate myself for falling into this trap again. Somehow I muddled through the day, though I was so miserable I had forgotten to eat. Yeah, I had become _that _girl.

I wanted to talk to my friends about the situation, but I wasn't sure who would understand. Rosalie was knee-deep in her own issues with Emmett, and Alice would only freak out about her wedding party being spoiled if Edward and I broke up. I thought about talking to my other friends, even Jake, but no one seemed to really fit the bill. For a brief moment I had considered calling my mom, but if she sensed any sign of trouble between Edward and me, she and Esme would be on the next flight out. I felt utterly alone and miserable.

Despite my melancholy mood, I dressed and even took the time to shave my legs for dinner. Edward arrived on time and instructed the cab to take us downtown to the West Village.

"It's the most romantic restaurant in New York City, Bella. I'm sorry work has sort of taken over my life," Edward explained in the cab, wrapping his arm around my shoulders as I nuzzled closer to him.

We were the youngest customers in the place. It seemed like every few minutes the waiters would be cheering on a happy couple, who had just become engaged. I really hoped that wasn't our purpose for coming here. As much as I was inching closer to wanting a forever with Edward, the past few weeks had proven to me that we had a long way to go.

Edward was oblivious to the proposing going on around us, luckily. Over dinner, he explained that he was working on a big case with one of the main partners at his firm and being given this assignment as a first-year associate was a very big deal. I felt like a jerk for being pissed off at him, like I was supposed to know all of this. Halfway through gorging myself on Long Island Duck, Edward reached into his pocket. My heart stopped beating for a split second, but instead of pulling out a velvet ring box, he pulled out buzzing blackberry. I started to laugh, and when I looked up to try to explain my spontaneous laughter, his eyes were focused on the screen.

"Ed-" I started to say, but was interrupted by Edward holding out a finger, indicating me to wait. My mouth remained agape as I watched his fingers glide around the tiny QWERTY keyboard.

"Sorry," he apologized, over and over again like that made it any less rude.

"Is it always going to be like this? Am I always going to have to share you with your work?"

He just stared at me blankly.

**EPOV**

I didn't know how to answer her. I wanted to say no, but I didn't want to lie to her either. "I don't know. Fuck, Bella, I'm working this hard for you." I wanted to give her everything – a house, nice cars, vacations… anything she wanted, I wanted to be able to provide for her.

"I just want you, Edward," she replied softly, her head facing down so that I couldn't see her eyes.

Fuck, she was crying; just tears, not wailing, so she wasn't making a scene. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. "Bells, I'm sorry about last night. I was just so tired and not in the mood. I want to spend time with you…" My pocket buzzed again, but I ignored it. "I need you to be patient with me, though. I'm just getting the hang of this and I need to learn balance."

My blackberry buzzed again and then it started ringing. The other diners turned around and were looking at us. I pulled it out and saw it was the partner calling. I had to take this. "Bella…"

"Take it," she said curtly, pulling her napkin to her face.

I sighed and walked away as I received an earful from the partner about additional work we were going to need to do for the case. Did he not realize it was Saturday night? After a lot of "yes, sirs", I finally returned to the table, knowing full well I was in the doghouse.

No amount of apologies seemed to make amends for my actions, even though she gave me the cold shoulder after I returned, she wasn't so mad that she didn't spend the night.

"Please, baby. How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?" I pleaded with her as we lay in bed, an imaginary wall separating us.

"I don't know why I'm even here. You can say you are sorry, but you sure don't show it," she cried, rolling over, away from me.

_Show, eh?_

Moving to the foot of the bed, I started at her toes, sucking them in my mouth. I tried not to think about where they had been or the fact that I was sucking on them, but she sure did like it. My lips moved up her leg, as my tongue did a lap around her knee cap, I was slowly making my way up to the Promised Land.

I gently eased her panties down and began to suck away at her sweet pussy. Each taste elicited a stronger moan from her lips as she writhed under me. I worshipped her until she came, knowing I couldn't just apologize with a sex act.

When she was finished, I leaned over her and caressed her side. "Well, that's a start." She turned over and closed her eyes.

Each little thing I did over the next couple of weeks helped to chip away at the iceberg that had encased Bella. I tried as best as I could to be a little more attentive to her, but I couldn't sacrifice my work. I brought her flowers, I set a reminder to text or call her on nights I was working late, I tried to remember when she had tests and papers due, I even talked to Emmett to try to smooth things over with Rosalie. Despite my efforts and the time we tried to squeeze in to be with one another, it never seemed like enough. She knew I was trying, and I knew she was too, but we had both quickly come to loathe my Blackberry.

Thankfully, Yom Kippur was upon us, and the Day of Atonement meant seeking forgiveness from those you had wronged. She had to forgive me then. Of course, she did. She even forgave me when I yelled at her for eating in front of me while I was fasting. As I listened to the shofar being blown, marking the ending of the holiday, I was thankful not only to eat again, but to have her in my life. If we could make it through this adjustment stage, I knew we could make it through anything.

**BPOV**

He could blow his apologies out the end of his shofar! I was pretty sick of hearing him saying that he was sorry; it was becoming moot. He would apologize, but he never modified his behavior, which just made those words coming out his mouth meaningless. I tried to forgive him and start the year fresh, as is customary in the Jewish religion, but we weren't getting off on the right foot.

Luckily, Edward wasn't my whole life. Between classes, clubs, group projects, tons of happy hours, and the weekly Beer Blast that was held at school, I had plenty to keep me busy. I did expect to be texted back in a reasonable amount of time and not always have to initiate texts or phone calls.

Then there was Halloween. It was a pretty big fucking deal at Stern, being in Greenwich Village, where there was a huge parade. One of the clubs hosted a huge party at a local party space and I had purchased tickets for us to go. Edward had insisted he would be able to make it, but said he'd meet me there, so I gave him his ticket.

Of course, that night left me walking around the party in a Playboy bunny costume without my Hugh Hefner. Edward had texted me that he was running late. Luckily, Jake was there or else I would have been standing around trying to recognize people I knew from my classes.

"Whoa, look at you," Jake cried, pulling me into a big bear hug. He was dressed in a hoodie but it had a bear's face as the hoodie part.

"Hey Jake, what are you?" I asked, trying to figure out his costume. He flipped his hood up so that it covered his face and then flipped it back off.

"I'm a pedobear." It took me a few moments to realize what that meant, but seeing Jake's hulking form in this getup was quite a site.

"Great costume! I'm sure you are going to win for best costume," I shouted over the loud music.

"Where's Edward? He shouldn't let you out wearing that. Someone may get the wrong idea."

I looked around, hoping by some divine intervention Edward would come walking in, but he didn't. "He got stuck at work, he should be here soon. Hey, Jake, what do you think of me setting you up with someone? You are always hinting about how you hate being single. Why not let me help you out there?"

"Are you offering yourself to me?"

I wrinkled my nose and shook my head. "No, but I have a ton of single friends that I think would really like you."

"As long as they're as cool as you are. Hey, do you want to dance?" he shouted again. I nodded, as it beat standing around being gawked at by other students. Thankfully I wasn't even wearing a risqué costume compared with some of the other girls, but I still felt exposed.

I danced with Jake, but made sure to keep my distance; none of that bump and grind kind of dancing. The second a slow song came on, I conspicuously slipped out to check my phone, which was stuffed in my cleavage. Bunny costumes didn't have pockets. I knew one sure way to get Edward out of his office.

**Bella: When are you getting here? Jake keeps trying to hit on me.**

I waited a few moments before my phone beeped with his response.

**Edward: Getting in a cab now.**

I smiled and hung out by the bar while I awaited his arrival. My classmates were already stressing about summer internships. I had a few ideas about where I wanted to intern and luckily it wasn't at some big finance firm. The alcohol lessened any anger I had toward Edward being late. He worked; I got it.

"Fuck me hard," a familiar voice called out.

I turned around. "Edward, you came!" I ran up to him, more excited to see him than angry anymore.

"Not yet, but seeing you in this getup is definitely helping," he said, smirking, his lips meeting my mine and then quickly dragging around my mouth. "I am fighting off every caveman urge to throw you over my shoulder, take you home, and have my way with you."

"Come on, let me introduce you around and let's have fun." I pulled Edward toward the dance floor.

Edward took a genuine interest in meeting the people I went to school with, even the assholes. He later told me he wanted to be able to put faces to the names I talked about. It felt like he was really trying and apologies aside that was all I really wanted.

He couldn't keep his hands off of me in my little bunny costume. His Italian suit actually worked well as a costume with mine. Sure, he was no Hugh, but then why would Edward really need to be a creepy old man?

"Did you hear? Rosalie and Emmett made up, thankfully at his place," I told Edward.

"That's great news. I'm glad they're working it out."

"I'm glad they aren't the only ones." I replied, nuzzling Edward's neck.

"This is fun, but I want my special bunny performance," he said, grabbing at my ears, and then patting my tail.

"Honey?" I asked.

"Of course. Come on." Edward pulled me to the door and used his newfound New Yorker prowess to hail a cab. That night I finally fulfilled my lap dancing/honey sucking fantasy. I didn't even choke on Edward's chest hair. Better yet, we made love to Guns-n-Roses' _Patience _– one of Edward's fantasies and our newfound theme song.

**AN: Reviews = smexy teasers; it's a symbiotic relationship. Brisket recipe is in my profile. You will come in your pants – it is that good.**

**Here is some more info on the Jewish stuff in this chapter. You can usually Google or go to Wikipedia for any term you are not familiar with:**

**Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year. It is the first of the High Holidays or Yamim Noraim ("Days of Awe"), celebrated ten days before Yom Kippur.**

**Yom Kippur, also known as the Day of Atonement, is one of the holiest days of the year for the Jewish people. Its central themes are atonement and repentance. Jews traditionally observe this holy day with a 25-hour period of fasting and intensive prayer, often spending most of the day in synagogue services. Yom Kippur completes the annual period known in Judaism as the High Holy Days.**

**High Holy Days or High Holidays are used interchangeably.**

**A shofar is a horn, traditionally that of a ram, used for Jewish religious purposes. Shofar-blowing is incorporated in synagogue services on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.**

**Tallis/Tallit s a Jewish prayer shawl. The tallit is worn over the outer clothes. A tallit is worn during the morning prayers (Shacharit) on weekdays, Shabbat and holidays. The tallit has special twined and knotted fringes known as tzitzit attached to its four corners.**

**Alephbet, known variously by scholars as the Jewish script, square script, or block script is used in the writing of the Hebrew language, as well as other Jewish languages, most notably Yiddish, Ladino, and Judeo-Arabic.**

**In Judaism, the name of G-d ("Ha Shem") is more than a distinguishing title; it represents the Jewish conception of the divine nature, and of the relationship of God to the Jewish people and to the world.**


	11. Chapter 11: Shtuping Schmaltzy Turkeys

**AN: Huge thanks to wheather79 for pre-reading and Arfalcon & FanpireMama for beta-ing. I also need to thank everyone who reads. So, SM owns the characters - I circumcised them and gave them Jewish names. I tend to play up some stereotypes; it is all meant in good fun. If you are offended, let me know, or just hit the x button on your browser window or however you Mac people close windows.**

Chapter 10: Shtuping Schmaltzy Turkeys

**BPOV**

A few days after Halloween, I was sitting on the steps of Gould Plaza eating a dirty water hot dog when my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Bella? Oh good, you're not in class. Listen, you and your parents are coming to us for Thanksgiving. I've booked you and Edward tickets for Tuesday before."

_What?_

"Who is this?"

"Oh, dear, it's Esme. I thought you knew my voice by now. So, like I said, your parents are coming back to Washington and you are joining us for Thanksgiving this year. I thought it would be nice for the families to get together. We have plenty of room, though you and Edward need to be in separate rooms."

Wait, she bought me lingerie to wear for her son, but she doesn't want us sleeping in the same bed? _Okay, Esme._

"Uh, sure, that sounds great. Does Edward know?"

"Oh, of course, he calls me every day from work."

Huh. I have to beg for a text message and she gets a daily phone call? Fuck that shit. "Okay, cool," I growl out. It's not that I was angry per se, but I was hurt. As the day wore on, it only grew.

Rose was sitting on our small couch when I finally made it home from class that night. She was digging into a pint of ice cream. I threw my bag on the floor, grabbed a spoon from the kitchen, and plopped down next to her.

"Tough day?" I asked.

"You have no idea. Emmett is a total asshole. You?" Rosalie replied, passing me the pint.

I dug my spoon in and took too much. "Edward… his mother… his job, and I fall somewhere down on that list of priorities."

"Well, at least he's supportive of your job. Emmett wants me to quit Ferrari and work at the god-damn Volvo dealer. Volvo? Really? No soccer mom is going to buy a Volvo from me."

"Edward drove a Volvo. I wonder if his parents still have it. Wait, Emmett wants you to quit your job? Why?"

"Oh, he doesn't think it's appropriate for me to use my sexuality to sell cars to balding middle-aged men who just received six-figured bonuses for robbing Main Street America and ignoring their families all year. I'm good at it. I represent what their wives spend all their time with their Pilates and yoga instructors trying to replicate. I bust my ass for every red-cent of commission I earn. Now he's asking me to choose?"

"That is so shitty, Rose. Emmett is acting like such a pig-head. I would say it's Edward's influence, but since he is barely around, I have to doubt that. We need wine."

"Bella, we're eating ice cream. Wine?"

"A Riesling would work." I walked over to our small wine rack and pulled out a bottle and some glasses. "See, it says here it's a dessert wine."

"If you say so, Jan!" Rosalie replied, getting my reference.

I sat back down and handed her a glass. "So, is that what's chapping your ass – Edward being MIA?"

"Yeah, that and Esme called me today about Thanksgiving. She said she talks to Edward every day. I'm lucky to get a text. On an intellectual level, I get it. I know we haven't been back together for that long, but it isn't like we're in a new relationship either. It's like relationship purgatory or something."

"Isn't purgatory the space between Earth and hell?" Rosalie asked, putting her glass down and stealing back the pint.

"I think so. I dunno, we don't believe in hell. I know he's the one, but the fact that we've been apart for three years holds us back. It holds me back, at least."

"Bella, you have been miserable for so long. Suck it up. You hear me? Suck it the fuck up," Rosalie replied between spoonfuls.

"We're being utterly honest with one another?" I asked, taking back the ice cream. She nodded. "Okay, compromise with Emmett. Tell him you will continue to work at Ferrari, he will suck it up," I re-used her words, "and then, once you two decide to pop out some puppies, you leave." I shrugged. It seemed like such a rational decision. When I think of the guys Rosalie normally sells cars to, I can't imagine them wanting to work with her and a huge belly.

She sighed. "We'll see. That does sound good in theory."

Edward and I barely saw one another in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving. Well, except for the day he received his bar exam results. He passed; shocking. Edward Cullenman failing at something? Now that is something that doesn't happen.

Instead of a romantic dinner for two, I joined him and a few other associates at a bar near their office. I finally met Leah, Edward's officemate, in person. I could tell she was a little enamored with Edward. Not that she had been the first girl, or woman to feel that way. I did what I had always done in college: I befriended her. Better to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Not that I had to worry; she wasn't Edward's type at all, but I had a good idea of whose type she might be.

The only other plus from the evening was that I got to meet a few other law widows and I realized it could be a lot worse. One associate's wife was seven months pregnant and exhausted. The poor thing was sitting down, sipping mock-tails while the rest of us got drunk. She said she barely saw her husband. It made me glad that Edward and I could both put time in now to focus on our careers and education before we jumped into parenthood.

I was more than ready for a few days away for Thanksgiving and I hadn't been back to Forks since my parents had moved to Arizona. Prior to leaving, the most in depth conversation Edward and I had was coordinating our arrangements to the airport. He was paying for car service, but besides that one night out, a few dinners of takeout eaten in front of the TV, collapsing beside one another and a little cuddling, it wasn't much quality time. I never did broach the subject of him putting his mother before me. Sometimes issues like that are best left untouched. It bothered me, but our time together was too precious to spend nitpicking on stuff like that. He was, and would probably always be a mama's boy. So instead, we spoke about the weather, the mundane routine that had become our lives, and politics. Yes, I even listened to Edward discuss the pros and cons of each Republican presidential candidate.

Needless to say after a couple of weeks of nothing, I was beyond horny, but I refused to do the whole mile-high thing. I found it to be a little trite. It didn't stop me, however, from wearing a skirt on the plane home.

As we sat next to one another on the long evening flight out to Seattle, I smiled and grabbed a few extra blankets. Edward gave me a look, to which I responded by licking my upper lip.

**EPOV**

As Bella's tongue glided across her upper lip, my dick fucking twitched. It literally sprang back to life from the work-induced coma I had put him in. _Poor Zayin. _ We had barely touched for weeks, partially because I had been working like crazy and also because she had exams and papers due before the break. I think the fact that I was too tired to even jack off in the shower should have said something.

"Do you have a lot of reading to get done for next week?" I asked Bella as she pushed her messenger bag further under the seat in front of her to give her more leg room.

"Not too much. Did you bring home any work?"

"Just a few articles I needed to read."

"So, when do you get admitted now that you've passed?"

"First week of December. I have to finish up some interviews and everything. Bells, I'm sorry."

"Edward, why are you apologizing? I should be apologizing. I've been so needy, but it wasn't me, it was my hormones. I'm such an asshole."

"You're an asshole, but you're my asshole and I'm a douche bag. Seriously, as much as I thought work would suck, I had no idea it would be this bad." I replied, reaching out and taking her hand in mine on the armrest.

"You're a douche bag, fine, but you're my douche bag," she stated, mimicking my words.

We both closed our eyes and leaned back for take-off, but once we had reached cruising altitude and had received our beverage service, Bella started to unpack the blankets from the plastic. She spread them over our legs as the cabin lights dimmed to allow people to sleep. All we really needed was some Barry White and we could totally get it on.

I slowly moved my hand under the blankets and found Bella's legs. I inched my fingers up her thigh, over the fabric of her skirt, until I found the hem. My fingers eagerly sought refuge in her lacy panties. They ducked under the edge and she leaned back further, closing her eyes and spreading her thighs. Slowly, I moved one finger to her tiny nub, clicking her mouse as she moved up and down on her faux leather seat. Moving farther inside of her with my fingers, my thumb took over bringing her pleasure.

She loved it, mouthing the word 'oh' as her body moved with my pumping fingers. Zayin started to do cartwheels in my pants as he knew Bella was a giving woman and liked to reciprocate. Although Bella had sworn off hand jobs, the thought of doing something so sexual in such a public place was a definite turn on. Besides, with her parents there and us in separate rooms, I wasn't sure when I would have a chance to touch her this weekend.

There was a lot on my mind this weekend, and while the Swansteins' presence added some stress, it would also give me an opportunity to really speak with Bella's father. I wanted to ask his permission again for his daughter's hand in marriage. Not that we were ready, but I wanted to get it over with so that when we were I could just go for it. I planned to tell him that too.

Emmett and Rose actually factored into my plans quite a bit. I finally had lunch with Emmett a week ago. Although he and Rose had been fighting, they seemed to have come to an agreement. Imagine, compromising?

My thoughts were interrupted by the unzipping of my jeans. _Oh! _Bella's hand slipped in and took hold of a flaccid Zayin. I looked over at her and she smiled before reaching down and pulling out a packet of tissues from the pocket in the seat in front her. She placed it on her tray table and then leaned back and began to stroke Zayin, waking him from his slumber.

"You remembered tissues?" I asked. _Hello, Captain Obvious. _

"It's like the Boy Scouts say, be prepared."

I loved this woman so much. "You're like some sex Boy Scout." Wait, that sounded so inherently wrong. "I mean, you're like a sex scout," I replied as I leaned back and enjoyed the ride. Well, both of them. _Hmm... Bella in a sexy Girl Scout uniform. I'd totally eat her cookies. She could earn badges for sex acts. Wait, badges? Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!_

Between Bella's hand and the vibrations from the powerful jet engines, not to mention how neglected Zayin had been, I came hard and fast. Luckily, my little sex scout knew I was close and was able to catch it all in her hand. She dropped the evidence into her empty beverage glass and handed it to the flight attendant as she came to collect the garbage. We both ended up sleeping for the rest of the flight, curled up together, with the armrest lifted between us.

It was extremely early in the morning, New York time, when we finally arrived in Forks after switching planes in Seattle. The hour didn't stop my mother from being her most gracious hostess self. She led Bella and me to my room.

"Wait, I thought we were going to be in separate rooms," I asked as I put our suitcases down. Bella wasn't allowed to carry her bags, because my mom was worried about her marking the wallpaper.

"You were, but Bella's parents are in the guestroom down the hall and Pops is in the adjoining room, so no funny business," she replied.

"I didn't know Pops was going to be here. I haven't seen him forever."

"Yes, he decided at the last minute he didn't want to spend the holiday with his girlfriend's family, so he came here. Bella, have you met Irv?"

Bella, although sleepy, smiled. "Oh, yeah. We met the year Edward and I went to Boca for spring break."

That was a great spring break. We'd hung out by the pool and all the old men kept flirting with Bella, and my sweet girl flirted right back. My grandfather Irv, whom I called Pops, had become a bit of a player down in Palm Beach County since my grandmother died. He never remarried, but he was never single; there was always a special lady friend around him. The great thing about Irv was he wore a hearing aid and took it out to sleep. We would be fine, or at least as fine as sleeping in a house with both of our parents would allow us to be.

Bella and I'd had sex in my dorm room with my roommate there; we could be quiet-ish. Though Bella she was a bit of moaner.

Over the course of the holiday my parent's house, which was usually my own personal fortress of solitude, had become a bustling center of activity. I was used to quiet dinners, but suddenly there were four more guests to contend with. Thanksgiving dinner was wonderful and Bella and my mom tangoed around one another in the kitchen all day preparing an incredible feast. My mom even made her brisket. It didn't compare to Bella's, not that I could say this to my mom, but I did tell Bella later that night.

"So, I just wanted to thank everyone for making the long trip to Forks to spend Thanksgiving with us," said my dad, holding up his wine glass as we sat down for dinner.

"To our future machatunim," Mom added, looking at the Swansteins.

"Mom!" I glanced at her trying to urge her to stop.

"Oh, Esme, you really outdid yourself. Everything looks terrific. Look at that turkey, amazing," Renee stated, practically salivating on the table.

"You don't think it's too schmaltzy?" Mom replied.

"Oh, no. Now could you pass me the stuffing?"

Dinner continued with dispersed conversations around the table. I overheard Pops talking to Bella. "Bella, how's my Edward at keeping you satisfied? He better not be a selfish lover, I taught him better than that. Does he put on some mood music, maybe a little Sinatra or something to get you in the mood?"

Bella, who was across the table from me, mouthed, "Help me."

It didn't stop. "You know, even at his bris, we thought Edward would be quite endowed and you are such a small girl. Edward, when you shtup her are you careful? You poor dear, he could probably rip you in two," Pops said, looking back and forth between Bella and me.

Where was the Bella who put my mom in her place? Of course, the word "shtup" had pretty much silenced all conversations. Everyone was looking at the three of us, although Bella was looking down and I wasn't sure if she realized this.

"Irv, you must have taught your grandson well. He is amazing in the sack." As the words come out of her mouth, she realized she has spoken them to the whole table.

I avoided even trying to look at Mr. Swanstein. I've tried to chat with him a few times, but he isn't exactly welcoming me with warm open arms.

Pops slapped his hand down on the table, causing the crystal and china to rattle a bit. "Well, hot damn, I knew it was genetic! You hear that Carlisle? You should have those doctors find the gene for that!"

We all broke out laughing and the conversations dispersed again. Though I think Bella wanted to crawl under the table.

"Bella, has Alice picked her colors yet for the wedding?" my mom asked as we sat picking at the dessert.

"Gentleman, I think that is our cue to retire to the den to watch more football and leave these hens," my dad said, getting up. Pops and Charlie followed close behind.

"I'm still finishing up my pie," I said, looking down at my plate. I was beyond stuffed, but if my mom was bringing up weddings, I thought Bella might need backup.

Bella looked across at me and mouthed a thank you. "Yes, unfortunately. She picked hot pink - the dresses are one shoulder and cost a fortune, but it's Alice, so very Alice," she said with a sigh. She and Rosalie had been stressed out trying to keep Alice appeased.

"Her mother was telling me they booked the Ritz in Seattle. Renee, do you think you and Charlie will fly in for it?" Esme asked, turning toward Bella's mom.

"I think so, perhaps by then we'll have some planning of our own. She's getting married Memorial Day or Labor Day. Our religion makes it so difficult to have a Saturday evening affair, especially in the summer, but then who wants to deal with winter weather issues?"

"Ugh, I know. Well, between the Brandonbergs, Hales, and us, that would cover all of the holiday weekends. We could all do the weddings on Sunday night and not have to worry about sundown on Shabbat."

I almost choked on the pumpkin. Was that what really happened during the synagogue's sisterhood meetings? They plotted the weddings of their children?

"Oh, I don't think Emmett and Rosalie are close to marriage," Bella stated, looking at me and seeing through my lack of response.

I knew Emmett had been thinking about proposing soon. He and I wanted to plan it so that the girls' lease would be up, then he and Rosalie could get married quickly and Bella would move in with me.

"Edward…. What do you know? Oh my gawd, he's going to propose?" I didn't respond. I couldn't break guy code. "Hopefully they will have a long engagement," she added.

"Bells, don't worry, it will all work out."

Our mothers had been watching our little exchange and remained silent, but if looks could kill, I'd be dead.

"Esme, do you mind if I start to clear the table?" Bella asked. My mom nodded. I asked to be excused as well and joined the men in the den.

My father and Pops were snoring, but Mr. Swanstein was still engaged in watching the game. "Who's winning?" I asked, sitting down next to him.

"The Redskins, thank goodness. I can't stand the Cowboys, I root for whoever is playing them," he replied, not looking up from the screen.

"Me either." We sat in an awkward silence until the commercial break. "Mr. Swan, umm, can I ask you something?"

"Edward, you are sharing a bed with my daughter in your parents' home and apparently you are shtuping her much to your grandfather's satisfaction. Please call me Charlie." I used to call him Charlie, but since the breakup and reconciliation, I thought it was best not to assume anything, especially with Charlie's newfound interest in firearms.

"Charlie," I tried out the name, "I wanted to ask you for your blessing to marry your daughter," I stammered. I thought I was going to puke pumpkin pie all over him.

"Son, didn't you already ask me for my blessing a few years ago?" I nodded. "Well, you never lost my blessing; you still have it. There is no one else out there in this world who can handle my daughter the way you can. Now, I love my daughter, but she's headstrong. She gets that from me and you challenge her. Just don't rush her again and keep the shtuping behind closed doors."

"Thank you, sir."

"Now, shut up, the game's back on and it's close." He turned his eyes back to the TV. "Good thing you asked when the Skins were up."

I leaned back and let out a giant sigh of relief as I watched the game.

**BPOV**

Esme Cullenman must be on meds or she's putting on quite a show since her father-in-law is here and so are my parents. Sure, my mom has witnessed Esme's own unique brand of crazy, and could probably complement it with her own, but my dad's a pretty reserved guy. Hence, Esme has been playing the role of hostess that would make June Cleaver proud - or was that Donna Reed? Hmmm, I hadn't watched Nick at Nite in a while.

Both my mom and Edward's mom seemed to be so hungry for every little detail of Alice's wedding. I hoped they weren't trying to benchmark it so that they could plan something bigger or better. Alice's wedding was going to be on some grand scale that was just Alice. I knew I didn't want that, but I wasn't dumb either. The Cullenmans were well-respected members of the community and had a lot of friends and even more social obligations. A small wedding on the beach was not likely to happen.

Yeah, I had been thinking more and more about forever with Edward, despite our crazy lives. Seeing our families together for such a major holiday was helping to solidify those feelings. Our moms already referred to one another as machatunim. Since we were both only children, it was nice to know our parents could come together so that we didn't have to split our time for the holidays between them. If only my parents hadn't moved to Arizona.

Being back in Forks made me realize I didn't want to be a New Yorker forever. I could already see that Manhattan living had a shelf life and for me, it was going to expire sooner rather than later. It was comforting to know that Edward's trusty Volvo was parked in the driveway awaiting his return. I just hoped Edward would feel the same way when that time came.

**AN: You know that part in Peter Pan, where Peter asks if you believe in fairies and you have to clap your hands? I could use some clapping. RL is kicking my butt and I want to write this, but only if I know people want to read it. Do you want me to continue? Let me know. Yes, that was a Jewish guilt trip, but seriously – let me know if you think I totally suck or if you want me to continue.**

**Schmaltzy: **Excessive

**Machatunim**: (mach-ah-toon-im) In-laws; the Yiddish term for the parents of your son or daughter-in- law

**Shtup:** To have sex with or to give. If a Jewish mother tells her son-in-law she will shtup him with food, it means she is going to give him a bunch of leftovers - she's not going all Mrs. Robinson on him with a sandwich.

**Bris: **A Jewish religious circumcision ceremony performed on 8-day old male infants by a mohel


	12. Chapter 12: Babela, Babela Oy

**AN: Totally blown away by the reviews – thank you. Yes, I'll continue. I can't update every week, but I will post as soon as I can. **

**Huge thanks to wheather79 for pre-reading and Arfalcon & FanpireMama for beta-ing. I also need to thank everyone who reads. So, SM owns the characters - I circumcised them and gave them Jewish names. I tend to play up some stereotypes; it is all meant in good fun. If you are offended, let me know, or just hit the x button on your browser window or however you Mac people close windows.**

**Chapter 11: Babela, Babela, Oy**

**BPOV**

"Zero interest rate policy doesn't work. Period," Jake argued with another student in our Macroeconomics class. I loathed Microeconomics, but Macro wasn't as bad.

Period… Wait, when was my last period? I quickly opened up my calendar on my phone. I tried to write down the date on the calendar when my period started, because doctors always ask that when you go and I was sick of not knowing and looking stupid.

I started scrolling through the months. December – yup, there it was. Right during Hanukkah, this had put a damper on our plans. I hadn't written anything in January. Huh? Well, I had been on break, but not really, because I had spent part of the time at my parents and then the rest holed up in Edward's apartment. Part of my Hanukkah gift had been my own key and I seemed to spending almost my entire time there.

_I wasn't…? No. We used condoms. Except New Years, but I had been drunk and so had Edward. Shit. I should be paying attention to class, but screw it I could be pregnant. Okay, stay calm. After class is dismissed tonight, just run to the Walgreens by the subway and grab a pregnancy test. A late period doesn't mean I am pregnant, right? Are my boobs sore?_

I pressed my chest against the desk like I was leaning against it too hard. _Shit! They do hurt. _I tried to remember everything else I had been told about pregnancy in high school health class, but I couldn't recall. Sore boobs, nausea - I had felt queasy a few days ago. I tried not to think about it.

Except, I couldn't focus on Japanese monetary policy. Instead I watched the minute hand on the clock slowly inch closer and closer to my fate being sealed. Instead of typing up notes, I opened up my browser and turned to Dr. Google with all my symptoms. I read about testing and false positives and false negatives. I could test negative and still be pregnant? That had to be rare.

What if I was pregnant, then what? What would Edward say? Edward loves kids; he is going to be thrilled. Sure, not ideal. We'd have to get married, our parents would freak out if we didn't. I would move in with him or we'd have to look for a two bedroom. Could we live off of Edward's salary? What about school? I guess I would be due in the fall. I could switch to the part-time program and finish up my last year in the spring.

By the time the professor dismissed us, I was starting to want this baby.

"What are you smiling about?" Jake asked as we were packing up our bags.

"Nothing. Was I smiling? I wasn't smiling about anything," I replied, shaking my head in disbelief. Was I excited? For so long I had done everything to prevent pregnancy, including not having sex. The idea of something that was both part Edward and part me melted my heart.

"You coming to beer blast?" Jake asked.

"No!" I exclaimed. "I want to get home; I've got lots to do." I could be pregnant; I couldn't drink or eat sushi, right? Oh my goodness, I had like three Diet Mountain Dews yesterday!

"You ever going to introduce me to that chick you were talking about?" Jake added. He was like an excited little puppy.

"Jake, not now; I need space," I replied, putting my hands up defensively.

I walked into Walgreens and had to search all over the place until I found the aisle with the pregnancy tests. There were so many of them. I picked out a digital one because it seemed like it would be more accurate. The thing cost a bloody fortune too, but I guess that's just to prepare you for the fact that babies cost a lot.

Instead of walking around with the test in the plastic bag as I rode the subway home, I put it in my bag. I sat on the subway debating where to test – my place or Edward's. I didn't want Rosalie seeing the test in the trash, so Edward's seemed more logical. My internal debate was interrupted by a very pregnant woman getting on the train at Grand Central Station. As she stepped on, the passengers sitting eyed one another, which never happens in New York City, where eye contact is incredibly taboo. After a brief pause, several people offered up their seat to the woman, who graciously took it from a kid who looked more like a gang-banger than a Good Samaritan.

I briskly walked the short blocks between Edward's place and the subway station. We'd have to get on a waiting list for a preschool. If there was anything I had learned while teaching for New York Public Schools, it was that there were some great schools and there were some not so great schools. I had learned about how über-competitive everything related to kids could be in Manhattan.

Would we move? I didn't want to raise kids in New York City; that shit was expensive enough on your own. Would Edward want to move? I guess the baby and I could always go live with my parents in Arizona. This was like when I took the GMATs; it was a test that was going to change my life, or at least it could be. I used my still new and shiny key to open the door.

Once in the bathroom, I sat on the edge of the tub and read through the instructions. Do I pee on the stick or do I pee in a cup and dip the stick in the cup? The cup seemed a little easier. I ran to the kitchen looking for a disposable cup to use. I wasn't going to pee into a water glass. I finally found a bag of those red plastic cups we had always used in college to drink beer out of – that'd do.

I took it back and well, I peed in it. I grabbed the stick out of the box, and dipped it in. Then the waiting started. I finished peeing and sat on the toilet seat with the lid closed. I set the timer on my phone. Edward was going to freak out if it was positive. We were going to start keeping condoms with us everywhere, like in my purse, and drawers in every room of both of our apartments. Maybe we should just go back to not having sex?

"Bella?" Edward called out, followed by a slamming of the front door.

I wanted to yell to him that I was in the bathroom, but my throat closed up in a panic. _What was he doing home so early? He's never home before ten. _

"Bella?" He opened the door to the bathroom.

"Edward! I could have been taking a shit or something! Don't you knock? I think there should be some veil of privacy left in our relationship."

"We settled the case, so I came home to you. What are you doing in here?" His eyes traveled from me to the box and plastic cup sitting next to the sink. He then looked at the stick that was still working to decide our fate.

"Umm…" I bit my lip. "I'm late." Yup, there it was - short, sweet, and to the point.

"Late?" His eyes widened. "How late? Do you think you're…?"

"I could be. I'll know in a few moments."

He crouched down next to me and held my hand as we waited. Both of us kept glancing at the stick and the phone. When the timer finally went off, I held up the stick. It was clear.

**NOT PREGNANT**

I don't know why, but I started to cry. Maybe I had been sure it was going to say something else.

"Bells, it's okay; it's not positive."

I shooed Edward away as I messily sobbed.

"Did you want it to be positive?" he asked, lifting me off the commode and carrying me to his bed.

As he cradled me in his arms, wiping the tears from my eyes, I let it out. I didn't want to hide anything from him. Not anymore.

"I've never failed a test before," I sobbed. "I had it all planned out if it had said… It wouldn't have been so bad – a little person half you, half me."

"Shhh…. Baby, it's okay. It's going to be okay. This isn't a test that you can fail – it is what it is – either way," he soothed, stroking my hair.

"But, I wanted it. I want it, Edward – all of it."

"You'll have it, baby, eventually."

"You want kids? We've never really talked about it at length."

"Yeah, of course I do."

My nose was running and I wiped the snot on my sleeve. "How many do you want?"

"I dunno, four?"

"Four!" I looked down at my crotch. _He wanted four kids to come out of there?_ "Edward, no one wants to pray in a cathedral. I mean, sure I want kids, but the whole giving birth thing freaks me out. Can't we start with one, maybe two? Besides, you know how much preschool and private school costs here? $40,000 for preschool! It's like paying for college for a toddler!"

"Calm down, Bells, you aren't pregnant. We don't have to worry about that yet. Do you want to stay here?"

"What do you mean? Like Rosalie and Emmett?" They had talked about moving out to New Jersey, Long Island, or Scarsdale once they got married. It freaked me out a bit that things were going to be changing. Even Jasper and Alice had mentioned moving back down south. Until Thanksgiving, I hadn't thought about it at all.

"No, I always thought that after I got a few years in here that we'd go back to Washington. Having my parents close would be nice. It's hard to raise a family without a support system nearby." Edward ran his fingers through his hair; he always did that when he was unsure of things. "I know my mother is partially insane, but she means well."

"I've been thinking about Washington, too. I liked where we grew up. Sure, it isn't like it is here where everyone is Jewish, but I liked being different. I liked getting out of class on Jewish holidays because classes weren't canceled. They cancel them here, can you believe that?"

Edward was smiling. I loved it when he smiled. "I think I can get reciprocity from Washington for the New York bar, eventually."

My heart felt like it was ready to burst. I was so excited, yet so emotionally drained, but I had to tell him how I was feeling. "I'm ready, Edward. I know it seems like it may be too soon and that we've only been back together for like eight months, but when I think of my future, in every possible scenario, you are in it."

"That is the hottest thing you have ever said to me." He leaned down, his body hovering over mine as he started to kiss me, first my lips and then he moved down to my neck.

As I moved to wrap my legs around his waist, it dawned on me that this was how we got here. We could still have sex though, right? We'd use condoms. Ugh, I wasn't really in the mood.

"Edward, Edward," I mumbled. "We need to stop. I'm not in the mood. This whole pregnancy scare - it's made me lose my lady-wood."

"I could put you in the mood?"

"No, I just want to cuddle tonight." He rolled off of me and lay on the bed facing me, his hand supporting his head.

"So, tell me about your day?" he asked. He wasn't feigning interest; he actually wanted to hear about my day. There were times he would cursorily ask about my day, but as soon as he would even put the question out there, he'd begin talking about his own day; never giving me the chance to really express myself.

I rolled over and lay facing him, our poses mimicking one another. "It was good. Classes are going well. It's much easier this semester because I know what is expected of me. Then today took that strange turn, I still can't believe I broke my peeing on a stick cherry. We have to be more careful, otherwise I'm going to have to go back onto the pill or something." I knew we were trying not to talk about babies and sex, but my mind wasn't really anywhere else tonight.

"I know the hormones make you crazy, we'll just use condoms from now on. I swear I'll be vigilant about it. We can save condom-less sex for our wedding night – if you're ready for it."

"Don't you ever get tired of waiting for me to be ready for things?" I blurted out. I wasn't trying to start a fight or anything, but sometimes I felt like I was always the bad guy in this relationship, the instigator of all of our problems.

"I'd wait an eternity for you. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me." Edward looked down. I really wanted to kiss him. He looked so sweet and vulnerable and so I did – light kisses.

"Did you keep the ring? Did you get rid of it? Sell it? I didn't even get a good look at it that day." I thought about the day he proposed, the day everything went awry.

Edward used his head and motioned to his dresser. "Top drawer, still sitting in the box, waiting for you to tell me you're ready."

I grinned stupidly. "Really?"

"Well, you know I have it, but I'm going to make you sweat a little bit until I can plan the perfect proposal. You just gave me the signal, so now I can start planning it."

Hmmm… We had just passed our initial dating anniversary at the end of December, his birthday was in June, and mine was in September. I hoped he wasn't going to wait until then. Ughh, I was beginning to think like Alice. Not to mention, Rose would die if I got engaged before she did.

"If you can, could you make sure Rose and Emmett are engaged before us? It would kill Rose and she's been too good of a friend to me. I couldn't do that to her."

"I have it on good authority that it shouldn't be an issue."

"Hey, I was thinking about setting Jake up with Leah. Maybe the four of us could go out to dinner one night – sushi or something fun like that? What do you think?"

"Yeah, sure. Hey, I'm gonna get ready for bed. Do you want the bathroom first?"

**EPOV**

I looked over at her sleeping form and stared in wonderment. She must have been emotionally drained, because I knew I couldn't sleep. _Pregnant. Wow!_ The thought of Bella with a rounded belly with my child inside was so unbelievably sexy.

What floored me even more was that she had wanted it, badly. We had talked about kids a long time ago, but back then we were kids ourselves and it was always a very hypothetical conversation. Suddenly it wasn't and she was okay with that.

It was insane that something that wasn't even there, that would have been so tiny, could change Bella so quickly. Maybe it didn't change her, but instead opened her eyes. Sure, our lives weren't perfect right now and I worked hell hours and didn't get to spend nearly enough time with her, but the time I did spend was always with her. She was my life. She was the best part of my life.

I think I'd be a good father; my father was fantastic with me. I wanted boys; no man wants to have to deal with boys dating their little girls. Ugh, I couldn't even imagine what sort of things went through Charlie Swanstein's head over the years about me.

It wasn't that late in Forks, my dad would probably still be up. I slunk out of bed and tiptoed to the other room, careful not to wake Bella.

"Hey Dad," I said after he answered on the second ring. It wasn't unusual for me to be calling this late. The time difference between New York and Forks worked to my advantage in keeping in touch with my parents.

"Edward, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

I debated whether or not to tell him, but since he was a doctor, I figured I would take the medical route.

"Umm… I have a medical question for you. How accurate are pregnancy tests?"

"These days they can be pretty accurate, but a blood test is always needed to confirm. Why? Am I going to be a Poppop?" He couldn't conceal the excitement in is voice. I didn't know how to respond to him. "Son, is Bella pregnant? Does she think she is? Are you two ready for such a big responsibility? Your mother and I will help you, of course. Your mother is going to flip! She is dying to be a grandmother. Do the Swansteins know?"

I ran my hands through my hair nervously. I instantly regretted saying anything. "Uhh, I gotta go, Dad. She isn't pregnant, but don't say anything to Ma."

I ended the call before he had a chance to respond, regretting making the call. I was very close to my parents. They had stood by me through the whole breakup. They were always there for me, even if they didn't agree with me.

I snuck back into our bedroom, because even though Bella's name wasn't on the lease, this was her apartment too. She looked like an angel sleeping, all curled up in the blankets, with one leg wrapped around the comforter. Instead of joining her, I opened up the drawer that held the symbol of our future.

Taking the velvet box in my hand, I held it for awhile, glancing back and forth between my Bella and the ring. I took it out of its sacred resting place and held it in my hand. I thought back to the day we had broken up. How naïve I had been to think that was going to be one of the happiest days of my life, but it had gone astray so quickly. Why didn't I listen back then when she said she wasn't ready? I cursed my 22 year old self. She was ready now, but I didn't want to propose just because she could be pregnant. I didn't want to just do it because she was scared. She said she was ready, but this time I wasn't going to be so capricious in asking her.

"My precious…" I whispered in a raspy voice.

Oy! It was late and I was loopy. I returned the ring to its box and placed it back in the drawer. Soon enough. Soon enough it would be hers. She'd be ready for it this time.

**BPOV**

"Hey, stranger," Rosalie called out to me as I entered the apartment, drained from the night before and a full day of classes.

"Hey yourself," I replied, placing my laptop bag down by the door. Homework would wait.

"You look exhausted, everything okay?" she asked, looking up from the fashion magazine she was thumbing through.

"Have you ever been late?"

"Bella, I set my clocks ahead by like five minutes. I'm always running late – you know that."

"No, not running late. Late, like late late." I raised an eyebrow, hoping she'd get my drift.

"Oh. No, I'm on the pill. OMG, you're pregnant. Does Edward know?"

"Yes, but no."

"What? You're pregnant?"

"No, I'm not pregnant and yes, Edward knows. I freaked out in class last night and tested at his place. It was negative. I think I'm just late because of stress."

"Yeah, but still, did he totally freak out on you? Did you freak out on him?"

"Shockingly no, instead it really kicked my ass. Suddenly this life I've been planning was in question and I didn't care – I was excited. Nervous, of course, but having a family with Edward, it's just so – I can't even put it to words. Why have I been so scared of just accepting it? Sure, things may suck a bit now, but we both spend all of our free time together."

"Duh… Bella, you two were always meant to be. It's almost painful how obvious it is."

"Oh yeah, and what about you and your oily beau-hunk?"

"Em and I are doing so much better. You know he's up for a promotion?"

I wanted to take my mind off of the last day and listen to Rose, but of course my phone rang. I looked down to see who was calling. Of course she'd call.

"Rose, I've got to take this; it's Esme. Lord knows what she wants." I picked up the phone on the third ring. "Hi, Esme. How're you doing?"

"Bella, do you have anything to tell me?" she asked. _Fuck! I was going to kill Edward if he told her._

"Uh no, nothing, I've got nothing to tell."

"That's not what I heard. Are you pregnant? Are you bearing my bastard grandchild? You better go all Beyonce on my son and tell him to put on a ring on it. You can't let that child be born out of wedlock."

"I'm not pregnant." I can't believe I am discussing my periods with my boyfriend's mom. "Seriously, I tested. I'm not pregnant."

"Did you test in the morning or at night? How many times did you test? Well, you have to test in the morning when your urine is fresh. You know, when I became pregnant with Edward I had so many false negatives until I finally tested positive after several weeks. Of course, we were married and had a house. I don't know how people raise children in that city and with no support from relatives. Don't you think it is smarter for people to raise their families near extended family? My generation of bubbes is so different than our parents. We are so much more involved in our grandchildren's lives. At least, that's what the ladies at Hadassah tell me. You two live so far away; my own grandchild will barely know me. I mean, of course I will come and visit, but then what, I'm just a face in a picture…"

She wasn't shutting up. She kept going on and on about the other women from her Hadassah chapter and how they spent so much time with their grandchildren. As much as I wanted to move back to Washington, Esme Cullenman and her incessant hocking was quickly becoming yet another reason not to do so.

"I'll test again tomorrow morning, but I doubt I'm pregnant. Did Edward tell you?" I tried to sound calm and nonchalant, but what Esme said about having to test multiple times stayed in the forefront of my thoughts.

"Oh, of course dear, my son tells me everything. You should definitely test again. I can tell you from experience that Cullenman sperm are super-strong swimmers!"

The weight of Esme's words made my stomach curl. Edward always was an overachiever. Why would his sperm be any different? "Thanks for calling, I gotta go. Bye," I said quickly, throwing my phone on the couch next to Rosalie, and running to the bathroom where I proceeded to encounter my lunch for the second time that day.

**AN: Yeah – pseudo cliffie. **

**Babela – baby. This word, though difficult to find, can be found in a Coffee Talk sketch on Saturday Night Live with Mike Myers, Madonna, & Barbara Streisand.**

**Bubbe - Yiddish for grandmother**

**Hadassah - the Women's Zionist Organization of America, it is an American Jewish women's volunteer organization.**

**If you review, you get teasers and I will shower your inbox with love!**


	13. Chapter 13:ShivaMe Timbers

**AN: Thanks for the long wait and sticking with me. So, art imitating life – yes, I peed in a red solo cup and unlike Bella, my test was positive. I had a lot of trouble staying awake and even writing during my first trimester. I should be updating a bit more regularly now. FYI my little peanut is due on New Year's Eve, but we are hoping he/she comes before that to ensure we get the tax deduction. **

**Huge thanks to wheather79 for pre-reading and Arfalcon & FanpireMama for beta-ing. I also need to thank everyone who reads. So, SM owns the characters - I circumcised them and gave them Jewish names. I tend to play up some stereotypes; it is all meant in good fun. If you are offended, let me know, or just hit the x button on your browser window or however you Mac people close windows.**

Chapter 12: Shiva-me Timbers

**Edward POV**

I looked down at my desk phone – the caller ID showed it was Bella calling. I should pick it up, but I needed to run to a meeting in a bit. Then she called my cell phone. _Shit! _Leah turned around and gave me that look that girls give guys when they know they've fucked up. Was I that obvious?

Leah sighed loudly. I clicked on the phone.

"Hey, Bells. I'm about to run to a meeting, but is everything okay?" I asked.

I wasn't prepared for the howling that came from the other end. "Edward Cullenman, how could you tell your mother I thought I was pregnant? You know she's going to say something to my mom. You know, I let a lot of shit go and don't say anything, but this time I can't. I mean I never said boo about you talking to your mom everyday when you barely have any time for me. This, however, was private. Sure, I could understand you asking your father about it, but not her."

Where should I even start? There was so much wrong about everything Bella had just said. I was going to have to be late to this meeting. I let out a deep sigh. "Sweetheart," I started to say.

"Oh, don't sweetheart me."

"I talked to my dad and asked him some general questions. I can't believe he said something to her. I would never betray your trust like that. What do you mean talk to my mom every day? She calls me and I sometimes pick up if I have a minute, but usually I let it go to voicemail. You know if you call or text, I-"

"Well, you just have an answer to everything now, don't you? Listen, I just can't deal with you right now. I need some space. Just a couple of days – I'll call you."

"Do I get a say in this?" I asked, confused about what she was telling me.

"It's not a break. I just need some me time for myself."

"Bella, don't run away from me, please."

"I'm not. I just need me time."

I didn't bother arguing with her, but what did she expect when we were married? Where would she go if she needed space from me? Sometimes she could so irrational, but I had too much work to let it bother me … too much.

My long work days helped keep my mind from thinking about her. I was hoping this was some hormonal outburst and her period was around the corner - not that I wanted to think about that. _Ugh._

By Friday night, I even turned down drinks with a few of my law school friends who happened to be in the city. I just wanted to climb into bed and sleep – for as long as possible. Well, until I went back into the office on Saturday. Bella still hadn't called, but I had too much going on to think about her little mind fuck or whatever she was doing.

I had passed out on the couch when my phone started ringing. Out of instinct I woke up, thinking it could be Bella, because to be honest, I missed her.

"Hello?" I answered, still groggy.

"Edward, I hate to be calling you like this, but it's your grandfather Irv," my dad explained.

My heart leapt into my throat as my mind raced with all the possibilities. "Is he okay? What's going on? Dad…"

"Edward, he had a heart attack. I don't have all the details, but your mother and I are in Hawaii for a conference. Since you are closer to Florida, I need you to head down there and be with him."

"Of course. Is he going to be okay? We just saw him at Thanksgiving and he was fine."

My dad gave me the information and I proceeded to make travel arrangements to get down to Florida as soon as possible. _Bella! _I needed her. I needed to hear her voice. Any internal monologue in which I would normally spend arguing with myself was forgotten as I dialed her up. I didn't care if she wanted to talk to me or not. I needed her.

She answered on the first ring.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

I looked at the clock and realized how late it was. "Irv had a heart attack…"

"Oh, no! Is he okay? Are your parents flying in? What do you need me to do?"

"They're in Hawaii, but they are trying to get to Florida. I am taking the earliest flight out tomorrow, or today rather. I just… I know you needed space, but I just wanted to hear your voice," I replied, my voice cracking like my balls were just starting to drop.

"I can come if you need me to; whatever you need. I'm here for you." Bella on her knees sucking me off came to mind, but I quickly shook off that thought. "I'm sorry about this week. I was super hormonal from my period."

"Period?" _Ugh._

"Yeah, not pregnant, but it freaked me out. Edward, I want to have your babies. I want us to be a family. I want us to be together. I'm coming down to Florida with you. Don't argue with me. You may not need me down there, but if something happens, then I will be there."

"Bella, you are on such a tight budget – let me get your ticket."

"Edward…" she replied, whining a little.

Having Bella down there would be nice. "Calling the airline now."

Of course my flight was completely booked, so Bella got on the next one, which worked out well. By the time I picked up the rental car, she'd be landing. We'd go straight to the hospital.

I spent the rest of the time packing and Bella came over with a huge suitcase. I looked at her like she was crazy. "You know we are only going for a few days."

"I know, but I didn't know what I would need. Here, let me check your bag and add a few things for you." She walked into my room and started putting things in my bag, clothing I hoped I wouldn't have to wear. "Edward," she called out, "you forgot to pack underwear."

"Oh!" How could I have forgotten that? I continued to stare at the television screen as Fox News chimed in about another alert. I wasn't really paying attention.

**Bella POV**

As soon as the words came out of Edward's mouth about his grandfather, I knew he needed me. My school work didn't matter – he needed me and I wasn't going to let him down. It seemed that lately our entire relationship was spent on the moments that make or break couples. I had totally freaked out this week. I believed Edward and what he said about his mother, but it still didn't stop the news of my pregnancy scare from finding my mom. I had to deal with calls from her several times a day, asking if my period had arrived yet and each time I said no, she'd get excited; Then it came.

My mind was going a mile a minute as I sat alone in the airport after Edward had boarded. I didn't want to think about the worst case scenario, but it had crossed my mind. What if Irv passed away? I knew Edward's grandmother was buried in Florida, so I assumed if that did happen we'd stay down there. I could always email my professors and let them know there was a death in my family. I hated thinking that way, but I needed to be strong for Edward.

We were in this life together, and this was one of those worse moments in that "for better or for worse." Thank goodness the Jet Blue Terminal at JFK had Wi-Fi and I was able to email Jake, who was in a few of my groups, that I was going to be away all weekend for a family emergency. Time seemed to drag by as I waited for my flight to board. _Would it be wrong if I purchased a gossip magazine or two? _It felt kind of wrong.

I ended up sleeping for most of the trip and called Edward when we landed. He met me curbside and we headed straight for the hospital. Irv was in intensive care and we quickly found that he wasn't alone. When we entered the room, two old ladies were at his bedside. I mean, they were definitely in their late seventies, but they looked pretty well-preserved.

"You must be Edward," the taller one gushed. She reached out with her well-manicured hand and pulled Edward into an embrace. "I'm Eunice, one of your grandfather's special friends." _Ewh. _Special friend was old people talk for fuck buddy.

Eunice looked up to me. "Oh, you must be Bella. You two are going to make beautiful babies." I cringed a little.

The quieter one spoke up. "Hi kids, I'm Florence." _I wonder if she has a machine. _"I'm one of Irv's other special friends. We were with him when…" She turned away and let her sentence hang.

It took me a few moments to process what she was saying. They were both with Irv at the time? I hoped she meant they were playing bridge or canasta.

"It was just too much for him," Eunice said softly, shaking her head.

Edward, who had been watching Irv, looked up. "What do you mean it was too much? You guys were playing cards, right?"

Eunice and Florence grimaced. _Eeew. _

"Oh, that dog!" Edward said quietly, taking a seat next to the bed where Irv was sleeping, attached to machines.

I observed Florence and Eunice exchanging glances, before politely excusing themselves. They closed the door as they left the room.

"Wow!" I exclaimed as I took a seat closer to the door.

"I can't believe Irv had a heart attack while having a threesome! I mean, if you're going to go out with a bang that is _really _going out with a bang!" Edward stated, shaking his head in disbelief.

I was still trying not to think of Irv rolling around with two older women, but the mental pictures of saggy, wrinkled skin and sun spots flying kept popping into my head.

"I don't want to think about it, but I'm sure he's going to pull through this. When is the doctor going to stop by to speak with you? When are your parents flying in?"

"I don't know. I'll go call Dad and check with the nurses out in the hall."

He left the room leaving me alone with Irv and the machines.

I sat there for what seemed to be an hour and watched Irv sleep. He was slowly waking up and was groaning. I wasn't sure if he was in pain so I ran to the hallway and saw Edward talking to the doctor. Eunice and Florence were both standing next to Edward nodding.

"He's waking up, but I think he's in pain - he's groaning a lot."

Edward and the doctor ran inside, but the older women held me back. I wondered if they had gone through this before with their husbands. It must really suck to get old and watch the world morph into a place you no longer recognize with different values and new technology; constantly saying goodbye to your friends and family as they pass on.

"Let him go with the doctors, dear. He'll need you in a bit though. It was very smart of you to come along," Eunice said, putting her hand on my shoulder.

Several nurses rushed passed us into Irv's room, but Florence and Eunice continued to hold me back. I wanted to run to Edward and be with him more than anything else in the world.

**Edward POV**

Irv was slowly stirring awake. "Pops, it's Edward, I'm here with you," I said, taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Edward, my boy," he replied, his voice raspy and soft. I squeezed his hand again. "Come closer," he rasped.

"Yes, Pops."

"Stop screwing around and marry the damn girl. Life's too short to spend the time apart." His voice was growing a little stronger, but he closed his eyes and winced in pain.

I had never seen him so weak and vulnerable. Tears were slowly rolling down my cheeks as I tried to man up and be strong for this man I loved so much. "I am. I know," I replied, giving his hand another reassuring squeeze. "Pops, you have to fight this. You need to live to see our wedding and your great-grandchildren."

"She misses me, Carlisle," Irv said. I knew he was confusing me with my father but I nodded along. He was still for several minutes, but it felt like an eternity before he opened his eyes again.

"Come closer," he called to me. I complied and leaned into to him. "Closer!" he rasped. I had my face inches from him. "Move my penis!"

_What?_

"Move my penis!" he said again.

I looked around the room. The doctor was checking something and either hadn't realized what Irv had said or was trying to ignore it and give us privacy. If he was dying and his dying wish was for me to adjust his junk, how could I deny him that? I placed my hand under his blankets and felt around before adjusting his penis a little more toward the left, the way I liked it.

I looked back at Irv to see his reaction. A smile crept on his face and he left out a light moan that sounded more relieved than pained. "Ahhh…"

And then the machines started peeping and his heart rate flat-lined. Nurses rushed in and pushed me aside. I was ushered out of the room, finding comfort in Bella's arms as I waited for news on my grandfather.

She held me for what seemed like eons as we waited for news. His doctor emerged from the room first; his grim face confirming my fears. Eunice and Florence, who had fallen into the background tried to join in with Bella in comforting me, but I just wanted her. Her arms enveloped me and I felt myself cry against her; the tears a steady stream. I cried for the loss of my grandfather, but also the loss I felt for myself, for him not being there to share in all the joyful occasions in my life. I cried for having to be the one to tell my father that he missed saying goodbye, though I knew each visit he made a point of telling his father how much he loved him, even when Irv called him a pussy for doing so.

The nurses led Bella, Eunice, Florence and I into a room where we could make phone calls. I tried to reach my father, but it went straight to voice mail, both a good and a bad thing. It meant he was probably mid flight somewhere over the Midwest by now, but it also meant I had to prolong telling him.

Bella went with Florence down to the cafeteria to try to find me some breakfast, not that I had much of an appetite, while Eunice called the funeral home that she claimed everyone used because they don't try to screw you in your time of grief. I trusted her judgment, but figured my father should be the one picking out the casket and planning arrangements.

It felt like I was having an out-of-body experience, almost like this wasn't happening to me, but more like I was watching a movie of me going through these motions. There were so many decisions to make, but given that it was Saturday afforded us a little bit of time. Since it was the Jewish Sabbath, the earliest we could bury him would be tomorrow, but that depended on the funeral home and cemetery.

"Come cuddle with me," I called out to Bella. I was both physically and emotionally drained. We had left the hospital and had finally made our way back to Pop's place. It was strange to be here without him, but he had plenty of room. Bella and I laid claim to one of the two guest rooms, leaving the one with the private bath to my parents.

Bella emerged in the doorway, dressed in cotton pajama pants and a thin tank top. Her tits looked great. I just wanted to be near her. She climbed in next to me.

"Come here," she said, opening her arms as I nuzzled my face into her chest. She kissed my forehead. "I'm so sorry, Edward."

Suddenly I wanted… Well, I moved my face up until I could kiss the tip of her chin. I slowly brought my lips up, maneuvering my body so that I could reach her lips. I needed her. I needed to feel her. She responded to my kiss, returning it with her own hungry kiss. Our mouths sought one another out as Bella rubbed up against my body, pulling me closer by wrapping her legs around me.

I felt her hand travel down my chest and dip into my boxer briefs. I loved the way her soft hands felt around Zayin. Up and down she went, stroking him as he grew harder and harder under her touch.

"I didn't bring any…" I started to say, thinking about our past few weeks and Bella's pregnancy scare. Except it wasn't really a scare, that was too strong of a word; it was more of a pregnancy realization. I wanted this woman. I wanted a life and a future and a family with her – when she was ready for it.

"I brought them. Well, I threw some in my toiletry bag last week and I have that with me. I'll be right back," she said, slipping out from under me.

As I waited for her to return, I thought about Pops, dying from loving too much or too hard. _Fuck! I wanted to fuck hard now while I still could. _Bella returned, wearing nothing but a smile and with a faithful square package in hand. "Allow me," she said, practically moaning as she slid the latex sheath on and mounted me.

My hands reached out and grabbed her tits as they bounced in every direction. Bella rode me like she would a mechanical bull, pushing herself in and out of me and leaning back so that my cock hit her in just the right place.

It was everything I needed to feel at such a sad moment: the joy of life.

**Bella PoV**

I left Edward sleeping and quickly found my clothes in the pile where I'd left them in the bathroom. It took a while to find Irv's pots and pans as I scrounged around the kitchen. Luckily, he had a full carton of eggs in his fridge. I quickly went to work making hard boiled eggs. Edward and his parents would be eating them upon their return from the funeral. While I had gone with Florence to the cafeteria, she reminded me of many of the Jewish funeral traditions I had forgotten. The eggs were eaten to symbolize rebirth and we would also need to put a pitcher of water outside wherever we held shiva for mourners to wash their hands upon returning from the cemetery.

I wasn't even sure where we were holding shiva. I assumed at Irv's house, at least for a few days, which reminded me to remind Edward to email his boss when he woke up. But now he really needed some sleep. Not that I didn't, but I figured I could use exhaustion as an excuse to escape Esme Cullenman once she and Carlisle arrived.

Glancing at the clock, I realized they should be in anytime now. Just as I put the eggs in the fridge, Esme and Carlisle came through the door. It was both a relief and stressful. Suddenly, all of the unanswered questions were quickly addressed.

Carlisle handled funeral arrangements in the same way he handled a multiple trauma situation at the hospital – calmly, in a precise and calculated manner. Shiva: three days with two additional days when they returned to Washington. Funeral: tomorrow – arrangements made in the car as they drove from the airport.

I wondered how they knew what to do, but I knew they had gone through this before and it made me sad for the day when we would have to do this for them. Yes, I was even sad about the day we would bury Esme, because I knew no matter what we would did – even if we planned it perfectly; she'd still haunt us from the grave. It would probably be because the napkins didn't match the forks at shiva or something like that.

Tomorrow came all too soon and we were picked up in a black stretch limo and taken to the cemetery. Esme, who had been on pretty good behavior since arriving, let the crazy out that morning. First, it was running around asking each of which shoe looked better – black patent or black leather. They looked the same to me.

Now she was sobbing in the limo. "This should have been your wedding. Riding in a limo with you – this should have been on your wedding. I'm never going to have grandbabies…" _Oy, where was the Xanax? _

"Hey, Ma, guess what Pops last words to me were?" Edward interrupted. "Move my penis!" He waited to see what Carlisle and Esme's reactions were. "No, seriously he asked me to adjust his junk and then he died."

The entire limo burst out laughing. Everyone but Esme, who didn't think it was appropriate.

I tried to ignore her for most of the service, instead squeezing Edward's hand and then giving him a reassuring hug before he delivered a eulogy for his grandfather. There wasn't a dry eye in the place, though most of the eyes belonged to Irv's special women friends and they were sobbing any way.

We held shiva at Irv's house. The mirrors were covered and Edward and Carlisle sat on low stools for most of the day. Shockingly, Esme was surprised that I had made sure that there were hard boiled eggs to eat and a pitcher of water at the door for people to wash their hands after coming from the cemetery.

"Bella, thank you for being here, for being with Edward, for being there for our family. It may not be official, but I think of you as a daughter as much as I think of Edward as my son. It may not be official – well, yet, but you are a Cullenman."

It was strange, but even though her crazy often came out, that day we bonded and I did feel like a Cullenman.

_**AN: Okay, so I can go on Wikipedia and tell you all about Jewish funeral arrangements and take even more time to write in between chapters, or you can Google it yourself. Sorry people, but that Bruno Mars Lazy Song – totally written by a pregnant lady!**_

_**Off to start the next chapter for you all! Same rules apply, you review you get a teaser!**_


	14. Chapter 14: Welcome Back, Cullenman

**AN: Super long author's note at the end. To recap, Edward's grandfather passed away. Bella is not pregnant. Edward's mother is a shrew at times. Still Jewish and I still don't own this, but own the Jewishness of these characters. Huge thanks to wheather79 and arfalcon for beta-ing and pre-reading!**

**Chapter 14 – Welcome back, Cullenman.**

**BPOV**

I had all but given up hope on Edward ever proposing. After Alice and Jasper's elaborate wedding to end all other weddings, I figured he would pop the question, but then he didn't. Then Rosalie and Emmett, in an effort to not repeat the shenanigans of Alice's wedding, eloped. I knew it was going to happen eventually, but it just hadn't.

Irv's death hit Edward hard – much harder than either of us could have expected. We ended up in a funk. Life kept getting in the way and I knew I didn't need a ring to tell me that he was my forever. We were just going through one of the many ups and downs that couples often went through. Unlike when we were younger, we weathered through it. It took a lot of convincing, but Edward finally sought help for his depression. The anti-depressants took a few weeks to kick-in, but they definitely made a difference. Well, they did until he felt he was good enough to go without them and then he sunk into a deeper depression than before.

It was ugly. I had to threaten to leave him in order for him to go back to the doctor and get back on his medication. Only when my suitcase was out and packed did he finally relent.

Oy vey – Alice being a bridezilla didn't help. Her wedding, and I say _her_ wedding because Jasper was merely a gimp in tuxedo, was overdone past the point of being tasteful. Alice had decided she wanted a traditional Long Island Jewish wedding, despite growing up in Washington state.. The ceremony was pretty standard, but the reception – Oy! They had a smorgasbord cocktail hour, with passed _hors d'oeuvres_, a sushi station, pasta station, carving station, brick oven pizza station, Peking duck pancakes, vodka and caviar bar, and probably more, but that was all I could eat. Alice and Jasper made their entrance by being lifted up onto the dance floor from a hidden room under the reception hall. They came out of the floor surrounded by smoke from dry ice and then launched into their perfectly choreographed first dance. Of course, I still laugh when I think about Jasper mouthing, "one, two, three…" as he kept time with the music. Though, given the hot pink dresses Alice had us wearing, I try not to think back on that night too often. Well, except for dessert. The waiters kept coming out with more and more food, until finally they carried out candy bars in a kitchen sink. The fried Oreos were quite divine.

It was ridiculous. The whole thing was insane and we were pretty burned out from it. I had finished my MBA and started working for the March of Dimes. Edward was always knee-deep into work. So when Rosalie and Emmett surprised everyone with iPhone photos taken at the courthouse, it was more of a relief than anything.

Sure, I wanted Edward to propose and I wanted to get married, but I didn't want the elaborate celebration Alice and Jasper had and I didn't want the blink-of-an-eye ceremony Rosalie and Emmett had either. For Edward to propose, the two of us would actually need to spend some time together, which had not happened in quite a while.

And then my phone rang in the middle of the day.

Looking down at the caller id, I knew the number, though we rarely spoke on the phone anymore –texted – yes, talked – no.

"Edward, is everything okay?" I said, worried at first by the unexpected call.

"I was sitting here and realized that you and I have not had a quiet dinner with just the two of us in quite some time. It seems we're always going out to celebrate someone's birthday or going away party, but it's never just us. It looks like my current case is going to settle, so we should go out tonight. I don't think I have really enjoyed a good summer night of al fresco dining in the city all summer."

"Okay…" While it was not unheard of for Edward to take initiative like this, lately it had been quite infrequent.

**EPOV**

The whens had gotten in the way. _When this is done, I'll propose_, became a constant theme running through my head. Life just kept coming. It wasn't without constant harassment from my mother. She reminded me almost daily about her lack of grandchildren, but it had never seemed like the right time to propose. If I was to be honest with myself, after my last proposal attempt had led to our breakup and the darkest period in my life, I was a little gun shy to pull the trigger this time. I knew she'd say yes, but there was still a lot of anxiety.

When I woke up this morning and spied that small box sitting in my drawer, I knew I needed to shit or get off the pot. I was about to settle one of the biggest cases of my law career thus far and I knew that I would have some down-time before the next big case would land on my desk. The sun was shining on my way to work. There was practically no humidity, which is pretty unheard of for Manhattan in the summer. It was a glorious day.

As I hung up the phone with her and tried to calm my jimmy-leg, I realized she probably had no clue it was coming. Despite my best efforts, my leg continued to bounce throughout my entire day as I awaited this evening.

She of course beat me home and was wearing a flowing long dress. Maxi dress or something I think they're called.

"Let me just change out of my suit and then we'll go," I called as I put my laptop bag down and headed into our bedroom.

Bella's scent was everywhere and her presence was apparent. Our apartment was truly ours, especially because she tended to be a bit messy and had left some dirty clothes on the floor. I picked them up and threw them in the hamper. I swear sometimes she's like a thirteen year old.

Once I was in a pair of grey slacks and a casual button down, I grabbed the box.

I didn't take her anywhere special, just our regular neighborhood Italian bistro with an outdoor seating area in the back. Bella kept talking about her day and about some new research.

"I heard from Alice today," Bella started to say.

"How are they doing down in Atlanta?"

"She hates it and wants to move back to the city."

"Wasn't it her idea to move? It seems like Alice will always be that girl who always wants what the person next to them ordered."

"Ugh, don't get me started. Rosalie quit her job," Bella informed me, taking a bite of the last toasted ravioli.

"What? She loved working for Ferrari."

"You don't know this yet, but she's pregnant. Doesn't want to work anymore. She is going to do these parties and sell purses or jewelry or something. I don't know. She says a lot of the new moms do that in the burbs."

"Well, I guess it beats trying to raise a kid in the city," I replied, but then regretted mentioning kids. We had been super careful since our one and only ever pregnancy scare, but Bella wanted a family.

_Shit or get off the pot._

"Fuck this!" I cried. "Bella, I have been carrying this ring for far too long. It should be us in the suburbs planning for our first child. It should have been us exhausted from an ungapatchka wedding. I don't want to let work, family, and the craziness of our friends keep us from living our lives…" I stood up from my chair and dropped to one knee, looking up at her bright face.

"Isabella Miriam Swanstein, I have loved you for almost half of my life, maybe longer. You know me better than I know myself. You are my soul mate. We are beshert. I have lived life with you and I have lived life without you and my life is richer and so much better when you are in it. Will you please do me the pleasure of being my wife?"

**BPOV**

Fuck. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Hola.

I couldn't stop laughing. It was nervous laughter, but I couldn't stop myself.

It took me several tries to collect myself. "Yes, of course I will marry you." I was finally able to get out with a sigh of relief.

"So glad you said yes this time…"

"Oh, shut up. Of course I am going to say yes, you asshole. So, do you want to call Esme or should I?"

"I'll handle my parents if you handle yours, just make it clear to your father that you are not pregnant," he replied.

"You know they are going to want to all have a hand in planning our wedding. Wow, not to be a total girl, but that sounds awesome–our wedding."

"Let's call them later and enjoy tonight just for us."

"Edward, this wasn't how I thought you would propose. You're usually all for grand gestures, why such a casual thing?"

"I had originally, and this was eons ago, planned to take you back to that piano bar and serenade you with 'Hard to Say I'm Sorry' by Chicago. The words have always reminded me of us. It just never came together."

"This was perfect. That would have been ridiculously sappy and embarrassing for both of us. Even worse if you had put it on YouTube or something. This was so effortless, it's actually good." I said, looking down and taking a longer glance at the ring that now adorned my finger.

"You can stare at it. We don't have to talk."

"It's perfect. You are perfect…"

"Swanstein, just stare at it."

And I did.

**AN: ungapatchka: a Yiddish word that describes the overly ornate, busy, ridiculously over-decorated, and garnished to the point of distaste.**

**Yes, I am updating after over a year. I never gave up on these two, but I lost my mojo during pregnancy. My daughter was born early and with several complications and was in the NICU for over a month. She is the sweetest thing in the world, but we struggle to get her to eat and fight for ever milliliter we put in her. I hope to have this wrapped up in another chapter or two. I am not going to write kids into the story for these two. Despite what happens in a lot of fics out there, babies are not sexy and can strain even the best of relationships, but I guess that is why it is fiction. More to come. Not a lot of Jewish stuff in this chapter, besides a few Oy veys. Next chapter will be like a how-to on Jewish weddings. **

**Oh, and Alice's Long Island Jewish wedding is taken from my real experiences at real weddings on Long Island. Usually, you eat during the cocktail hour and no one ever eats the meal that is served. **


	15. Chapter 15: Goofed the Aufruf

**AN: Sorry. Life. Not beta'd wanted to get this posted. All mistakes and there are probably a shit-ton are all mine. Focus on the content and not on the grammar. Thanks. **

Chapter 15

**Bella POV**

"Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes!" I cried. I wish it was during some hot bedroom action, but alas we were back on a dry spell. After his proposal, Edward and I had been pretty hot and heavy for a while, but lately the wedding stress was a definite mood killer – or it was his mother. It was most likely his mother. Yup, it was definitely his mother and her insane guest list. Apparently Esme Cullenman felt it was necessary to invite everyone she had ever spoken to in her entire life, to her son's wedding. Our wedding was becoming the social event of the year.

"Geez, Bella," Edward ran a hand nervously through his hair. He needed a trim.

"The ballroom only holds 300 people. This is out of hand."

"My parents are paying for their people."

"No, when we started planning this wedding, you and I agreed not to let it get out of hand like Alice's wedding. My parents wanted to foot the bill, but being retired an all they could only afford 225 people – we got 75, they got 75 and your parents got 75. Somehow your mom decided if she paid for her overage it would be okay."

Money. The Cullenmans idea of solving any problem was to throw money at it. That is how our somewhat intimate affair became less and less intimate. So, the Cullenman's 75 was no 150 invited guests with 130 of them coming. Yes 20 no's.

"Baby, all that matters is you and me. All that matters," Edward said, trying to ease my fears.

Four weeks later…

The wedding was a week away. All of the hard work my mom and I had done was coming to fruition. Sure, Esme had commandeered the guest list, but my mom and I still worked on the smaller details. Everything was going to be perfect - gable boxes filled with treats for our out of town guests, printed menu cards at the table.

It was going to be as insane as Alice's insane wedding, but we had definitely been inspired by some of those wedding do-it-yourself blogs.

First was the aufruf. It was simply a blessing prior to the wedding held at the synagogue. No big woop. Well Esme insisted that Jewish brides don't have bridal showers, so she only took part in the one my mom threw for me in Arizona with all of her retirement friends. I always thought it was baby showers that were not done. Oh, well. Not really big deal. Edward and I had been living together long enough that we had a toaster and plenty of spatulas.

Esme was doing an after service reception after the aufruf at her house. Catered, of course with like 100 people or so. I had lost count. Everyone I had known this was just a prayer at synagogue and candy was thrown at you by the congregation. Who was I to argue with Esme Cullenman.

Edward and I both flew into Seattle two days ago, but we parted ways at the airport. He went to his parent's house and I met my parents at the hotel where the wedding was being held. Yes, it was silly and traditional to be a part for a week, but it was kind of fun to be traditional.

I arrived at the temple where we had spent years in Hebrew School and immediately saw Edward in the lobby. Had it only been a few days? My heart jumped.

"You look gorgeous," he said kissing me chastely on the lips. We were in temple.

I bit my lip and looked up at him. "I missed you too."

"Look, Bella there are kippot with your aufruf on them," my dad stated waving a small leather yarmulke around in hand.

What? I was confused. Personalized yarmulkes were definitely the norm for bar/bat mitzvahs and weddings but an aufruf? This reeked of Esme. I yanked the kippot from my father's hand and studied it closely. Sure enough imprinted in silver lettering on the inside were the words:

Aufruf of Edward Cullenman  
August 28, 2010  
Hebrew Congregation of Forks

Who does that? I tried to just push it aside, but the kippot she ordered were probably more expensive than the ones we had ordered for our wedding. We had gone with a white moray fabric. It was nicer than the standard satin that was at every bar and bat mitzvah, but not the suede Esme had gone with. Personally I thought it was too wintery to use in late August/September.

**Edward POV**

Bella and I held hands throughout the entire service and she played with my fingers, which made Zayin twitch in my pants. It had been too long. I could not wait for our wedding night. Maybe I could convince her to give me a blow job in one of the classrooms or something after the service. You know for old time's sake.

Finally after the Torah portion of the service, we were called up to the bimah for the blessing. Neither of us knew this rabbi very well. The rabbi, who had been there during our teen years was at a new congregation, but this guy was a putz. He kibitzed with us based on phone conversations we had with him so we would know the person officiating over our wedding. I had concluded this guy was a tool. He related everything back to baseball. While twelve-year-old me would have thought this guy was cool, at this age I am looking for spiritual guidance not tying life back to line drives.

He finished his blessings and then he moved aside as Bella and I were pelted with candy from all of the people in the congregation. Of course Emmett was there and aimed for my junk. He came close – too close if you ask me. You don't shoot someone in the dick.

The spread my mom put out afterward was ridiculous, but I had long ago stopped trying to reason with my mom. My dad was no help. He was still using menopause as an excuse for her behavior. I paid attention in health class, menopause doesn't last this long. We had said past menopause and right into hormonal imbalance. I was dumfounded why she wasn't on anything. I didn't think an aufruf called for a catered reception afterward complete with waiters. Sure, it was just bagels, tuna salad, egg salad and other dairy kinds of things but still.

The day quickly wrapped up and somehow I had barely had any time alone with Bella. We didn't even have a chance to sneak up to my room for a little make out session. She was back on the road to Seattle before I knew it.

I should have realized something was wrong. She had been too quiet all day, but I was too caught up in everything and frankly exhausted from having to talk to my parent's friends and colleagues. Her one word answers during our phone call should have tipped me off, but I am a guy not a mind reader. I am good at reading people, which is why I am a great lawyer, but reading Bella has never been easy.

"Bella, what are you doing with your mom tomorrow?"

"Wedding stuff."

"Do you need help with anything?"

"No."

"Is everything okay?"

"It's fine."

"It doesn't sound like it is."

Silence. Great.

Neither of us spoke for what seemed like eternity.

"Bella…" I plead.

"Why didn't you know she was getting kippot printed? Who does that? Why does she try to outdo everything. Why couldn't she have just done a bridal shower like a normal person? I am never going to be good enough."

Uh, what?

"Bella, you are being irrational. My mother is insane. We have long ago established this. I cannot control her. It isn't a big deal and you know my mother adores you. She always has."

"It's everything today, the guest list, those stupid yarmulkes. My mind just cannot come to terms with this. I just don't' know, Edward."

"Don't know about what?" What the fuck was she talking about.

"Us…"

To be continued…


	16. Chapter 16: Hasof or Hatchala?

**AN: Not beta'd all mistakes my own. This is it, people. **

Chapter 16: Hasof or Hatchala?

"You sure about this?" My dad asked.

"Honey, you can change your mind. It is perfectly natural. I know you have been through a lot this week, but it's not too late," said my mom.

"No, it's fine. The ketubah is already signed. This has been a long time coming. Come on it's time."

The onsite coordinator opened the door and gave us the nod as I took my parents arms. It was amazing we got here, because a few days ago, I had been pissed at Edward and his family. His mom was still annoying, but I was trying to let her way of overdoing everything spoil this for me… for us.

The Esme Cullenman show aka the rehearsal dinner went off just fine. Our bridal party was great and went through the rehearsal quickly and then the Cullenmans really stepped it up for the dinner. It was about half of the guest list to the wedding. I left early as I needed my beauty rest, but from what I understand the Cullenmans and their friends hosted an after-party in their hotel suites that went on to the early morning. My parents were not like that at all.

Edward looked amazing in his tuxedo. We had already seen one another during the signing of the marriage contract – the ketubah. It was a tradition and we had picked out a gorgeous Ketubah that we planned to have framed and put up in our apartment.

"Only Jews would start off marriage with a contract," Edward had joked. It wasn't like a prenuptial agreement with the financial ramifications, but it did lay out the obligations of the husband to his wife and was then signed by both parties and witnessed.

The faces on the sides of the aisles were blurs. All I saw was Edward and his parents and our bridal party and the Rabbi and the Cantor all under the chuppah. Edward met me the end and from there I circled him seven times.

I had to fight for that one. The Rabbi prefers a more modern take on the tradition of the bride circling the groom, where they share the duty – each walking around the other three times and then walking around an imaginary point once together. We stuck to the traditional.

My hands shook as I took a sip of wine after it had been blessed. Thankfully, someone had the foresight to put white wine in the glass rather than red wine. I still didn't spill on my dress, but I felt like I came close.

The Rabbi started talking again, but everything was such a blur. The rings it was time to exchange the rings. Who had them. Edward. That's right he had given them to Emmett.

"Your hand, Bella. Give Edward your hand and extended your right index finger," instructed the Rabbi.

The Rabbi broke up the words in Hebrew and Edward repeated each phrase after him, perfectly, of course.

Then he repeated in English, "Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the law of Moses and Israel."

Then it was Edward's turn to stick out his finger and my turn to recite.

"Ani l'dodi,"the Rabbi said and I repeated.

"Ve dodi li."

"Now repeat after me in English, I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine."

I took a deep breath. Years of laughter, sexual peaks and valleys, so much love and so much heartache; it all seemed like it was coming to an end, but it wasn't. Nothing was really going to change but everything, nothing and my name.

I looked up at Edward again, because frankly I was finding the floor fascinating. "I am my beloved, and my beloved is mine," I said sliding the ring on Edward's finger.

I couldn't help but tell myself a joke, because I had done so many things to that very finger – sucked it, had it fuck me, caress me. Gawd I was horny. There had better be some wedding night sexing happening tonight. What was wrong with me to be thinking about this during my wedding. I was a perv. Definitely, a total pervert.

The Rabbi continued with the seven blessings over the bride and the groom. Some of it sounded familiar and not just from the other weddings we had been to, but from summer camp.

They and again this is a they that is unknown, but they say to enjoy your wedding because it goes by so quickly. Well it did. No sooner did the Rabbi finish the blessings, reading of our ketubah, but Edward was smashing a glass, well actually, a light bulb in a satin pouch and kissing me.

I almost tripped on our way back down the aisle, not tripped slipped. I don't think anyone noticed. They were all singing Mazel Tov. I think I ate a lamb chop during our happy hour. Our guests were enjoying past hor d'oeuvres and stations of food. Not a ton just a few. It wasn't crazy like Alice's wedding where she even had a brick oven pizza and caviar station, but it was nice and tasteful. Edward and I were outside taking pictures of just the two of us with our photographer.

"Please put your hands together for Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullenman," the band leader called out. That was our cue as we walked into the reception room.

The band broke out into Etta James' _At Last_. We began to dance in the center of the dance floor. I hated that all eyes were on us. Dance lessons had never fit into our schedule and I hated when the first dance looked too choreographed anyways so we were totally winging this. It may be a little off, but I would rather be off than Edward counting along to the beats.

The band then invited our parents, then the rest of the wedding party to join us. I looked around at everyone who had come from near and far to celebrate with us. I was glad we made it easy for them by having everything in a hotel. We had too many people from out of town to make the schlep all over Seattle.

Some people say hotel ballrooms are too generic for their wedding, but as Edward twirled me around and I saw all of the people who had supported us through our childhood, college, grad school and now – I couldn't help but think of how special our wedding venue truly was.

The music changed and before I knew what was happening, I was being put in one of the chairs as two guys attempted to lift me into the center of the Hora circle. I looked over and saw a bunch of guys lifting him up. Do they not realize that there are four legs on a chair? Why are they only holding two. The chair started to dip a bit.

Edward looked over at me and saw the fear on my face. You hear these stories about brides or grooms getting dropped during the Hora. Not just dropped but permanent brain damage kind of falls. I don't know if it's true, but I really didn't want to be carried off in an ambulance.

"Put me down or get more support," I cried as the two guys lifting me put down my chair. Edwards soon followed.

Feet on the ground felt good.

**EPOV**

How many hairpins could be in one woman's head? I tried to help Bella take all of the pins out, but I must have done it wrong, because I started yanking on her hair and she screamed out in pain and not in that good way.

"Screw your hair," I pleaded. "Just come to bed."

The hotel had covered the bed in the bridal suite in rose petals and left us with some champagne. Not that we needed to drink anymore. The catering people at the hotel had been briefed on our favorite drinks and we always had one throughout the entire reception. It really did go by quickly.

She was mine. Mine. Mrs. Edward Cullenman. At least that's what it said on the tush of her boyshorts.

Oh. Fuck me. Oh, wait she was about to.

"Why, hello there Mr. Cullenman," Bella whispered, with her best come hither look as she plopped onto the bed next to me, wearing only her Mrs. Edward Cullenman undies. Face. Look at her face, but oh. I glance at her tits they looked phenomenal. Zayin was ready, willing and able to serve.

I turned to her. "So, how does it feel to be Mrs. Cullenman?"

She paused for second, pursing her lips together. "Besides, having to share the title with your mom? It feels pretty fucking awesome."

It sure did.

~Hasof or Hatchala? (the End or the Beginning in Hebrew) ~

**AN: So, little Kosherward and Jewella got married. This is where I am ending the story. I could write more, but they got together. It was fine. No, a giant meteorite never fell from space and struck Esme. I am sure they will have their ups and downs – tears and joys of life. Most of the wedding stuff was taken from my wedding. Yes, even the kippot at the aufruf – happened to me. You would think seven years later it wouldn't bother me, but it still irks me to no end when my mother in law uses them for holidays. **

**For anyone who has ever left a review, your review is a tiny bit of sunshine in my inbox – thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. Huge thanks to all of my betas through my entire writing experience and all of the people chat with me on twitter.**

**I am on twitter – stupidreader. Hit me up sometime. I am done writing for a while. I have no time. So, shalom, bitches. **

**Oh, and if you want to look up anything I mentioned on here the Wikipedia page on Jewish weddings is actually pretty decent. I was going to include everything from my wedding program on here, but I couldn't find it. **


End file.
